Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.
Author notes: Another of Dark Knight's challenges. Pick names from hat to be a character's lovers, make a story out of it with characters in order. Last Willow chapter. In order, characters I picked were Drusilla, Faith, Tru Davies from Tru Calling, Missy Pantone from Bring it On, and Kennedy.
Some people seem to have a certain “type” of person they’re attracted to… long legs, big boobs, blondes, redheads, whatever. Not too many with the redheads, unfortunately… and I don’t have most of the other “type” stuff either. I never really thought that I had a type preference myself, but now that I think back on it, I guess I sorta do, even if it’s just an unconscious thing and not a oh-I’ll-only-date-people-who-look-exactly-like-that thing. Because I wouldn’t do that, because it’s mean and exclusive and just not me. But in a way I have anyway though…
Brunettes. The only girls I’ve ever been with have been brunettes. Well except Tara- but, but even Tara was sorta brunette. Kinda dirty blonde- so that kinda counts too. But even if you don’t count Tara- which I definitely, most definitely do- there’s still the fact that all five other women were brunette. And that has GOT to mean something.
I’m a hair color racist, and I didn’t even know it. But I can’t help it! I didn’t even know! What am I supposed to do about it, have a one night stand with a blonde so I can break myself of it?
Well, there’s always Buffy I guess. I mean, after slaying she always gets so tense, and I don’t think she’s quite as straight-girl as she says. And what are friends for after all…
Oh no, oh ewww! Wrong thought, no! I do not want to have sex with Buffy, she’s my FRIEND!
Or am I really just racist against her because of her hair color? Am I racist against my own best friend?
Oh no. Of course not.
What if I am though?
I didn’t even really KNOW I was gay through the first four brunettes. Well I KNEW, but I DIDN’T know, you know? I had that in-the-closet-denial thing going pretty strong. Really, REALLY strong. I mean, the first girl I made out with was Drusilla… yeah, I know, I know, make faces at me and hold up a cross and holy water. But see, that one wasn’t even my choice. Well it was, but it wasn’t. But I didn’t like it! Well actually I did, even if it was pretty scary and I was pretty sure I was going to wet my pants. Or die. Or, for maximum badness, both. But even with all that going on, I did like it, and I kinda wanted to keep doing it…
See, at the time I was kinda alone in a cemetery and Buffy was busy beating up the undead a little ways away, and I saw Drusilla. But I did some real quick thinking and pretended I was Vampire Willow. And Vampire Willow is kinda gay, so I kissed her. To, to fool her. Plus, you know, I was kinda curious what it’s like to kiss someone who’s dead. Because Buffy did it all the time… and Drusilla’s kind of pretty, even if she’s scary and crazy and wants to suck out all my blood. So I was kissing her and trying to make sexy moans… and then Buffy came running up and scared her off. I said all the kissing must have been prelude to blood sucking… but, but I was lying, because I was the one doing the kissing. Just to trick her, of course… well that’s what I SAID, but I don’t think it was really true. I mean, I knew Drusilla would feel my heartbeat and smell that I was alive when she was kissing me… but I did it anyway. I knew she might try to kill me… but I did it anyway.
Wow… was I subconsciously okay with dying as long as I could kiss Drusilla first? Is my subconscious trying to kill me?
I think it is. It must hate me. Because the next brunette girl I made out with could have killed me too. You remember how Faith got all evil a while with the mayor and killed people and kidnapped me and threatened to kill me? Held a knife to my throat and everything? Yep, I kissed her too. While I was being held hostage. And it
wasn’t even because she was making me, with a knife at my throat. And I liked it too…
I told myself that it was to soften her up, distract her, so maybe she would let me go, or at least not hurt me. But was it really necessary to become very familiar with the inside of Faith’s mouth and the exact feel of her back and shoulders and stomach and boobs and thighs to distract her? After my tough-girl talk, couldn’t I have tried being nice and sweet instead of totally hooking up with her?! Of course I could have- but nope, that wasn’t what I did. Or wanted to do. Besides, I can’t deny that I thought about it and wanted it way before I tried to use it as a bargaining chip. If you’ve ever seen Faith dance in those tight pants and lowcut tops, ever watched her pummel vampire butt and then turn and smirk at you without missing a beat, making some sarcastic comment… well, maybe you WOULDN’T understand, but just trust me on this one. Well, I don’t know, maybe you SHOULDN’T trust me since I seem to have a problem with making out with evil brunette women and then hiding it. You’re not an evil brunette, are you? Because maybe you should stay away from me if you are…
Hey, maybe that’s it… maybe it’s not just brunette women I have a thing for, but EVIL brunette women. Oh great, so I’m not only a hair color racist, but I also have deep evil issues to work through.
No, no, Tru wasn’t evil, or Missy either, as far as I know. Kennedy, now that’s debatable… just kidding, don’t tell her I said that! I met Tru in a bar right after I’d broken up with Oz… or rather, after Oz had broken up with me. Right away I noticed her, dancing with a friend… and for a second, I thought she was Faith. They kind of look similar if you’re not looking too closely, or if you’ve had a few tequilas. Maybe that was the only reason we ended up leaving the place together for her apartment, because of the tequilas… or maybe Tru just reminded me of Faith, and I still had our hook-up lingering in my mind. Whatever the case, I woke up in Tru’s bed the next day with a major hangover and a big, big guilt and panic.
Not enough that I didn’t go out and do the same thing all over again the very next night though… another girl who sorta reminded me of Faith, this one a girl called Missy. Maybe it’s more that I have a thing for Faith than for evil brunettes… maybe she made more of an impact on me than I thought. It WAS really nice, touching her, feeling her touch and kiss me back…
Sometimes I wonder if she does that in prison with other women. Sometimes I even am kinda jealous thinking of it…
NO I don’t! Stop it brain, stop!
Somehow though, even after all four of those women, I managed to keep myself from admitting that I was REALLY attracted to any of them, that I was REALLY a lesbian. Like I said, I played it all off as devious plots and drunken mistakes- nothing I WANTED to do, nothing I enjoyed.
Lies. Willow Rosenberg was a big fat liar.
I’m with Kennedy now, brunette #5, 6 if you count Tara, who was the first I loved enough to stop all the denials… mostly. I haven’t told Kennedy my brunette theory yet. I have a feeling that if I did, she’d go blonde, just to spite me. Not that that would work, of course.
Or would it? Would I still be attracted to her?
I better not tell Buffy either. She might get freaked and think I’m lusting after Dawn or something. And it’s not cool to lust after your friend’s little sister.
Wait a minute… I don’t, right? Of course I don’t! Not little Dawnie, I would NEVER!