Disclaimer: Characters = Not Mine. Ways to mess with them in this story = Mine
A week later Cordelia walked with Xander up to the front door of Buffy’s house. Nimitz rode on her shoulder and Samantha was curled up in her backpack. “I can’t even believe you. You dragged me out of bed for a ride? What am I, mass transportation?”
“That’s what a lot of the guys say, but it’s just locker room talk. I wouldn’t pay it any mind,” Xander smirked at her.
Her eyes rolled. “Oh great, so now I’m your taxi AND your punching bag.”
“I like to think of you more as my witless foil, but have it your way.”
An amused “bleek” came from her shoulder and a faint rumbling purr from her back gave her a pretty clear view of the ‘cats opinion. She frowned down at the ‘cat on her shoulder. “No comments from the peanut gallery. He’s bad enough on his own.”
Meanwhile, Xander hadn’t gotten a response at the door and had moved over to a window, “c’mon Cordelia. You wanna be a member of the Scooby Gang you gotta be willing to be inconvenienced every now and then.”
She put one hand on her hip (the other one was weighed down by Treecat). “Oh right, ‘cause I lie awake at night hoping you tweakos will be my best friends.” Cordelia ignored the little voice in her head telling her that for some strange reason she actually DID want to be their friends. Viciously, she stomped the little voice into oblivion. “And that my first husband will be a balding, demented homeless man.”
Xander had found an open window and looked back at her. “Buffy could be in trouble.” He stepped through the window and went to open the door for her.
“And what if she is exactly? What are you gonna do about it? In case you haven’t noticed, you’re the lameness and she’s the super-chick or whatever. Sam and Nimitz on a bad day could cause more damage than you!”
He looked at her with vaguely pitying eyes that made Cordelia feel about 3 inches high. “Well, at least I’m the lameness who cares, which is more than I can say about you. Buffy?! I’m gonna check upstairs.” She could hear him calling for Buffy as he went upstairs.
“Hey, I came when he called; what more does he want? It’s not like the Scoobies want me in their group any…” Her muttering was cut off by a knock on the door, she opened it to see a man holding a briefcase there.
“Good day. I’m Norman Pfister with Blush Beautiful Skin Care and Cosmetics. I was wondering if I might interest you in some free samples?”
A blinding smile lit her face. “Free?” She was just about to step aside to let him in when the tenseness of the two ‘cats registered. Just then a snarl ripped from Nimitz and she could feel Samantha jump out of the backpack to land on the ground beside her, also snarling.
Surprise crossed the man’s face and he backed up a step in alarm. Cordelia didn’t think she just slammed the door in his face while calling for Xander. Through the window in the door she could see worms starting to crawl across the man’s face. Xander arrived just in time to see “Norman” dissolve into a mass of worms. Nimitz leaped down to join Samantha just as worms started to seep under the door.
Xander grabbed Cordelia’s arm and pulled her away. “Time to run!” They ran for the back door with the ‘cats hard on their heels, but bug-man was already there reassembling himself. A scream escaped Cordelia and Xander reached for her hand and backed them down the hall to the basement door. He opened it and they went in with two cream blurs streaking by just before the door was shut.
Almost immediately worms started coming under the door. Cordelia and Xander start stomping on them; with Nimitz and Samantha trying to help. Unfortunately, the worms were too small for effective teeth or claw action and the ‘cats were too small for stomping them into paste like the humans.
Xander grabbed a broom and started sweeping the worms back under the door. “Find something to cover the crack under the door!”
“Uhh…” Cordelia looked around frantically and spotted a roll of duct tape near the door. She thought about making Xander use it, but swallowed hard and crouched down to put a length of the tape across the bottom of the door; trying as hard as she could to not actually touch any of the creepy little things while Xander swept the way clear ahead of the tape.
As soon as the worms were blocked Cordelia threw the roll of tape away from her and started scrubbing her hands on a scrap of towel she found. “Eww! Ick! Ugh!” Both the ‘cats and Xander were watching her with wide eyes. “What? That was gross!”
A short while later Cordelia was pacing the basement while Xander was sitting on the dryer. Nimitz and Samantha were sitting together on a shelf over his head. No more worms had made it into the basement, but they could still occasionally hear “Norman” slithering around trying to find a way in.
“Could you sit down, or change your pattern or something? You’re making me queasy.”
Cordelia veered over to the washer and leaned against it. “Because you’re just sitting there. We should be thinking up a plan.”
Xander sighed. “I have a plan. We wait. Buffy saves us.”
“How will she even know where to find us?”
“Cordelia, this is Buffy’s house. Odds are she’ll find us.”
“Well, what if she doesn’t? What are we supposed to do? Just waste away down here with you? Ha ha, no thank you!” She straightened up and headed for the stairs.
Xander got up and stood in her way. “What are you doin’?”
“Going to see if he’s gone!”
“That’s brilliant! What if he isn’t?”
“Oh right! You think we should just slack here and hope that somebody else decides to be a hero? Sorry, forgot I was stranded with a loser!” Cordelia leaned back against the washer and folded her arms. What was it about this annoying one that he could push her buttons so easily? She never acted this childish with anyone else! Well, not as much. Not anymore.
She pushed off the washer and headed for the stairs. “You know what? I’m going!” Xander just raised his eyebrows. At the foot of the stairs Cordelia whirled around and faced him. “I’d rather be worm food than look at your pathetic face!”
Xander crossed his arms, “then go, I’m not stopping ya!”
“I bet you wouldn’t! I bet you’d let a girl go off to her doom all by herself!” For some reason, she felt a little bit hurt that he wasn’t trying to talk her out of this.
“Not just any girl.” An annoying smirk appeared as he nodded. “You’re special.”
Nimitz and Samantha looked at each other and their tails twitched slightly.
“I can’t believe that I’m stuck spending what will probably be my last few moments on Earth here with you!”
Both ‘cats slowly stood up and flowed down from the shelf to the dryer.
“I HOPE these are my last few moments! Three more seconds with you and I’m gonna…”
A brief hop and they were on the floor, moving towards the humans; Nimitz angled behind Xander and Samantha edged behind Cordelia.
“’I’,m gonna’ what? Coward!”
“I hate you!”
“I hate YOU!”
The Treecats abruptly threw their weight against both humans’ knees. Xander and Cordelia stumbled at the same time into each others arms, and somehow their lips engaged in a mad, passionate kiss that seemed to go on and on and on.
Nimitz bleeked a laugh and moved back next to Samantha, watching the humans finally doing what they had been working up to for so long now.
THE END (for now…)
A/N: I know that I left a lot of loose ends, but there are vague plans for a sequel running around…I just had to get Xander and Cordelia together before I go off and try to finish some of my other projects!