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Shepherding Faith

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Summary: Faith is never black and white it's Grey. A Faith's real family story inspired by Kristal's "Please Save Her." Nominated for a COA 2008!

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > Grey's AnatomyStephanieClareFR15511,7867469,79830 Mar 0827 Jun 10No


Title: Shepherding Faith

Rating: FR15 to be on the safe side and for possible content in future chapters

Theme: Faith’s real family

Authors Note & Disclaimer:
This story was inspired by Kristal’s “Please. Save her.” This story was produced with permission from Kristal. I have also taken the liberty of borrowing Characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Grey’s Anatomy. I do not own any of the characters portrayed here and I promise to put them back as soon as I’m finished playing. I also borrowed information on Faith’s background from the Robert Joseph Levy novel “Go Ask Malice: A Slayer’s diary” Many thanks owed to my friend and Beta Autumnsoul who encouraged me to finally post this.

Please leave a review; I could definitely use some constructive criticism to help me form the rest of this story.


It was so easy for the casual observer to accept that Addison and Derek’s marriage had shattered when he had walked in on her sleeping with their best friend, on Derek’s favourite sheets. It was convenient to say that Derek had moved to Seattle Grace to live in a caravan on an empty block of land because his wife had betrayed him. For the people that didn’t know the truth it was effortless to judge Addison when she followed him, and simple to assume that Derek’s thing for Ferry Boats was just a thing. The truth, however, is never what it seems.

Their marriage had disintegrated before their eyes nearly a full 18 months before Addison had slept with Mark. If you asked Addison, she could tell you the exact moment when their perfect lives had first cracked and exactly how many months, weeks, days and hours had past since that hollow feeling had wrapped itself around her insides and settled in. Addison knew exactly how long it had been since she had come home from a 36 hour shift to an empty house.

It was the silence she noticed first, no muffled music coming from under the door on the second floor, no TV left playing, no staccato of computer keys. The hubbub of New York seeped into the house, sirens and yelling in the distance amongst the traffic, but still the house was silent. Throwing her keys on the kitchen counter and making her way to the bottom of the stairs, Addison’s low heels clacked on the wooden floor. The noise echoing through the eerie silence…and then the heels were crunching onto the shattered glass lying smashed beneath the window ledge.

Taking the stairs at a run screaming for Faith the whole way, Addison threw open doors as she went, praying that the smashed window was just a freak accident. Begging an unknown deity that the silence that resonated through the house after each hoarse cry was just because Faith was sleeping or had gone to a friend’s house but deep down she knew better. When she reached the door to Faith’s room, she collapsed to the floor staring wide eyed at the disaster zone. Faith’s computer and TV had been smashed and now lay on the floor and amongst the debris was a substance that Addison was very familiar with.


Far too much blood.


Surprising herself, Addison squared her shoulders and stood, hand pressed against the wall for support she returned down stairs. Her insides were cold and empty, Addison’s whole body felt too heavy, almost like she was moving in slow motion. Calmly she picked up her hand bag from where it had fallen unnoticed at the bottom of the stair case. Withdrawing her cell, Addison dialed her husband’s work number. Knowing he was in surgery, she spoke to one of the nurses, her voice not cracking once, as she informed the nurse to page her husband… To get Derek out of surgery and to get him home. The nurse’s attempt to reason with Addison was met with steady beeping, Addison had already hung up.

Having stoically dialed 911, Addison’s mind began to wander and she stopped listening to the operator asking about her daughter, instead clutching the cell to her chest all she could think about was the first time she had laid eyes on Faith.

Entering the ICU for a consult, Addison Shepherd was greeted by the sight of a young teenager, struggling with two nurses who were trying to persuade her to get back into bed. The girl’s brunette hair fell past her shoulders in ragged knots and behind her bangs her eyes flashed with rage and defiance. Ripping the IV from her own arm the young girl started throwing anything within her reach, flailing and kicking wildly. Addison had observed with calculating eyes that the girl held herself stiffly as though in pain and winced with every movement before the girls gaze swiveled to her, and even though one of her eyes was bruised and almost swollen shut, their eyes locked. Throwing the last of the ammunition within her reach the girl screamed,
“Get the fuck away from me I’m 5 by 5”.
All of this had occurred in the space of just a few short seconds. Addison, suddenly snapping out of her shock picked up a needle and quickly loaded up the sedative, moving forward while the nurses distracted the teen, before deftly inserting the needle into the girls arm with a practiced ease. Turning violently towards her, the brunette had slapped her before slumping into unconsciousness, the word “bitch” dying on her pale lips.

It took Derek a few months to realize that finding his wife in bed with the now aptly named McSteamy might have been the final straw, but that in truth, he had already been considering leaving. The paths to constructive communication had all but completely closed between himself and Addy and the constant pain of each blaming the other for their loss almost as much as they blamed themselves took its toll. They should have been there, they could have protected her, if she was ok it was their fault she hadn’t called, if she wasn’t ok it was their fault they hadn’t done enough to protect her like they had promised to years ago when they had adopted her. Every time his pager went off, every time he opened the door or the phone rang or he saw a brunette head in the distance he felt hope balloon inside of him. New York was filled with so much pain for him and he knew Addy was feeling that same pain. He didn’t think either of them knew why it was that they couldn’t share the pain; why they had to fight at every turn, argue about the things that didn’t matter, he guessed it was the guilt.

Knowing so little about their daughter had shocked both Addison and Derek and they could feel the judgment in the eyes of the officer’s questioning them, both being surgeons seemed like a poor excuse to both of them. Especially when all they could really answer was that Faith’s best friend was Tommy (last name unknown) and that she liked a band called ‘Freak Wharf’. Detectives Eames and Goran had searched Faiths room and the rest of the house. Officers had been coming and going from the house all day and in the early afternoon more questions came, scaring them even further. Did you know she has been missing a lot of school lately? Can you think of any reason why she might have run away?

If you weren’t a casual observer, if you knew the pain that they carried then you knew that it was not his wife cheating on him that made Derek move to Seattle. It was watching his world shatter, and not being able to find one of the pieces to put it back together with.

To be continued... (Review Please)
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