Artist: Faith Hill
Disclaimer - I own nothing to do with Supernatural or Buffy
Note - I'm feeling a little melancholy so this is sad, it's the start of what sent Faith on her journey and her first meeting with our favorite boys.
She wished that she could say she was surprised, that she never would have expected this from him. The truth was though, that she was too tired to be surprised. She had spent the last few months trying to make something of a relationship that wasn't going to work. Faith knew that, Robin knew that, even the baby slayers knew that. She was surprised that it hurt her to hear from him that he was in love with someone else. That he had lost interest in her, that she had become too 'domesticated' for him. After he had spent so much time trying to mold her exactly that way. Instead of trying to communicate he decided she wasn't worth it? What was that about?
"You should have seen this coming," His voice wasn't sorry though, it was cold and condescending ... at least she was used to condescension from him. She nodded and sucked back the sobs that would match the tears already starting to spill over onto her cheeks. "Come on Faith, don't be like that," Now he just sounded exasperated.
If I had just one tear
Running down your cheek
Maybe I could cope
Maybe I'd get some sleep
She sniffed loudly and looked up at him, feeling exposed beaten in her cotton pajama pants and cami. She wrapped her arms around her chest and cocked her head to the side, glaring at him for a moment. "How exactly am I supposed to be?" She asked, hating herself for the pain in her voice. The man she thought she knew shook his head.
"Look at you Faith, you're a mess," He told her quietly, his tone still cold. "Scared, bitter, angry, depressed, needy, clingy, and emotionally stunted. For someone so vibrant you're cold as ice. You're broken Faith, and I thought I could fix you, but obviously you're beyond anyones help, but they don't want to send you off the deep end again, so they don't say anything. Meanwhile you infect everyone around you," He told her. He stared at her for a few minutes as she tucked her chin against her shoulder and stared at the floor, tears still running down her cheeks. He sighed and left the room, slamming the door behind her.If I had just one moment at your expense
Maybe all my misery
Would be well spent...yeaaaa
Ten minutes later she was fully dressed in leather pants, black corset and the black leather jacket that matched her pants. She had one duffel bag stuffed with clothing, weapons, a pair of sneakers and basic hygiene essentials. She jogged down the stairs in the Cleveland branch of the Slayer Schools, wild hair flying behind her, black booted feet not making a sound and tears still running down her face. Younger slayers, her slayers, stared at her in shock. They tried to stop her but she shrugged them off and ignored their questions. Her cell phone was turned off in her pocket and she would turn it on when she was ready. She entered the garage, snagged her helmet and strapped her bag to the motorcycle in front of her before swinging a leg over it and pulling on the helmet. The engine revved to life with a roar and she drove off, not sure where she was going or what she was going to do. Just needing to get away. Could you cry a little
Lie just a little
Pretend that your feeling a little more pain
Faith stopped hours later, feeling drained of all emotion, at a little motel outside of Cincinnati. She had stayed at worse places, but not by much. The wall paper was stained and peeling, the mattress was creaky, the bathroom wasn't quite clean and over-all the room had a funny stench that led her to believe that it was sometimes rented by the hour, despite the sign stating otherwise. It took less than an hour for Faith to decide that she couldn't spend all night locked in that room, no matter how tired she was. she left her bag, locked the door and hopped on her bar, searching for the seediest bar she could find. Once found she wandered in nonchalantly, walking up to the bar and ordering a prairie fire and beer, downing the shot and before grabbing the beer and wandering over to the pool table. I gave now I'm wanting
Something in return
So cry just a little for me
Three hours of dancing and 7 pool games later she had the biggest baddest looking biker drooling to get down her pants. She led him out back and scratched her itch before having him follow her to the motel. She scratched and bit and tried to focus on her physical needs, ignoring the pain that knowing he wasn't who she wanted was bringing. He finished twice, and she hadn't once. It was a sad and defeating feeling for the dark slayer. She didn't bother covering herself as she walked over to the door, holding it open and barking for him to get out. She threw his bandanna down at him, his and her bikes both parked directly in front of the room below hers. She glared at the two who must have had the room below hers that were standing and staring, the shorter in amused appreciation, and the taller in shock. She raised an eyebrow and shrugged before walking back to her room.If your love could be caged, honey, I would hold the key
And conceal it underneath the pile of lies you handed me
And you'd hunt and those lies
She had left before dawn; still no destination, still with her phone turned off, and still feeling hurt. She stopped every day, searching for a bar and hoping to find someone that could help make her pain a little less obvious, but all it seemed to do was hurt her more. She got more angry and more sad after every failed attempt, feeling more broken and wondering how many people she had infected and how it had happened without her noticing. She had thought she was helping people and getting better .. maybe she was just making others more like her. Those thoughts hurt as well and she stopped at another bar, searching for the darkness of inebriation.
