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When Myths Come Knocking

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Summary: Aahz decides to visit and the inevitable follows...predicaments and puns. Crossover with Robert Asprin's Myth Adventures series.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Literature > FantasyTelumielFR731,7740111,7799 Feb 0828 Feb 08No

Myth Delivery

Why? Because my brain is hosting a hamster wheel convention. This is going to be a set of mostly connected short stories about what happens when Aahz shows up on the Slayer's doorstep.

1) I have only read 2.5 Myth books, so this might be a bit AU for that series. Highly recommend them by the way. Really good popcorn books...easy to read and full of corny. That might affect my writing some.
2) This is after Chosen. Pretend with me that there is a Slayer house in Cleveland. The whole Scooby gang is there. I haven't decided if they live there or are just visiting. But they are there, so deal.

Disclaimer: I own nasing, nasing!

“Home is where, when you go, they break out the pillory.”
D. Defoe

Dusk was creeping up the street. Most people were inside their homes eating dinner. Which is probably why they didn’t notice a tall man walking down their street. Even if they had, they would not have seen anything unusual, unless they could see through magic. For the man was not a man, even though he looked like one. What he is was soon to be discovered by the inhabitants of one of the seemingly peaceful houses.

The man went up the driveway to the largest house and knocked on the door.

“Pizza’s here, guys.” A girl’s voice rang out from inside.

A stack of pizza boxes shimmered into existence on the man’s outstretched arm. The door was flung open seconds later.

“’Bout time ya got here. Does this mean we get ‘em for free…” The girl’s voice trailed off when she saw how many boxes the delivery man was carrying. She turned and yelled up the hallway. “Andrew, how many did you order?”

“Growing women need provisions. We must be well stocked.” A young man’s almost whining voice was soon followed by a whining looking young man. Andrew faced the girl with hands on his hips. “Besides, last time you guys ate all of it and there was not any for leftovers.”

“That doesn’t mean you get to put the local pizza joint out of business.”

“It is widely recognized that leftover pizza is one of the best late night battle planning snack foods. May is almost here and I am trying to stock up.”

“Andrew Wells…” the girl’s voice ground out the name.

The boxes covered the man’s smile at hearing the name. He had found the right place.

“Ah ma’am.” He interjected before the girl could continue her rant. “Pizza getting cold here.”

“Oh, yes.”

The door swung open a little wider. The man stepped over the threshold and set the pizza boxes down on the little entryway table. He heard the door close behind him.

“Now that will be $85.42.”

He turned for the money, only to find a sword at his neck.

“Ok, what are you?”

“Pizza delivery guy.”

“What pizza?”

The man glanced back to where he had set the pizza down. Nothing was there.

“Oh, crap. You guys have a glamour erasing spell hot-wired into the door, don’t you? Knew there was something funny about it.”

“Yes, we do. Designed by the best witch on both sides of the Atlantic. Andrew, go get Buffy. You didn’t answer my question. What kind of demon are you?”

The young man named Andrew had been peering curiously at the green scaly being before them, almost as if he knew him. He now scurried off down the hallway, “Buffy!”

“I prefer dimensional traveler, thank you.”

“Cut the political correctness. Are you the slice now, the tie up or the kick out kind of demon?”

“Do you have a preference?” This was said with what possibly was a friendly wink.

It was also said in time to be heard by two people returning to the entryway - Andrew and a short blonde who must be Buffy.

The girl with the sword turned to Buffy, outraged. “The demon is hitting on me!”

“Dawn, I think we need to work on your threatening skills. Demon, quit looking at my sister like that and answer the question.” Buffy took the sword from Dawn and aimed it menacingly below their visitor's belt.

“I am in search of a long lost friend. Renew old acquaintances. Catch up on things."

"Don't think I've threatened you before."

"Not you. Young Andrew there.”

Andrew paled, then broke into an ecstatic grin. “Aahz?”

“In the flesh.”

A knock sounded on the door and Dawn opened it. This time the real pizza delivery guy stood there behind a stack of boxes, which he handed over to Dawn. He also made the mistake of glancing at the people gathered at the door and promptly fainted.

“So, ‘Aahz’” Buffy rolled her eyes at their visitor. “I suppose he is the cowardly lion.”

“For the last time, NO RELATION!”

Aahz's name is a running joke in the books. I just had to borrow it. Let me know if there are any other explanations needed. I realize this is a bit of an exotic crossover. Please review...shall I continue?
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