Disclaimer: All characters belong to their rightful owners... none of which are me. Top Cow Productions owns The Darkness, ME owns Xander & Angel. I own nothing.
We had survived the final showdown of Sunnydale and I wasn’t taking it that well. The gang was on their way to Cleveland to continue the fight. I had decided to take some time off for a vacation and had ended up in Los Angeles of all places.
“Come on Boss. Cheer up. Let’s go kill some demons. That should put you in a good mood.”
A Hellmouth closed. An ex-fiancé lost. Oodles of Uber-vamps slayed. The world saved once again. You’d think I’d be happy. Getting screwed over by the First Evil had put me in a real bad mood.
Starting the car I laid down some rubber as I pulled away from the curb and out into traffic. “You’re right Shadow! It’s time to vent. Lets go find out where that ghost of a First Evil is hiding now and give him a piece of my mind.”
Looking over I watched my little devil sidekick frown slightly in the passenger seat before answering. “That’s the spirit! But boss how we gonna find that Casper reject? Sunnydale is toast. Who knows where he is.”
I smiled slightly. “Boys you forget the first rule in fighting evil. When you can’t find the Big Bad you are looking for grab the nearest bad guy and ask for directions.”
Of course I decided that just grabbing some random bad guy wouldn’t work. So I decided to pay a visit to Deadboy and see if he could point me in the right direction. It took me a couple days but eventually I was able to find the souled brooding vamp.
Apparently Wolfram & Hart, an evil law firm, I mean that literally. See they only work for the truly guilty and evil. Former Mayor Wilkins had been a client of theirs before we took care of him. Apparently the head honchos of the firm had decided to let Angel run the L.A. branch after preventing a Power That Be from bringing about world peace. Which according to the local demon my little darkling army had tortured ran counter to the plans of the Firm.
Armed with the knowledge that Angel now was head of an evil law firm I had to change my plans. I wasn’t going to stroll into an evil law firm during the day. I may be crazy but I’m not stupid. So a little while after the sun had set for the evening I strolled into the lobby of the L.A. office for Wolfram & Hart.
Walking up to the receptionist I introduced myself. “Hi. My name is Alexander Harris. I have a meeting with Mr. Angel, the CEO.”
She didn’t even blink and a couple seconds later I was on my way up to his office.
When I found his office, who did I see as his secretary, Harmony Kendall. Our blonde bimbo slut from High School. Not even pausing to say hello I just kept on walking and opened the door. Walking into Deadboy’s new pad.
“Deadboy! How’s it going you brooding vampire.”
Yeah I know what you’re thinking. That’s not going to motivate him to help you. But then I could care less because he was going to help me or I was going to level the place.
I watched surprise form on his face before he let loose a resigned sigh. “Xander what do you want?”
“The First Evil. So if you know of how I can find him I would be extremely grateful.”
“What? Xander you can’t hurt the First Evil he’s a ghost, remember?”
I smiled slightly and brought forth some friends to back up my next statement. “Ah sorry you are mistaken. But I’ve got something that can touch the intangible. Right boys?”
I watched my gang of unruly darkling’s take in the room while answering. “Yep, that’s right boss! You are unstoppable!”
I watched a slight expression of fear cross his face before vanishing. “See Deadboy. I’ve got it covered. Now if you could give me directions to him or the nearest Big Bad who might know it would be much appreciated.”
Sadly my darklings just couldn’t stay quiet. “Hey it’s Angelus, Spider. Do you think the boss is going to let us get the hat trick? I mean we’ve already killed Drusilla and Spike.”
I watched surprise show on his face at that statement. “Xander when did you get that power? Do you even know what you wield?”
I smiled. “Of course I do. So stupid cult taught me all about how to wield it before I had my buddies here slaughter all of them since they wanted me to take over the world.”
I gestured at myself. “I mean come on me take over the world. No Way! But hey they weren’t the brightest bad guys I’ve taken down. So can you help me or do my buddies have to start interviewing your employees? I gotta warn you though. They hate evil and love their work. Since this is a law firm of bad guys it might get REAL bloody.”
“What are you talking about Xander? This used to be an evil law firm. But I’ve been cleaning it up. We don’t work for the side of evil anymore.”
I sighed before looking at my gang. “Boys go take a look around and see what you can find out. Apparently it’s going to take me longer to convince the boss here. No since in wasting time though. So go see what you can find out, no torturing anyone yet. Mission Impossible first. If things change to Saw style I’ll let you know.”
I watched my darkling army vanish while they were humming the Mission Impossible theme song. It brought a smile to my face.
I loved my dark little army.
I watched Angel stand up. “Xander you can’t just unleash the Darkness on my staff.”
Walking over to the chair facing his desk I sat down. “Relax Angel. No ones going to get hurt, yet. They will follow my orders to the letter. Cause the last time they didn’t they had to be drain cleaners for a whole month. The Darkness may be Chaos loving, but being forced to physically appear in sewers and clear blockages were torture for them. But then who would like swimming in raw sewage.”
While Angel slowly took his seat I kept on going. “Plus they love killing demons, vampires and other types of evil. Heck you remember the Powers that Be and their messenger Whistler?”
