Sex, Lies, and Alternate Universes: The Sequel
Buffy headed downstairs, Willow was asleep, and Buffy knew she had put this off for as long as she could. Earlier tonight, she had almost lost control of herself with Willow, that meant she could no longer afford to put things off.
For the past six months she'd been completely happy, and more importantly satisfied with the relatively vanilla love-making. However, several weeks ago Jean-Claude had called another power
meeting between them. He was wanting to see what each of them could do with the power boost, at least that's what he said.
Buffy wasn't sure she believed that, because things had quickly turned sexual, which lead to Buffy to believe that Jean-Claude was black-mailing Willow. After all, their first test had not turned sexual because Willow remained in complete control, but for some reason this time around Willow had been the third one to lose control after Jason and Xander only seconds before Anita lost control.
Buffy knew something was wrong, because Willow should have been practically the last one, if not the last one, to lose control.
Of course, Buffy couldn't prove Jean-Claude was black-mailing her friend, but as far as she was concerned all the circumstantial evidence pointed in that direction.
Buffy hadn't shared her suspicions, but later that night Xander asked Willow why she'd lost control. Apparently, Xander had smelled the same rat Buffy did.
Of course, Willow said she believed her loss of control was a direct result of her tampering with Anita's mind. She said she was almost certain that she had forged a minor connection with Anita. It wasn't the same as it was between them and Jean-Claude, but it was a connection, and Willow believed that she would be more prone to losing control of herself with Anita around. At least until she could figure out exactly what had happened.
What annoyed Buffy was that she couldn't prove her friend was lying. In fact, Willow truly seemed to believe that's what the problem was. So unless her friend had gotten better at lying over the years, Buffy would have to take Willow's explanation at face value.
Besides, Buffy currently had a more pressing problem to deal with. It seemed the magic had stirred up more than one thing. Try as she might, she couldn't blame the magic itself, but Buffy knew it was because of that night that she was starting to remember why she had needed (craved, almost) certain things
in the first place.
Buffy suddenly wanted to cry. After a month of being with Willow and Xander with no problems or issues, she'd been hoping that her need had vanished. Now it seemed that it had only been suppressed for a short time.
Sadly, this meant she and Xander would now be forced to start hiding things from Willow, and Buffy didn't like that idea, but didn't see that there was any choice, because it was becoming clear that if Buffy didn't do something soon she was going to lose control, and she knew with her luck it would probably be Willow not Xander she'd lose control with.
So, Buffy had come up with the bright idea of getting Xander to replay the events from that long ago night.
She wasn't sure what she expected, other than the hope that doing so would put the genie back in the bottle. That and she wanted to take ownership of that experience, and somehow this seemed the best way to do that.
She didn't want to carry the fear with her for the rest of her life. So, part of her was hoping that this recreation with someone she trusted (Xander) would allow her to let go of the fear and take back the night, so to speak.~ * ~ * ~
Buffy couldn't stop herself from shivering slightly. After much debate, Xander had finally agreed to recreate the experience. He hadn't been happy about it, but had finally caved to her wishes.
Now it was over, and while it hadn't been an exact copy it had been very close. Too close at moments, Buffy conceded. Still Xander had been very gentle, very careful, some times too much so, but it was close enough that Buffy had come close to panicking several times. But in the end she'd finally been able to let go of the fear and simply enjoy the experience.
She frowned. She had been correct in her suspicions that night. Sure enough, with someone she loved and trusted (Xander) she had mostly enjoyed the experience, at least once her fear had washed away.
"You okay?" Xander asked, and Buffy realized with a jolt that while she was trying to figure that out, Xander was having some problems.
"I'm fine," she said softly, and then moved to wrap her arms around Xander. "I'm sorry I put you through this..."
Xander gave a startled laugh.
"You don't...," he started, then sighed. "I understand what you were trying to do. But honestly I don't like the idea that I'm... That I was...," he stopped and took a deep breath. "I didn't like the part I was playing here."
Buffy stood up, pulled Xander close then kissed him.
"You're not him
," she said when she pulled back. "That's the whole point. I wanted, maybe even needed, to do this with someone I loved and trusted. Maybe it would have been better if I'd went to Jean-Claude or Jason, but I still don't entirely trust either of them."
Xander grinned, and Buffy was glad to see that he looked a bit more comfortable now.
"I know the feeling."
Buffy pulled away and walked over to the basement wall. It was eerie how closely the two rooms looked. But she could do this, she had done this, and that made her smile.
"Maybe I should have just let this go," Buffy said. "But I needed this to be my
experience. To take control over it, make it mine and not his
," she ran her hand down the wall.
"If it's any comfort," Buffy said, and turned to face him. "I'll never ask you to do it again."
