Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer, I do not own Numb3rs. I am making no money from this.
A/N: This is just a crazy idea I had. Hope you have fun reading.
FFA non-romantic pairing: Buffybot/Charlie Eppes.
Buffybot was quite confused over how she’d gotten from Sunnydale to Los Angeles. The last thing she had recorded was the fun rope game the bikers had played with her. That had left her all broken though, and she’d had to shut down. Dawn had looked very upset. That wasn’t right. She needed to find her and make sure Other-Buffy was taking care of her. Dawn was her Sister and she Loved her.
When she had woken up she was in a very small room. There was a young male human fiddling with her processor. He had jumped back when she sat up. She had thanked him for repairing her and asked where her Spike was. It was not within the limits of her programming to understand why he had yelped and run away. But Buffybot was not concerned about that. It wasn’t in her programming either.
She had left the room and asked the nice people where Spike was. None of them knew, but they told her she was in L.A., and one of them had told her to leave and that she was a crazy bitch. That meant Spike must be outside somewhere. She had said goodbye to the people and found her way to a door. It was very difficult to open, and had made a loud noise when its hinges had popped off.
It was very pretty outside, and there were lots of people walking with bags. Three of the people were coming towards her on the path. Maybe they knew where Spike and Dawn were. She grinned broadly as they stopped in front of her.
“Uhm, hi,” the male in the middle said. He had dark curly hair and was wearing a suit. Buffybot decided he must be very smart. Smart people wore suits, though they usually had glasses too.
“Hi! I’m Buffy,” Buffybot said. When they continued to look confused, she decided she must not have been specific enough. After all, there was Other-Buffy, and they looked a lot alike. So, remembering her previous conversations she tried to clarify, “I’m a crazy bitch.”
“Charlie…” the only female of the three said. Buffybot tried to decipher which of the two males the female was talking to. She glowered for a moment when she found it was not in her capabilities, but grinned again when the male with the dark curly hair answered the female. His name was Charlie.
“I know,” he said to the female. He was being very quiet, but Buffybot had very good sensors and picked up the audio input.
“You know what?” She asked, curious.
“Nothing!” Charlie said quickly, then backtracked, “I mean, I know lots of things, but, but…we really have to be going, so it was nice meeting you-.”
Buffybot grabbed his hand. “You can’t go now, you’re very smart.”
“Yes, I am, but,” Charlie tried to pull away. Buffybot had to tighten her grip to keep him from going away. Nobody else had helped her, and she was starting to run low on power. She needed to take him with her while she found an outlet. Charlie was being very uncooperative, scrunching up his face and falling to his knees like that.
“Charlie!” the female was being loud now. The other male with lighter colored hair was trying to lift Buffybot’s fingers off of Charlie’s hand.
“Please let me go,” Charlie asked her. Buffybot thought about it. He looked very upset, but if she didn’t take him with her how would she find him again?
“No, I you’ll help me find Dawn and my Spike. You’re very smart, even though you don’t have glasses,” She began walking down the path, pulling Charlie behind her. She stopped after only a few steps. Charlie kept pulling on her arm and trying to trip her. That would slow her down too much; she might not find a power source in time, and the arm she was pulling him by was feeling loose.
“Help!” Now Charlie was being loud. She swung him up over her shoulder. That was much better, now he couldn’t trip her up.
Lots of people were looking at her now. Buffybot knew she was very pretty, but people didn’t stare at her like this in Sunnydale. A few were taking out cell phones, and Buffybot noticed others were getting very close. That wasn’t right. They would get in her way.
She ran through one of the gaps in the group that had surrounded her and was slowly closing in. She could run very fast, faster than any of them.
Charlie kept saying, “Please, please, please, please” over and over again as she ran down the street.
She knew all the power outlets would be inside, so once she judged they were far enough away she slowed down. Spotting another door, she walked up to it and knocked three times to be polite. After exactly sixty seconds and no one had answered she twisted the handle.
This door was difficult to open too. It made a noise and a large crack formed around the knob when she managed to get it open. She walked inside with Charlie still over her shoulder. He was breathing louder than normal for a human. She hoped she hadn’t damaged him, humans were awfully fragile. She set him down in a corner. He didn’t look damaged, but she couldn’t see all of him since he pulled his knees to his chest.
“Stay there,” Buffybot told him, “I must find power, and then you will help me find Dawn and my Spike.”
“Why are you doing this?” Charlie asked her.
This was very confusing for her. She had just told him why. Maybe he just hadn’t heard her.
“I need to find Dawn and my Spike,” she reiterated. She peered around the room. It had chairs and a table and – Buffybot grinned – a TV.
“Why do you need me?” Charlie asked, as he pulled out a cell phone and began pressing buttons. Buffybot wondered who he was calling. Probably his family, he needed to tell them he was going to be late.
She picked up the TV, in the process pulling out its’ plug. “You are very smart, like Willow. You can find where Dawn and my Spike are.”
Buffybot pulled off her shirt and attempted to open the section of her back where her plug and cord were. Her Spike had asked for that part himself when he had warren make her. He was rough, and sexy, and smart, but didn’t like fiddling with “bloody bits of wire” to power her up.
The arm she’d used to pull Charlie was malfunctioning, and she couldn’t lift it high enough to reach the spot she needed to press to open the section. Charlie stopped speaking quietly and rapidly into his phone, instead choosing to stare as she sat down in front of him, her top bare except for a very risqué bra.
“I require service,” she told him. She watched interested as his face flushed red, then white. His hands were shaking and he scooted away as far as the walls allowed, which wasn’t a lot.
“I, I don’t…ah…”
Fortunately, it was within Buffybot’s programming to understand what this meant.
He must not have the knowledge to service her. That was alright, her Spike didn’t know how to service her either. She would need to find Willow then, too. Willow would know how. Willow was her best friend. She was gay.
“You cannot repair me,” Buffybot stated. Charlie looked at her blankly. He blinked several times and lowered his arms from around his knees. Buffybot wondered what was wrong with his eyes, but he looked much less upset now, so she wasn’t concerned.
“What? Repair you?” She heard him say as she turned around and sat with her back to him.
She undid her bra and her sensors picked up the sound a shaky intake of breath from behind her, “please press down on the upper right of my back, one inch below the top of the shoulder.”
She waited for exactly sixty seconds before repeating her request. Ten seconds and twenty milliseconds later she sensed pressure on her back, half an inch to the left of the correct release point.
“Please press down half an inch to the right of the spot you have just pressed.”
There was a gasp from behind her as fissures appeared on the skin of her back, tracing the form of the section door. It swung open automatically.
“You’re a robot!”
Buffybot twisted her head to look at Charlie, and grinned brightly. He was as smart as Willow!
She wondered if he was gay.
Read and Review. Completed for now, though I plan on adding more. Suggestions are welcome!