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Thinking of Her

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This story is No. 2 in the series "The Trouble With Love". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: **SEQUEL TO DIRTY LITTLE SECRET** Sam thinks about her relationship with Buffy. **Femslash implied**

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Stargate > Buffy-Centered > Pairing: Samantha CartergigiFR1312,605083,41723 Mar 0823 Mar 08Yes
Disclaimer: Buffy and Stargate belong to people who are far richer than I.

Author's Notes: Upon the requests for more, I will be adding to Dirty Little Secret. However, it will probably be a series of short fics and not necessarily making an actual story. Also, even though this is classified as a sequel, I'm not sure you could actually call it that, but I hope you all enjoy it nonetheless.

Sam sat in her lab, frustratingly trying to work on a new piece of technology that they had found on one of their most recent missions. It was becoming increasingly difficult for her to concentrate because all of her thoughts kept coming back to Buffy. It had been two weeks since “that night.” Sam and Buffy were still together, but Sam noticed that her lover was becoming more and more emotionally distant with each passing night. Buffy would come over to see Sam after her patrols and they would do the coupley things. They would cuddle, watch movies, and make love, but Buffy was always gone before Sam woke up. She knew it was because Buffy was still disappointed with her and Sam didn't know what to say to make things back to how they were before this whole mess happened. Sam thought back to the first time they met.


Sam walked to her car in the empty parking lot. She had stopped at the late night diner to pick up some food. Little did she know that someone else was also out looking for a bite to eat.

“Well, well. What do we have here?” A stranger lurked out of the shadows and gave Sam a menacing grin, causing Sam to stop in her tracks. “A pretty thing like you shouldn't be out alone this late at night. Maybe you should've brought someone along for protection.” He leered at Sam, sending chills down her spine. Something about the man seemed off and it set Sam's warning bells off.

“I can take care of myself, thanks.” Sam gave him a polite smile. She discreetly made sure that her sidearm was still attached. Once she confirmed it was there, she continued to walk casually to her car, not wanting to give away anything.

“I don't believe I made the offer. If anything, it's me you need the protection from.” He said mockingly before walking towards Sam. Sam dropped everything in her hands and pulled out her sidearm.

“Stop! I don't want to shoot you!” Sam shouted. He stopped for a bit and merely laughed.

“Your bullets won't do you any good.” The man said cockily and his face shifted. His forehead gained bumps and his eyes turn yellow. Sam stepped back in surprise. She almost thought that he was a goa'uld because of his flashing eyes, but the fangs threw that theory out of the window. Plus Sam was pretty sure that they had defeated all of them a while back. If she didn't know better, she would think that it was a vampire. But vampires weren't real, were they? The man lunged towards Sam, causing her to pull the trigger. She released a full clip into the man, but he just kept shook it off and made a grab for her. Sam used her military training to try and fight him off, but he was too strong, more than anyone she had ever fought off.

“I'm growing tired of this nonsense. The more you struggle, the more painful it will be for you.” He brought his fangs to Sam's neck and sunk them into her throat. He drank hungrily. Sam felt herself becoming lightheaded.

“The same could be said for you.” Sam heard a feminine voice, but couldn't turn to look because the man's grip was too strong.

“Wha---Slayer!” The man said when he turned around. Then he was gone, and in his place was a blonde woman with beautiful green eyes.

“W-what just happened? Where did he go?” Sam asked shakily. It was almost as if he disappeared.

“Heh. He's dust.” Buffy gave Sam a small smile. “Sorry, I didn't get to you sooner. You were about to become a meal.” Buffy grimaced. She had just been finishing off her hunt for a demon in the area when she saw the vamp sucking the woman dry. If she had been just a few seconds later, the woman would have been dead.

“A meal? For who?” Sam asked groggily. She was still a bit lightheaded.

“That man that attacked you was a vampire. He was drinking your blood.” Buffy said bluntly. It was sort of hard to lie to the woman when she had just been bitten by her attacker who she had thought was a man. Somehow angry puppy didn't quite sound believable. Nor did gangs on PCP since it was just one man.

“Vampire? But vampires aren't real. They're just a myth that---” Sam stopped herself before she could completely refute the other woman's claims. Sam had long ago learned that anything was possible in her line of work. After all, weren't aliens supposed to be fiction? “Right. Vampires.” She repeated dazedly. It was a little hard to swallow, but Sam was slowly becoming a believer. The man did have fangs and he did take a nice bite out of her neck. It was kind of hard to deny that when there was blood trickling down her throat. “What happened to him?”