Xander looked confused for a moment. "Oh, you mean that
Buffy smiled again and nodded. She had so many conflicting feelings running through her mind - it was hard to think clearly, but Buffy knew that she didn't regret recreating the event
. She didn't think she'd ever want to do it again, but was glad that she had done it this one time.
She turned back to the wall. She knew this had helped, but at the moment her brain was too foggy to really express herself.
She heard Xander move, and turned back around. He was getting dressed.
"Do you think Jean-Claude is black-mailing Willow?" She asked. While she'd made up her mind to keep her thoughts to herself, she found herself needing to talk about something.
Xander sighed. "I wouldn't put it past him, but I really don't know. I mean Willow's explanation makes sense."
"It does," Buffy agreed. "Maybe I'm just being overly paranoid here."
Xander grinned. "Maybe, but I tend to agree with you."
"You know," Willow said from the door, both Buffy and Xander jumped. "You could have just asked me."
Buffy almost reached for her clothing, but stopped herself. She was not ashamed, though she wasn't exactly thrilled that Willow had caught them.
"Not to mention a few other things we should have discussed," she said pointedly.
"But to answer your question, he's not," Willow frowned. "Not exactly. I mean he's made some hints," she held up her hand. "Hints, not threats, just... Well, I don't know how to explain it, but he wasn't the reason I lost control," she said firmly.
"I wasn't lying when I said I believe it had everything to do with what I did to Anita."
Buffy frowned. She wasn't sure how she knew, but she was sure Willow wasn't telling the complete truth, or at least there was something her lover was holding back. Although, all things considered, Buffy didn't have any moral ground to stand on and demand the truth.
"After all, he's clearly very
pleased that Anita isn't endlessly moping about Richard," Willow grinned. "Meaning he got more out of the deal than I did. I mean what's he gonna black-mail me with? Telling Anita? He has more to lose from Anita learning the truth than I do."
The silence that followed Willow's comment was uncomfortable, to put it lightly. But at least she had no sense that Willow was lying or holding something back.
Buffy looked at the floor, there was nothing interesting there, but obviously it was now her turn to speak, or Xander's, but he was clearly going to leave her to confess or keep her silence.
"You're right, I should have told you about this
," Buffy admitted. "But I wasn't sure you'd want to know."
Willow grinned, which made Buffy feel better.
"You're probably right," Willow said thoughtfully. "I know I would have tried to talk you out of this
. But it's clear now that this was something you needed to do," she paused. "So maybe it was best I didn't know beforehand."
Silence filled the room again, it wasn't exactly uncomfortable this time, but Buffy knew if she was ever going to tell Willow the whole truth about her needs and desires that time was now. Otherwise the moment would pass and sleeping dogs would be left to their slumber.
Buffy wished she knew which would be the right choice. After a moment, Buffy realized that she was going to tell Willow because there had been too many secrets between them, and enough was enough.
She opened her mouth and began to talk to her friend, Buffy almost grinned, because out of the corner of her eye she could see Xander gaping. Apparently, he'd thought Buffy wouldn't say anything.
After a moment, he began to look nervous, which made Buffy feel nervous. If Xander didn't think Willow would be able to handle it, Buffy paused, well, she couldn't deny that he had known Willow longer and therefore maybe better than she did. Perhaps she should have listened to him, but it was too late now.
Once Buffy finished speaking, Willow looked up, and Buffy was glad she'd followed her own instincts and told Willow the whole dirty truth. Willow was actually smiling.
"I'll be honest," she said. "Xander's right, I really want no part of that
," she paused. "But I'm glad you finally
"You knew?" Xander said, his voice sounded rough.
Willow laughed. "I suspected, but decided I really didn't want to know," she started blushing. "It's silly, but I was starting to get miffed because you guys wouldn't tell me."
Buffy held back for several seconds, then she giggled, and in moments the three of them were laughing together.~ * ~ * ~
The End!Final Note(s)
: I realize this might not have been the story folks had in mind when they were asking for a sequel, but the freaky thing is that this was/is always (for the most part) the way I planned the sequel to play out.
I mean, okay, granted there were a few little changes along the way:
The first was a bit of pointless research I was going to have Buffy do while she was in Washington.
If you want to know, I was going to have her use Mulder to see if she could find out what had happened to/with the Angel(us) and Spike of this reality, which might have been an interesting footnote, but totally pointless unless I planned to have Spike and/or Angel(us) become a part of the story, and that was never going to happen, so I decided to drop that bit and focus on other things.
The second was, of course, that scene from Chapter Four which turned out to be a bit more extreme than I'd originally planned, which actually caused an unintended ripple or two for the rest of the fanfic. However, in the end I think those ripples worked themselves out nicely, because it would seem that my subconscious was two steps ahead of me.
There might be a few other things that changed, but the ones above are the only things that stand out (to me, or from my notes) as having changed from the original plan.