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the vulnerability of faith

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This story is No. 1 in the series "The Vulnerability of Faith". You may wish to read the series introduction first.

Summary: She was chosen for a reason. To protect and save the world from evil. She shunned her calling & welcomed the darkness. Who knew she was the one that could save the world from the evil that actually could end it; evil that had a face of a friend.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Highlander > Faith-Centered(Moderator)DemonaFR183381,0290422,0062 Aug 032 Aug 03Yes

Part Nineteen: Emotions Running Amuck

For Disclaimer and Notes see first chapter.

Part Nineteen: Emotions Running Amuck

We continued our shopping, got everything on the list and headed back to Giles' house. We made sure that the Watchers weren't tailing us when we did that though. We unloaded all the groceries into Giles' kitchen and then called a meeting with everyone. I sat down on the couch and Spike curled up next to me and leaned into my embrace. He rested his head on my chest as we leaned on the side of the couch. I ran my hands through his soft, non-gelled hair in a random but soothing pattern.

"So what is up?" Richie asked us once everyone had settled into the living room area. Adam looked at me and I nodded for him to continue.

"The Council is in town. We ran into Quentin and a few of his little flunkies, and…" Adam took a breath releasing it slowly. "The new Slayer," he finished.

"The new Slayer? Why was a second Slayer called after Buffy died? She only died once?" Willow asked and everyone was immediately talking among themselves.

"The first, Isabelle, was called when Faith died in 2001. When she took that dive out of the fifth story window with Darla after the fight she died in route to the hospital, at the hospital, several times during surgery, etc. Her death, like Buffy's momentary one in 1997 allowed the new Slayer to be called. When Isabelle died in 2004 the newest one that is in Sunnydale at the moment, Robin was called. Right now there are two Slayers alive and one undead," Adam said. He rose from his seat and stretched out a little. "Quentin is being a bastard and won't leave the country till Buffy is killed, yadda, yadda, yadda," he continued in a monotone voice. "Basically I don't think that we have to worry about them slaying Angel and Spike, but we might have to worry about them interfering in the fight with Buffy. However, after Faith's threat I'm not so sure that we will be seeing them around for the final fight. I think that the Slayer peed herself and Quentin looked pale," Adam said and I smiled a little.

"Since when do you threaten people, luv?" Spike whispered to me.

"When I need to get the point across, I get graphic, no big," I told him quietly and then returned my attention to Methos.

Spike scooted up further into my embrace and started to purr a little. I held him a little tighter so that he wouldn't slide down my body and he started to gently kiss and lick on the junction on the left side of my neck where my neck met my shoulder. I felt blunt teeth bite into my shoulder and I closed my eyes at the feeling. This wasn't supposed to be happening. I wasn't supposed to let another vampire near my body; I wasn't supposed to let Spike do this to me. I didn't need this right now, but the sensation felt too good, too familiar and too comforting. I didn't stop him. I didn't stop him when I felt him change into game face. I didn't stop him when I felt his fangs enter my neck and gently suck enough to get blood to come out but not enough to hurt me. He did this for several minutes, biting, feeding, licking the wound, and then repeating the process. I didn't realize that everyone in the room had been talking to me and was now staring at me until I felt Spike being roughly pulled off of me. Thankfully he didn't have his fangs in my neck at the time or I might have had my neck ripped open yet again. You don't get too many free tickets to get out of death and I think that mine were all used up at this point; I was on borrowed time and a half. I opened my eyes to see a pissed off Angel beating Spike's face in with one hand while Spike was held down on the floor by the other hand. I was pissed.
I jumped up off the couch and tackled Angel. We both went rolling away from Spike and into a nearby wall, shaking it from the force of our collision. I landed a punch to his face before he realized what was going on. He grabbed a hold of my throat and twisted my head to the right with his left hand, held my body down with his own, and gently fingered the bite mark on my neck with his right hand.

"Get off of me Angel," I yelled at him angrily.

"Do you really hate me that much that you would do that with him in front of my face?" Angel yelled at me. I caught movement out of the corner of my eye and saw Spike kick Angel in the face causing Angel to release his hold on my head but not my body. Spike kicked him again this time causing Angel to hit the wall next to me and bounce back off of it towards Spike. I managed to get up from under him.

"Spike, knock it off!" I told him.

"No. This bastard just beat the shit out of my already beaten face. He kneed me in my non-existent balls and I am in pain right now. So shove off Faith!" Spike yelled at me.

I punched him in the face causing him to fall to the floor and look up at me in complete shock. Angel stood up behind me and I backhanded him across his face too, causing him to stumble and grab onto the wall for balance.

"This is ridiculous!" I said to them both. "What the hell is this over Angel? Just tell me. Don't throw in anything else opinion wise."

"You are letting him feed off of you right in front of my face. He was fucking purring and getting intimate with your neck. You were enjoying it Faith. You should have seen the look on your face and the noises that were coming out of both you and him. The two of you were getting off on it!"

"You are jealous!" I exclaimed completely shocked. "You are jealous aren't you?" I asked him and he just frowned. "This isn't about Spike this is about me isn't it? I wasn't intending to get off on it Angel. You and I both know that I get off when you feed from me. I'm sorry that I let him do it. I really wasn't thinking and I'm sure that he wasn't either. It just has been too long since you and I have been anywhere near that comfortable with each other. Things were shitty before Cordelia's vision and they went straight to hell after that. I just needed to feel loved, needed to feel something other than the coldness that is closing in around me. I needed to feel Angel…I just needed to feel," I honestly told him and then moved away. I grabbed a hold of Spike's forearm that he held up in the air for me to help him up with. "I'm sorry for hurting you both," I told them and walked out of the room.

