Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.
Author notes: Another of Dark Knight's challenges. Pick names from hat to be a character's lovers, make a story out of it with characters in order. Last Buffy chapter. In order, characters I picked were Sidney Prescott from Scream, Faith, Missy Pantone from Bring it on, Gale Weathers from Scream, and Spike. If I didn't get her Spike relationship right, know it's because I've never seen those episodes.
Okay, okay… so when Willow finally told me she was gay, I wasn’t nearly as shocked as I acted. I know you wouldn’t think so based on my “Me? Gay? No way!” bluster all the time… but honestly, I had Will beat to the bisexuality game before she even knew me. It’s not that I thought it was wrong anything, or that being gay or bisexual is bad- for OTHER people. For me, now that’s a different story. I’m just not LIKE that. Well I am, but I’m not supposed to be. I’m SUPPOSED to be straight. Very, very straight.
What it is, is I was scared. I still am, actually, because as of now no one else knows. Except the women I slept with… and hopefully they are afraid enough of me and the damage I could inflict upon them to keep their mouths shut. Okay, I know, I’m a bully and a hypocrite… but what am I SUPPOSED to do? Be HONEST?
Okay, maybe I should. But I don’t wanna…
The first girl, I thought maybe it was a fluke. I mean, I was so young, just a freshman in high school, girls are weird and hormone-wacked at that age. I thought it was just a one-time thing- even at the time I thought it was a one-time thing. Her name was Sidney Prescott, and we met at the beach. She didn’t live too far from me, even though we didn’t go to the same school, and that made it much easier for us to sneak around and hide it from everyone. I think my paranoia was what broke us up more than anything; even though Mom and Dad never even met Sid, I was petrified that they’d find out who I’d been sneaking off to see, and why. Last thing I heard about Sidney was that her mom had died a year ago after we broke up. Actually, her mom was murdered. And then Sidney herself apparently survived multiple massacres all intended to kill her specifically. I don’t know, maybe the girl has superpowers herself; she might be a potential Slayer or something.
Just when I’d fully settled myself back into Straightsville again though… here comes Faith, blowing all intentions of a no-girl-lusting life straight into the pits of Hellmouth. Let’s just say that Faith blew Sidney out of the water as far as temptations go. ANY temptations… including straight ones. Including Angel.
Do you know how hard it was for me to be around her every day, so freakin’ attracted to her, taking out with her the slaying hornies I continued to deny existed in me, without throwing all self-control and common sense and decency to the wind and just flinging myself at her in front of everyone? That was all I could think about around her. It was so bad that I had to almost force myself to be constantly angry and annoyed with her, just so I could look at her without bursting.
Faith was absolutely no help, of course. SHE didn’t care who knew or saw, and she certainly didn’t care how much it would hurt Angel if he knew. She went out of her way to drop hints and implications obvious only to me, to give me these looks and touches and jabs that were somehow amused, gleeful, antagonizing, and possessive. She never did tell anyone what was going on with us, as far as I know- but neither did she try to be very discreet.
I think that deep down, I knew what happened with her and the mayor was as much my fault as hers. I would have denied it until I was blue in the face- and I did, a LOT- but that was more from guilt and self-righteous anger than true belief in my own words. Had I been able to give her what she wanted and needed, to love her and be open about what we were doing instead of hiding and sneaking and acting like I was ashamed to be with her, than she probably wouldn’t have felt so angry and hurt and betrayed. However, her turning on me and trying to kill everyone was way, way out of line. Talk about someone needing to work on self-control. I think Faith had me beat there.
The next girl- I would never have admitted it at the time, but I know now that she was probably someone I was with as a direct rebound from Faith. For one thing, she bore a suspicious resemblance to her. For another, she was exactly Faith’s age and shared more than a little of her attitude. Her name was Missy Pantone, and I dated her- well, had a clandestine affair with her- the summer after we blew up the high school. Again, different high schools made it all too easy to hide.
Oh, but this last affair, this is the one that really makes me cringe… the one that, if anyone EVER finds out, I will be dead. Literally. Hopefully I will first have the opportunity to make sure the little twit goes out with me.
Her name was Gale Weathers, and she was a cheesy tabloid reporter from the area. One night she just “happened” to be along with her camera while I was slaying… she threatened exposure, so to keep her story quiet, I did what I had to do. Wich was to have a one-night stand with her, and threaten HER with exposure if she breathed a word or bugged me again. Not to mention several broken body parts. God, that was one “fling” I didn’t even get guilt lust pleasure out of in the slightest. She was like 35 and practically a piranha. All I can say is maybe it was a good thing I had all this secret lesbian experience so I could fantasize a little during it…
For now, I’m with Spike. I could make a crack now about that being lesbian experience #5, but I’m not feeling too witty at the moment. More like anxious. Yeah, I have a thing going with Spike… but I don’t love him. I never did, never will. And honestly… I don’t enjoy doing things with him nearly as much as with some of the girls I’ve been with. Wow, that would SO kill his ego if I told him that…
Honestly, I still don’t think of myself as bisexual. All that stuff, it was kind of accidents. Really. No way am I looking for women to be with.
Still… if Faith came along while Spike and I were having sex and casually joined in… I’m not sure I’d have such a problem with that…