I watched Angel nod before speaking, “Yes, I haven’t seen him for a while. I thought they might have sent him to give me a message after I took over but he hasn’t shown up yet.”
I smiled. “Yeah they sent him but sadly I bumped into him first and sent him back with a message to the PTB from me.”
“What message was that?”
Like I was in a candy store I started talking eagerly. “Oh telling you is such bad form. Showing is sooo much better.”
I watched as HD showed up from the shadows in the room. He was a humongous darkling with a 42 inch TV in his stomach. “You called boss.”
I nodded at Angel. “Angel meet HD. HD this is Angel, the vampire with a soul. HD is my video archive. I actually have video of the message being delivered by Whistler because I sent my Darkling Handycam squad with him. Gotta capture my greatest triumphs for posterity you know. HD play the PTB video footage please.
I watch him smile. “You got it boss.”
Leaning back I listened and remembered it all like it happened yesterday when in reality it was three months ago.
“Excuse me, is your name Whistler?
I watched the balance demon frown. “Yeah it is what do you want?”
I smiled and watched my darkling army appear out of the shadows and grab him. “Perfect cause you are going to deliver a message for me to your bosses the so called Powers That Be.”
I watched his face as he finally realized what he was up against.
“Excellent! Boys it looks like we can skip the introductions as he knows who we are. Here’s the message and make sure you get it right. The Darkness is sad to inform the Powers That Be that this realm is now off limits to their machinations. Any interference in this dimension will not be tolerated and will be met with extreme force. Boys show him what I mean.”
“You got it boss.”
I watched them just start to lay into the so called balance demon with punches and kicks. Then they started slicing into his skin with their claws. About five minutes later I had them stop.
I set a nicely wrapped black box on the ground in front of him. “Here give this to your bosses. It’s proof of how serious I am. Let’s go boys we got other bad guys to kill.”
“What was in the box Xander?”
Angel had interrupted at this point. I told HD to pause the show while I answered. “It was my response to their actions watch and see.”
I smiled at the souled vampire. “This is going to really get good now.”
The video resumed and after a brief period of blackness we were in the presence of Whistler’s bosses. I loved what happened next.
I watched with reluctance as Whistler spoke up. “Um bosses? I have been given a message for you from the current wielder of the Darkness.”
I watched them all turn and look at their agent before he held out the box. It lifted from his hand and floated over to one of them.
Whistler started to speak again just as they opened the box. “He said to tell you urg… urk”
I watched as the balance demon exploded into a thousand pieces of flesh as my emissary, Annihilation, revealed himself. “The Darkness says to keep your interfering asses out of our dimension. You idiotic Glow sticks!
I watched anger rise on their faces as a darkling sprang from the box and promptly punched its fist through a Power’s head killing him instantly. As the box dropped from the dead powers hand more darklings started appearing from inside of the box. They promptly started attacking the stunned powers with no mercy.
Annihilation, spoke one last thing before he joined his fellow darklings in delivering my message. “This is what you fucks get for ruining human lives and killing the friends of our boss. Since you didn’t stop one of your own from trying to take over the world its time to show you what the punishment is.”
After a short lived battle that had the Powers temporarily retreating before being wiped out. Annihilation appeared in front of the camera. “Phase one complete boss. I will report back in a month unless things don’t go as planned.”
“Thanks HD you can go.”
I turned back to Angel and laughed. “Oh don’t worry Angel. I am a good guy. I don’t want to rule to world. I just don’t want to have any supposed higher being influencing how humanity develops. Its just like God wanted. Its time we stand on our own without any outside influence from beings that think they know better.”
I watched as he finally found his voice “Xander do you know what you have done?”
“Yes I do. Annihilation, my emissary, is leading my forces on a first strike mission against a stronger force. Problem for the powers is that now that we have a foothold they won’t be able to kick us out. Cause there is always darkness somewhere. You can’t have light without it. Plus if more troops are needed I can send them easily since I know where that piece of power is. As such my army is never leaving until those fucks are all dead. Cordy should have never died. I’m just making sure they learn that everything has a price.”
“But Xander they were on our side!”
I shook my head slowly. “No they weren’t Angel. They protected the balance. Letting neither good nor evil gain an advantage. Well I’m changing that. Its time for humanity to grow and with them interfering that would never happen. So I’m removing them from the board. I hope they enjoy meeting God or the Devil cause either way they are going to all be there soon. My boys will make sure of it.”
Shadow appeared from the shadows in one corner of the room at a run. “Boss! Boss! We haven’t found anything on where the First Evil is but we got info on a way to give the Senior Partner’s their message.”
Smiling I stood up and started walking towards the corner Shadow had appeared from. “I’m sorry that you wouldn’t help me Angel. But I’m in a good mood so I’ll leave your office alone for now. But I think you better look for a new employer because The Wolf, The Ram and The Hart are going the way of the Powers That Be.”
As I walked Shadow jumped up to my shoulder and whispered into my ear. “Really? It’s going on right now?”
Shadow jumped down and nodded as we walked into the Darkness leaving behind a stunned Angel. “Well round up the boys. It’s time to go introduce ourselves. Let’s all go say hi to the Circle of the Black Thorne.”
I smiled as I heard Angel’s last words.
“Buffy’s never going to believe this.”The End