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Your Lady Parts and How To Protect Them

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Summary: Dawn and Buffy pay a visit to the doctor's office.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
BtVS/AtS Non-Crossover > Comedy > Dawn-CenteredStreetsofFireFR151471041,7161 Apr 081 Apr 08No
Disclaimer: I solemnly swear that I own none of the characters or places talked about in this or subsequent stories. They belong solely to their respective creators and whatever soul sucking corporate faction gets all the money.

The only good part about this doctor’s visit was how uncomfortable Buffy looked sitting in her gynecologist’s nondescript office. Clinical gray-green walls, scratchy waiting room chairs, dog-eared magazines and pamphlets fanned out on battered fake wood end tables.

“Gross, Buffs, check it out.” Dawn pointed at an illustration in a pamphlet. “I get you don’t want to get pregnant or whatever, but why would you shove a sponge up there.”

Buffy blushed and looked away. “Dawnie, put that away. That’s just gross.”

Dawn grinned and scanned the stack for something even more awkwardness inducing. She was contemplating one called titled ‘Your Lady Parts and How To Protect Them’ when a nurse poked her head in.

“Dawn Summers? Dr. Lane is ready for you.”

Both girls got up and followed the nurse, Buffy with a noticeable grimace trudged behind her younger sister. The nurse directed them into an office down the hall. Inside was a woman sitting at a desk with a noticeably overly tightened face.

“Dawn?” said the woman, standing as the two entered, “I’m Dr.Lane. It’s so nice to meet you finally.” She took Dawn’s hand in both her own and gripped it tightly for just a little bit too long. Dawn shot Buffy an alarmed look and sat down next to her sister. “So! I heard that our girl Dawn is thinking about girding her uterus.”

“Uhh… what?” Buffy leaned forward. Demons, vampires, day before Christmas at the mall, all that she could handle. This…not so much.

“Close up shop! Fold the baby making business! Turn off the-”

“Yeah, I want to go on the pill. I’ve pretty much decided.” Even Dawn couldn’t stand it anymore.

“And I would like Dawn to seriously consider what that entails,” Buffy did her best motherly gesture, giving the chipper doctor across her a pointed look.

“And I would like Buffy to seriously consider the fact that I won’t be getting the pre-menstrual crazies anymore and I won’t get all babyfied when I go to college.”

The doctor pressed her hands together and squinted at the sisters. “I’m sorry, Buffy, was it?”


“How are you related to Dawn exactly?”

“She’s my little sister.”

“Ah…the beautiful bonds of sisterhood.” She looked wistfully up at the ceiling. “Anyway…if Dawn’s sure, it is, of course, her body. I can write a prescription up toot sweet.”

“Yes. I’m like a billion percent sure.”

“Thank you,” Buffy said as the woman scrawled out the prescription. She handed it to Dawn, who squealed a little before folding it and dropping it in her purse.

Once they were safely outside in the California sun, Buffy slung a protective arm around her little sister. “Guess that wasn’t so bad after all.”

Dawn frowned.

Maybe she’d get Spike to pick up the prescription for her.

The End?

You have reached the end of "Your Lady Parts and How To Protect Them" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 1 Apr 08.

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