She smiled at the two pool sharks, saluting the taller one with her beer and a raised eyebrow before heading to the dart boards. Pinpoint accuracy was something she could handle, even with a few beers under her belt, thanks to her slayer abilities. She got a man to accept a game and the betting began. She hit the triple twenty every time. She didn't want to play fair, she wanted a little cash to buy drinks for the night.They'd be all you'd ever find
And that'd be all you'd have to know
For me to be fine
She barely came conscious as some guy tried to pick her up and pull her out of the cab of his truck. She tried to muddle through what was going on in her mind before she was picked up and he was carrying her across the parking lot and trying to hold her and unlock her room at the same time. She didn't care, a blissful numbness had overcome her and she was reveling in it. She didn't stop him as he dropped her ungracefully onto the bed, or as he unbuttoned his pants and then went to do hers. That was when the numbness started to fade. He was too short, to pale and had to many tattoos. Faith shook her head, her eyes starting to fill with helpless tears.
"You aren't him, you aren't the right one," She told the man sadly.
"Hush up, you'll like it soon enough," The man said gruffly, grabbing her ankle and pulling her down. It had happened before, long ago when she wasn't a slayer. They had said she was broken the too, worthless and pathetic. She'd believed them until she'd become powerful ... but then she'd fucked that up to, so maybe she deserved some kind of punishment. Something more than turning herself in to the police only to escape. She turned her head to the side and sobbed quietly, not fighting the large man. And you'd cry a little
Die just a little
And baby I would feel just a little less pain
When Sam and Dean left the bar at a run, a lot more money lining their pockets, the spotted the motorcycle. It was then that Dean remembered where he'd seen the brunette bombshell before, the one with the wild hair and sexy smirk. Naked, throwing a bandanna at a biker dude after they'd been kept up for an hour. The bike had been at their motel earlier. Funny meeting up with the same person. He wondered briefly if they were headed to the same place before his brother unlocked his side and tossed the keys to him. He turned the ignition and popped into pulled out, leaving flying gravel in his wake. It took barely ten minutes to get to the motel and they parked in front of their room.
"Dude, the could have at least closed their door," Dean remarked with a huff, gesturing to the room Sam was next to. His little brother turned toward the door and Dean got a bad feeling when Sam shoved the door open wider. I gave now I'm wanting
Something in return
So cry just a little for me
"What the hell are you doing?" Sam shouted, pulling the guy away from the girl at the bar. The guy had been pulling her pants down and she was just laying there, sobbing quietly. Once it stopped she curled up onto her side in a fetal position, covering her ears with her hands. Sam grabbed the guy by the shoulder and shoved him roughly out of the room as Dean knelt beside the bed. He wanted to pummel the guy to, but the chick was kind of freaking him out. Dean sighed and rubbed a hand over his head, chuckling sadly at the cute underwear she was wearing and wondering if he should offer to help get her pants back on. Her big brown eyes suddenly turned to him, they were filled with self-loathing that he didn't know how to handle at all.
"It didn't matter. It never matters," She told him thickly, sniffling and trying to sit up. She didn't fight him when he helped her to sit and then to stand. Nor did she stop him when he started to pull her jeans up supple thighs. He glanced at her face only to see her eyes staring blankly at the ceiling. The tears had stopped, but her eyes were still awash with internal pain.Give it up baby
I hear your goodbye
Nothin's gonna save me
I see it in your eyes
Sam walked back in and raised an eyebrow at his brother. Dean looked defensive as he zipped and buttoned the girls jeans. "What?" He asked, turning toward his brother.