Buffy gestured to a small pile of dust. Sam's eyes widened in realization. When the woman said he was dust, she meant that literally. Sam laughed harshly. She felt a bit of hysteria bubble up inside of her. This was all just a little surreal.

Buffy noticed that the other woman was about to have a small panic attack and quickly went to reassure her. “Whoa! Let's get you out of here. You did lose a good amount of blood and you could still go into shock. How about we get you cleaned up and then some food? It looks like your dinner was ruined.” Buffy motioned to the spilled container on the ground. Sam nodded weakly and allowed Buffy to lead her back into the diner.

When they entered the diner, Buffy quickly ushered Sam into a booth and ordered her and Sam something to eat. As they waited, Buffy grabbed some napkins and pressed them against Sam's neck. As her fingers gently touched the wound, Buffy felt a small tingle run through her body. "Looks like you'll be okay, even with the blood loss. With some food and a lot of water, you should feel much better. She gave Sam a glass of water to drink, which Sam swallowed gratefully. When she was done, she gave Buffy a thankful smile.

“By the way, I'm Samantha. Thank you for rescuing me.” Sam said softly. She had gotten over her little bout with hysteria and was now watching her rescuer, taking in the small, but athletic frame. She surprisingly found herself being slightly attracted to the other woman.

Buffy gave her a warm smile. “You're welcome. I'm Buffy.” Sam's eyebrows rose. She, a well-trained officer of the United States Air Force, was just rescued by a petite woman named Buffy, who could easily pass for a cheerleader. Talk about irony. Sam's lips twisted in a wry smile.

Buffy caught Sam's look and grinned. She wasn't new to other people's reactions to the combination of seeing her looks and hearing her name. Before it would have bothered her, but now it was sort of amusing. “I know, I know. I honestly think my mom was a flower child. How else would you come up with a name like Buffy?”

“Beats me. I like it though. Besides, I'm sure it could have been worse.” Sam smiled. Buffy gave her a mock scowl.

“Hey!” She pouted before giving Sam another smile. She found herself admiring the other woman. Sam was very pretty with her short, blonde hair and blue eyes. She was also much taller than Buffy and had a nicely toned body. Buffy's eyes narrowed at the thought. Nicely toned body? When did she start checking out other women's bodies and not in a purely aesthetic kind of way.

“So Buffy, how is it that you know how to kill vampires?” Sam questioned.

Buffy shifted uncomfortably in her seat before giving Sam an answer. Something about Sam made Buffy feel compelled to keep things honest. “It's my life.” She said simply, not giving anything away, but not lying either.

Sam frowned at the vague answer, her naturally inquisitive mind refused to accept that as an answer. “How so?” She asked persistently.

“In my old town, it was either fight or become food.” Buffy said bluntly.

“Why didn't anyone do anything about it?” Sam wondered. Buffy gave her a small smile.

“People have a way of rationalizing the weird things in life. They make up excuses for the stuff that they can't explain and know that no one else will believe them. Gangs on PCP was a common excuse in Sunnydale.”

“Oh.” That actually made sense to Sam. She had seen it happen before in her own job, not to mention the people who believed in their false gods, refusing to see the truth. “Can I ask you something else?”

“Alright, shoot.”

“The vampire called you, Slayer. What did he mean by that?” Sam asked curiously. It was an interesting name to go by.

Buffy sighed. She had hoped that Sam wouldn't have picked up on that. That would have been too easy though. And Buffy's life could never ever be considered to be even remotely easy. At this point, Buffy didn't really see the point of trying to cover that up. Sam had already called her on it. Lying would just make things worse. Buffy looked directly into Sam's eyes and found herself drowning in them.

“Buffy?” Sam looked at Buffy with concern.

“Huh?” Buffy shook herself out of her little reverie. “Oh right. He called me Slayer because that's what I am. A Vampire Slayer. One girl in all the world chosen to fight against the forces of darkness. Well, not so much one girl anymore, but that is another story.”

“How were you chosen?” Sam inquired.

“A long time ago, a bunch of men created the slayer. When she died, the essence passed on to another. That's how it goes. When one dies, another is called. It's all some sort of mystical process that no one really knows how to explain. There is no choice in the matter. When I was fifteen, I was the lucky lottery winner.” Buffy gave Sam a bitter smile.