The rest of that day was a total bust. I stayed down in the basement and worked out for about six hours. Giles came down and trained with me for a little while until he got too tired and hurt. Oz came down for an hour too but he didn't want to get the hell beat out of him any more so he left and Methos came down to be the last victim of my training session.

"You feel like you are doing something positive here? You send Giles and Oz up beaten up and you are still down here breaking things and beating the shit out of yourself mentally," Methos said to me.

"I don't need your psychotherapy Methos. Can it!" I told him as I punched the punching bag that had been mounted in the wall. I guess it had been done like that so Buffy could train without someone holding it.

"I don't want to 'can it' Faith. You need to hear it. Beating up poor old Giles is just wrong and Oz said that he was all wolfy and still got his ass kicked. Perhaps you need a break yourself. You aren't going to be able to take Buffy if you wear yourself out now," Methos suggested to me.

"Leave Methos. I told you I don't want to hear it. I am going to get all this shit out of me right now. I have been having problems lately and this isn't making it any better. My friend, my Slaying sister, my blood, she died and I have to cut her head off to kill her. I don't think that this is in any way fair or just. I hate this Methos. I have to go up against her. I am going to lose too. I am going to die when I face her; I can feel it. She kicked my ass on a regular basis when she was only a Slayer. She is like super Vampire now, a turned Slayer. I am going to die. I only hope that Angel can take her once I am dead. I need you to promise me that if I died and he can't kill her that you will cut her head off. You can do it, you might not be able to beat her with strength but you can beat her with skill. Promise me Methos. Promise me you will finish her if Angel and I fail," I looked at him completely serious.

"I promise you. I will make sure she dies when we fight her," Methos said and took off his shirt and shoes. "Let’s go a few rounds Faith. You have my permission to attempt to kill me. I don't care how you do it just make sure that if you snap my neck put it back in the right position after I die please," he told me and I just nodded to him.

The two of us fought heavily for about two hours and I finally got him into a "death" position. I didn't kill him though because he had told me on several occasions about how he hates to die and then come back. After the six hour training session I had I went back upstairs and took a shower in the bathroom adjoining Spike's bedroom. After a forty-five minute shower I came out feeling much better. I had relaxed all my muscles and got a lot of stuff straight in my head. After I toweled off I pulled on a sports bra, underwear, and a pair of Angel's ratty sweat pants that had been packed for the trip down here, and tightly braided my hair. (Everyone minus Methos, Gunn, Cordy and I had ransacked Angel's and my room, and Oz and Lindsay's room to take clothes and stuff for the time that they knew they would be here for.) I walked out into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water and an apple out of the frig. I headed over the window that overlooked a park.

"You going to be ok?" I heard a very familiar and at times like this annoying voice question me.

"I'll be fine Cordy. Don't worry about me," I told her.

"I do though. You are my best friend Faith. I never thought that I would say that, but you are. Please just let me in right now," Cordy admitted to me and I reached my hand back over my shoulder and let her take hold of it and squeeze it tightly to let me know that she was here for me. "You wanna talk about the comment about how things between you and Angel weren't good before my vision. I was under the impression, along with everyone else, that things were great between you two," she asked me. I sighed.

"I have been just really restless lately. I don't know, perhaps just feeling my mortality slipping away. Especially when I would come back night after night completely beaten along with Angel and that he healed overnight while I was left to heal for a longer time period, which resulted in prior injuries leading to new injuries. Angel is healing faster than me, and he is better than me. That bothers me a lot Cordy. But yet I still continue to let him feed from me because I don't want him to die. I want him to be strong so that he survives the final battle. But I don't know Cordelia. Something just doesn't feel right to me anymore. I think that he knows that too. Perhaps I'm just pulling away so that when I die he will have it easier or something," I answered honestly and sighed.

"You know that your death is coming?" Cordelia asked me.

"As do you. I know about the vision you got about my death Cordy. I can read you like a book. I saw fear in your eyes when you looked at me the day after it. I knew. It is ok though. It just confirmed what I already knew was going to happen. I can't change the future. I will die when I fight B and I don't really care. Angel is my main priority. I must make sure that he survives to beat this Apocalypse. It is his destiny."

"And what about you and your life Faith? You don't care if you die?"

"I was born to die Cordy. Sooner or later I will die permanently and there is nothing that either one of us can do about that. I don't want to die Cordelia, God I don't want to die, but I am a Slayer. I accepted my destiny long ago. I have had too many chances and opportunities to relive my life after near death experiences. I don't have much time left on my card. I think that I'm actually running on borrowed time," I told her honestly.

"We are going to do everything we can to keep you safe Faith," she told me and wrapped her arms completely around my neck and shoulders, leaning over my shoulder to look out the window into the park.

"Don't worry me Cordelia. I won't survive this battle but there are others that are more important than me. Make sure that the innocents survive. They are the ones who will create the future. Teach them the ways of good, lead them away from evil," I told him and she rested her head on my left shoulder and just held me. We rested that way for a few hours, just staring out watching the night recede and the sun rise over the horizon of Sunnydale. Cordelia went to bed after the sun rose and I was left alone while the others still slept until they woke up several hours after dawn.
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