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Ex-Evil Blonds Anonymous

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Summary: Series of ficlettes where Xander and Harry Potter chat while Draco and Spike attend the EEBA.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Harry Potter > Xander-Centered > Pairing: SpikenashFR1373,88382311,11914 Feb 081 Mar 08Yes

Baby Boom

“Morning,” Harry yawned as he settled down on the chair across from Xander.

Xander looked up from his magazine in time to see Draco slip through the blue door.

“What’s with the Dawn of the Dead look?” he asked.

Harry signalled the waiter who promptly nodded his understanding.

“Hermione had a baby,” he sighed.

“And why do you look like you had one?” Xander enquired as politely as he could fake.

Harry favoured him with a glare.

“No, seriously.”

The glare continued for a few moments as Xander tried to look as innocent as possible.

“Fine,” Harry finally said, “if you must know, Draco freaked out.”

“What, he thought all the attention would shift from him to the baby?”

Spike had had a similar reaction when Willow’s daughter was born. Except in Spike’s case, it was less freaking out and more about all-sex-all-the-time.

Xander smiled smugly at the memory. Those were a fun couple of weeks.

“Not exactly.”

Harry smiled a thank you at the waitress and had a sip of his coffee.

“Gets better and better,” he sighed in contentment. Nothing could beat this place’s coffee. “Hermione decided to give birth the muggle way,” he explained, “I made the mistake of leaving a book on childbirth out in the living-room and Draco read it. “

“So?” Xander shrugged, “I read one of those, there’s nothing horribly traumatic.”

“Not if you grew up muggle, no,” Harry conceded, “but if you grew up a snotty pureblood prince, you would do something like this:”

Harry widened his eyes as much as he could and clapped a hand over his mouth.

“Potter you cannot seriously allow your little friend to do this! They put things up there! Metal things! They might squash the baby’s head! It’s bad enough that Weasley is the father, the child doesn’t need further deformity.”

“He didn’t” Xander exclaimed, trying hard not to laugh.

“He did,” Harry nodded, “all last night and into the morning until he could check to make sure the baby wasn’t horribly deformed.”

Just then the blue door burst open and Spike stormed out.


“Uh-oh,” Xander muttered, “He only calls me that when I’m in trouble.”

Suddenly there was a finger pointing right between his eyes.

“Why didn’t you tell me the littlest Red could have been damaged? Do you know what they put up there?” he demanded. “Things! Metal things!”

Xander looked at Harry.

“Just like that,” Harry said, “only a little more high-pitched.”

Spike shot him a dirty look.

“We’re going to check on her,” he stated.

Xander looked at Harry again.

“She’s two months old,” he pointed out.

“Now!” Spike snapped.

He grabbed hold of Xander and dragged him to the exit.

“See you next week!” Harry laughed, waving at him.

The End

You have reached the end of "Ex-Evil Blonds Anonymous". This story is complete.

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