“Fifteen? But you were only a child? How were you supposed to fight vampires?” Sam cried out. She felt outraged on Buffy's behalf. A part of her didn't like that Buffy had lived such a dangerous life at such an early time in her life.

“That's what I kept telling myself until I learned to accept my fate. But that didn't come until years later. As the Slayer, I get superhuman senses, speed, strength, and I heal faster than normal humans.” Sam looked at her in disbelief. “It's true. How else would I be able to fight the vampires and other demons? You did notice how strong he was, didn't you?” Sam nodded. Then she frowned.

“Wait. Other demons? There's more than just vampires?” She asked incredulously. "Sorry, this is all just too hard to believe."

Buffy laughed at Sam's shock. "Sam, there's a whole world full of the supernatural out there. Now before I go spilling all of my secrets, there are a few things I want to know. First, why were you carrying a gun? Are you a cop?" Buffy gave Sam a frown. She didn't care much for guns.

Sam felt like she was a naughty child being scolded by a concerned parent which was sort of funny because she was certain that she was several years older than Buffy. "Uh...close. I'm actually a Lieutenant Colonel in the United States Air Force. I work in Cheyenne Mountain." Buffy's frown grew deeper.

"You're in the military?" Sam thought Buffy actually sounded disappointed. That was kind of an odd response. "What do you do there?" Buffy asked suspiciously.

"I'm also a scientist. I'm currently assigned to a project involving Deep Space Radar Telemetry." Sam replied.

"Sounds...interesting." Buffy feigned interest.

"Oh it is." Sam said with false excitement. She went on to explain what it all meant, very animatedly. Buffy's eyes began to glaze over. A part of it was because all that science speak went right over her head, but another part found herself mesmerized Sam's enthusiasm. It was sort of endearing and sexy at the same time. Buffy felt the heat rise in her body.

"Buffy?" Buffy snapped out of it and saw Sam waving her hand in front of her face. She reddened. This was becoming sort of embarrassing.

"Sorry." She said sheepishly.

"No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bore you." Sam was sort of used to her explanations being ignored. When he was a part of SG-1, General O'Neill never had the patience to even pretend to listen. Sam had to admit that sometimes it hurt her feelings when she was blatantly dismissed by him, but she would never say it out loud.

"It's not that, really. Well, I'll admit that I didn't understand one word you said, but that wasn't why I was spacing out." Buffy explained, needing to reassure her for some unknown reason.

"Really?" Sam asked in slight disbelief.

"The real reason was because I found myself noticing how much you enjoy your work. It's a rare quality. I thought it was cute." Buffy winked causing Sam to blush lightly. Sam felt a small hint of desire rush through her.

"Cute?" Sam asked curiously. Buffy leaned forward and placed her lips close to Sam's ear, making Sam shiver. "Yea, and very sexy." She purred.

"Oh." Sam squeaked.

**End Flashback**

Sam smiled at the memory. They had ended up talking for hours, with Sam finding out exactly how Buffy came across her being attacked. She had been sort of disappointed to find out that Buffy lived in Scotland, but ultimately decided that maybe it was for the best. They didn't even realize that they had been there long until the diner was ready to close up. Then Buffy insisted on walking Sam back to her car before sealing the night with a very intense kiss. They exchanged numbers, Buffy promising to call her the next day. From there, they began to form a relationship. Things had been much simpler when her and Buffy were first starting out. The first few months, like any other couple, was the honeymoon stage. Now that their relationship was more serious, the rose-colored view was turning into several distinct shades of gray.

Sam was brought out of her musings when she heard her phone ring. She picked up the receiver wondering who was calling.

"Carter." She answered.

"Uh...Is this Samantha Carter?" A male voice asked.

"Yes. How may I help you?" Sam asked curiously.

"We've never met, but my name is Xander Harris. I'm a friend of Buffy's." He said.

"Buffy?" That got Sam's attention right away. "What about her?"

"As you know, Buffy's job is very dangerous and sometimes---" Xander began to explain, but Sam cut him off.

"Yes, yes. I know this. What's wrong?"

"Look, I'm only calling because I think you deserve to know. If it were me, I would want to know." Xander said somewhat sadly.

"Please, just tell me what happened." Sam pleaded. Sam's heart stopped at what he had to say next.

"During a mission, Buffy was injured badly. The doctors don't know if she's going to make it."

I know, I know. I'm really hating myself right now for doing this. **holds both hands up in self defense** Please don't throw rocks, but please review and let me know what you all thought.

The End

You have reached the end of "Thinking of Her". This story is complete.

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