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Ya gotta have Friends

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This story is No. 5 in the series "Crossover stories". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: Buffy and Faith meet the Friends- pretty random.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > FriendsJinxyFR1311,034011,11411 Feb 0811 Feb 08Yes
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters.

"So... how YOU doin'?"

The two Slayers looked at the expectantly grinning Joey Tribbiani, who was giving them his most seductive eyebrow raising. While Buffy rolled her eyes, not amused, Faith returned his sexy smile.

"Five by five, Joe. How YOU doin'?"

"Hate to break up the mating calls, but we gotta get going, Faith," Buffy said abruptly, taking the dark-haired Slayer by the arm and attempting to turn her around. But Joey quickly sidestepped them, obviously fishing for a way to make them linger.

"So- you girls have, like, superpowers, right?"

"Yeah," Buffy said shortly, tightening her grip on Faith's arm in annoyance as the other girl licked her lips slowly, eyes locked on Joey as she seemingly casually ran a hand through her hair. Joey's eyes immediately dropped none too subtly to Faith's chest, and judging from Faith's smile, this didn't bother her in the slightest.

"Faith," Buffy said pointedly, but Joey interrupted again, his wide eyes conveying how impressed he was- both with the confirmation Buffy had given him and the looks of the girls before him. A daydreamy look came over his eyes, and he smiled goofily.

"Wow... totally hot chicks who can kick some bad guy butt. God is a good, good man!"

"Uh, Joe, you're kind of missing the big picture," Chandler Bing muttered, shifting nervous eyes quickly at the two Slayers and just as hurriedly looking away, edging a little further away from them. "These are totally hot chicks who could break my bones with their bare hands. That's not sexy, that's really, really intimidating. I didn't mean that, you are both very sexy," he said immediately, his eyes widening in sudden fear and horror at his own words as he spun around to appeal to Faith and Buffy. "Please don't hurt me."

"Chandler, sweetie, almost any woman who's breathing could beat you up," Monica scoffed, somehow managing to convey pity, affection, and irritation in her tone all at once as she lay a hand on her husband's chest. "It doesn't take a girl with superpowers. I was wondering though, "she went on, touching Buffy's arm with her other hand, "you must have evil things burst in your house all the time and just breaking things and sending glass and plaster all over the floor. Just making a huge, horrible mess. How can you stand that?! Doesn't it freak you out to have to keep fixing it?! Plus you two must come across blood and intestines and stuff a lot in your jobs. Don't you ever worry about the germs? How do you get it out of your clothes?"

"Yeah, speaking of clothes, I love your skirt, Buffy!" Rachel Green gushed. "But isn't it kind of hard to fight in it? I mean, years of killing all the nerves in my feet with high heels, and I still trip sometimes just going up the stairs. How do you kick nasty monsters in those things? Oh!"

Rachel grabbed hold of Faith's arm, the one Buffy wasn't already gripping progressively harder in frustration, and the blonde New Yorker's eyes widened in awe. She began to stroke the leather material of Faith's jacket with near reverence, her mouth open.

"Oh honey... is that real leather?"

"Yeah," Faith grinned, not seeming to mind Rachel's hand running up and down her arm. In fact, she seemed to be enjoying the attention. "You like?"

"Where did you get it?" Rachel asked excitedly. "I can never find anything like this at Ralph Lauren or Bloomingdale's, and most leather stores' stuff just screams 'biker woman with tattoos and a cigarette dangling out her mouth,', you know?"

Faith frowned. "Hey, I have a tattoo. And what's wrong with cigarettes?"

"Oh, leather is so bad, you shouldn't buy things that are real leather!" Phoebe Buffay exclaimed, her eyes widening in dismay. "Do you know what they do to the poor little cows in the slaughter houses?! They bash them in the head with sledgehammers and cut them into pieces just so you can look all cool and sexy! Here, let me sing the song I wrote about it for you, you'll see what evil bastards those fashion people are!"

"No, Phoebs, it's okay, you don't have to-" everyone began to chorus hurriedly, but she had already slung her guitar strap over her neck and began to strum away tunelessly, singing in her trademark loud and off-key style.

"Oh, you may think you're clever in your sexy black leather, but if you know how they made it, you wouldn't be so glad! They bash the cows upside the head, and they make them fall down dead, and all the baby cows are very sad! Those evil mean are fools, trying to make you feel so cool, but what they're doing is very bad! And it really really really, really really really, really really really makes me mad!" Phoebe warbled.

Buffy gawked at her, blinking in astonishment and temporarily forgetting her attempts and desire to leave. Faith, however, after her initial jaw-dropping stare, broke into a wide and genuine smile.

"Damn, Phoebs, that rocked!"

"Speaking of rocks, have you ever had to fight a dinosaur?" Ross asked eagerly, his face alight with sudden animation. "Because some of them are peaceful beings, you know, and you have to understand which ones so you can be sure not to harm them. If you ever run across one, if you'd just give me a call, I'd be more than happy to-"

That was the push Buffy needed to remember her agenda: leaving.

"Yeah, Ross, well, as utterly tempting as that sounds, we really have got to go. We have... you know, we have evil stuff to do. Not us! I mean, we're not doing the evil stuff. And, and we're not doing it with them either. Sex, I mean. At least I'm not. I don't know about Faith..."

Having completely confused herself, Buffy once more grabbed hold of the younger Slayer's arm, beginning to pull her away as Faith looked over her shoulder, mouthing for Joey to call her. From the huge grin on his face, it wasn't the prospect of calling Faith that was dancing through his mind.

The End

You have reached the end of "Ya gotta have Friends". This story is complete.

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