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What Once Was

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This story is No. 1 in the series "Where To Now". You may wish to read the series introduction first.

Summary: Buffy died,went to heaven, came back to a cold world. There had been warmth but only because they were there. Her protectors. That’s gone, but ever since the Hellmouth was closed she can’t but shake this slowly creeping feeling of warmth. Buffy/Dean

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Supernatural > Buffy-Centered > Pairing: Dean WinchesterEmeralEmberFR1523,366042,6784 Mar 0815 Jun 08No

Chapter One

TITLE: What Once Was
AUTHOR: EmeralEmber
STATUS: In-complete
SUMMARY: Buffy died. She went to heaven and came back to a cold world. Where she was there was warmth but only because they were there. Her protectors. No that’s gone, but ever since the Hellmouth was closed she can’t but shake this slowly creeping feeling of warmth.
SPOILERS: Buffy all the way for the beginning to the end. Kind has to with the fact that Buffy jumped into the big glowing ball of purple. Not sure about what I’m going to do with Supernatural, but I shall post before chapters if there are any. Random tid-bit’s from the Angel series.
DISCLAIMER: The characters that are in this story belong to Whedon and Kripke, as well as the past history of the characters and anything that was taken from the shows.
Author's Note: Kind of thought it up while I was trying to get to sleep last night. Decided to type up the first part. It's kind of slow I know, but the next part has actual talking in it.


It was the same as it was every other night. Flash backs. Small dreams that seemed to having nothing to do with the pending apocalypse. But things that she had once had but were taken away from her. She couldn’t quite place them. She knew they should be important to her, but she didn’t know why. She couldn’t even see if whatever they were, were people or not. It could have been figments. Demons that were trying to get in contact with her. Anything. Anything at all. And that was what made it hurt even more. She would wake up and feel like she had the year before. As if she had been ripped from something far greater than the people around her. She once again felt the chilling cold of the real world, and she hated it. Buffy Anne Summers deserved to have something. Something substantial to keep with her. And the dreams seemed to be it. Only she couldn’t remember them. All she could remember when she woke up was that she had had it again. It was so close and she could feel it. They, whatever they were, were out there. And not just something she got to have in Heaven.

It was over. Once again the apocalypse had been averted. Losses had accord. Loved people had died. Girls that had died far too early into their lives had been taken from the cruel world, and it could be counted as a good thing. Even with the now massive array of Slayers in the world, they would still be the one girl fighting it all. Yes She’d have back-up. She’d have people to help. But in the end, she would still be in her own world that even other slayers wouldn't be able to understand. That was something Buffy and Faith had come to accept a long time ago. While they had so much in common, they had so little. They had different upbringings and were different people. They took things to heart differently. They reacted to things differently. And they would be hunted, tracked down (and eventually killed) differently. There was no way to change that.

Before the small slayer knew what hit her, she was looking at the hole that was now Sunnydale. Willow had told her how all the girls that could now did. And she felt it. The warmth that she hadn’t felt since she had been brought back and since she had awaken from her sleeps. That she had only gotten close to when she had been with Spike, who was now lying dead at the bottom of the hole in a pile of ashes which would forever be his final resting place. She knew it wasn’t because he was gone that she felt the warmth. She had loved him. That was not in question. But part of her knew that because he was willing to give himself for the cause of good. To lay his body (dead or not) down to prove to all evil that good will win, she wouldn’t have it. Buffy couldn’t explain how she knew she just did. And she knew that something would happen that would get her back to where she should be. Back to the girl she had been at one point.

All of them had left. Including her. They were off to Cleveland to fight on that Hellmouth. Her and Faith were going to train some Slayers there. Others were off in England. Some were in Africa. Over all, the new ‘Council’ seemed to have main bases everywhere, on every continent. It was good in the fact that if for some reason she wound up in Uganda, she could get back nice and safely to her lovely little ‘home’ in Cleveland. It wasn’t home. Not even close. But it was what she had. She had her family, which was really small. That was all she needed. Well, all she openly needed. There was one other thing but Buffy, the uber-slayer, had yet to find a way to tell those closest to her. She needed that warmth again. She didn’t care how she got it. Even if she had to sleep all day and risk getting caught in the sleep and killed by some low-level demon.

The only real reason that was, was because the dreams were becoming more vivid. She remembered some more things here and there. Like she knew the ‘they’ were people. If they were dead people or living people, she didn’t know. But they were people. She had some kind of connection to them. They meant something to her. What, she wasn’t sure. But they did. Knowing that, Buffy settled the random feelings for warmth that overcame her from time to time to her growing knowledge of what was lost. And what would be found again, as quickly as possible, without having to involve Willow, Xander, Giles, Robin, or Dawn. She didn’t want them knowing anything about the occasional feeling of happiness that was greater at times of distress then times where her and her friends were having a ‘blast’. Faith was the only thing that knew anything. And it would remain that way. Even if the other ‘bad-ass’ slayer would mock her in private. “Bitch,” she muttered to herself while pulling her covers over head and allowing sleep to take over.
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