"I got rid of the guy, is she alright?" Sam asked his brother, looking at the girl uncertainly. She was a tiny little thing, short and slender, though she had curves in the right places. Her face was blank except for those big brown eyes. She suddenly snapped back into reality and stared at the younger of the two.
"No, I'm really not." She said quietly, before suddenly leaping for the bathroom, stumbling, "I'm gonna be sick," She said. Sam caught her around the waist and helped her through the door, pulling her hair back and holding it as she puked into the toilet. His brother opened her duffel, hoping to find a towel, and raised an eyebrow as he pulled out a short sword, cross bow and three stakes before stopping and staring at the girl as she finished retching and rocked back to fall against the door. Sam handed her some toilet paper and she wiped her face.Some kind of heartache
Darlin give it a try
I don't want pity
I just want what is mine
"Nice toys," Dean commented, unable to help himself as he held up the box of crossbow bolts he'd just found. Faith turned dead eyes to him and laughed. Sam stood up as her laughter turned hysterical and she held her stomach as she kept laughing.
"Do you think a short sword could be doing the damage?" Dean asked his brother, unsheathing the sword and looking at it's edge. Faith's laughter petered out as Sam shrugged and she focused on the words.
"Doing what damage?" She asked. The two men exchanged a look and Faith shoved to a stand, falling against the sink to bend over and rinse her mouth in the sink as Sam took control of her hair for her once again. "Thanks," She told him as she stood back up. She lurched across the room, grabbing Dean's arm to help steady herself as she sad on the bed. She dropped her head to her hands and didn't say anything.Yeah.. Could you cry a little
Lie just a little
Pretend that you're feeling a little more pain
"Nothing," Dean answered her question, shaking his head as he looked down at the sword and then sharing another look with his brother.
"I can tell hunters from a mile away. There's a feeling about you, as though you're dangerous but usually not in a demon way." Faith told them, her head still down.
"Huh?" Sam asked a moment later, his brother echoing. She looked up at the two of them slowly and rubbed her hands back through her hair.
"Some Slayer I am huh? Can't seem to do anything right," She said, more to herself than to them. She shouldn't have mentioned knowing what they were, but she could tell and she was upset and drunk and tired. And they'd just saved her from herself.
"You're the Vampire Slayer?" Sam asked in surprise. Dean seemed to agree, a look of disbelief on his face.
"Thanks to some big mojo one of many, but I was The Slayer for a while. Now I'm just another slayer. Chosen to fight the darkness and all that good stuff at fifteen. One little girl against the big bad world." Faith sounded tired and defeated. I gave now I'm wanting
Something in return
So cry just a little for me
It took a lot of explanation between the three, but after introductions they shared information about themselves. Mostly the guys asked questions and Faith answered. They left the subject of the man they'd gotten rid of alone and she was grateful for that. Sam left Dean and Faith alone, Dean had more questions and Sam was tired.
"So are you on vacation or heading somewhere specific?" Dean asked her.
Faith shrugged. "Not really headed anywhere. I just needed to get away so I hit the road." There were unspoken questions that the both of them left alone. Dean nodded and stood up, heading to the door. Faith caught his arm. She looked into his eyes and he raised an eyebrow. "Please don't leave me alone," She asked softly.
Green clashed with brown and the two stayed like that until Faith pulled him backwards toward the bed, pushing him down and the pressing her lips against his. Cry just a little for me
Could you cry just a little for me?
The next morning Faith woke up for the first time feeling relaxed. She glanced at the sleeping body next to her and smiled softly, sadly, before standing up and walking nude over to her jacket. She pulled out her phone and turned it on, not surprised to see that her voicemail was full. She sighed and dialed a familiar number. It was past time to check in with Giles.
Love it? Hate it? I'm honestly curious - Damia