Emotions And Fears
~ Daniel ~
Wait! What’s wrong with me? We’re having an earthquake and all I’m thinking is that Sam’s girlfriend is pregnant. God! Focus! “We have to get her to safety,” I say to no one in particular as a vase smashes on the floor next to me.
The quake is getting worse. Pictures on the wall and mantle are falling. Cracks are appearing on the ceiling above us. I don’t know where this would rate on the Richter Scale but, if it keeps building momentum like this, the roof is going to fall in.
“Sam, we have to get out of here,” I say again.
None of Willow’s friends move, nor does Sam. They’re all huddled near the redhead, speaking calming and soothing words as the room shakes around them.
In fact… None of them are even paying attention to the earthquake. I look back to Jack, hoping he could talk some sense into everyone, but Jacob is talking quietly to him. What is wrong with everyone? I take a step towards them. “Sam, we should – ”
“Everyone, move away from Willow!” Giles interrupts me, speaking with authority. “Give her some space.”
Everyone with the exception of Sam moves.
Giles kneels directly in front of Willow and looks up at our former team member. “Samantha,” he says with a familiarity that reminds me, again, of how much we’ve missed out on Sam’s life. “I need for you to let go of Willow, just for a moment.”
The anguish on Sam’s face compels me to go to her but, before I can reach her, Dawn Summers is there. Her arms go around Sam and she gently moves her away from her lover. “Come on, Sam. Giles knows what he’s doing. He can help her.”
“Help her? It’s an earthquake! Shouldn’t we be getting her to safety?” I demand, confused. I know I’m sounding like a broken record, but no one is listening! I can’t understand it.
Willow’s pregnant. There’s an Earthquake. What we should be doing right now shouldn’t be so hard to grasp!
“No,” Sam stuns me by answering.
Excuse me? “Why not?”
Sam doesn’t answer, instead her eyes are firmly fixed on Giles who is whispering quietly to Willow. Whatever he’s telling her; she doesn’t like it. She’s shaking her head furiously, crying. The quake seems to intensify as her emotions escalate, as though it’s directly related to her emotions and fears.
“Willow…” Giles takes both of her hands in his. “Willow, you need to calm down.”
She continues to shake her head and jumps as glass shatters behind her. “I can’t, Giles… They know I’m…they…”
“They know you’re different,” he says gently. “Yes, I’m aware of that.”
I frown at the sudden reminder of Willow’s words a few minutes ago. How is she different? In what way?
“The baby… They’ll take it away… Take Sam away.” Willow’s sobbing makes it difficult for me to understand her. But when the words finally sink in, I’m stunned. I don’t understand. What is she talking about? Who will take Sam and the baby away? I watch as her eyes go to Jack and Jacob and my heart freezes.
Is she talking about them?
Why would they want to take the baby from Willow? I open my mouth to ask them, but Jack shakes his head and fixes me with a look that he has used on a million missions. He’s telling me to stay quiet, to not say anything.
My eyes travel to Jacob and the expression on his face has me blinking in confusion. He looks distracted, confused, and almost pained. Teal’c is standing just behind Jack and Jacob and his face is almost identical to Jacob’s, but not as severe – or as confused.
Why do I get the feeling that I’m missing something?
There has to be a very good reason as to why we’re allowing a pregnant woman to sit in a room that’s beginning to fall apart. No one, not even Jack, Jacob, and Teal’c, are reacting to it anymore. It’s as if I’m the only one noticing the quake getting worse. The furniture in the room is beginning to shake; books and ornaments are joining the pictures on the floor.
“Willow,” Giles’ voice catches my attention again. “No one will harm Sam or the baby.”
Willow looks up at him, her eyes brimming with tears. “I… I know. That’s not what I’m afraid of.” She looks down. “I’m scared of what I’ll do to get them back.”
At her words, everything goes silent. I mean literally. The earthquake stops and all of Willow’s friends freeze. Each of them have a look on their face I’d rather not decipher. It’s… It’s like…
It’s like the Earth is holding its breath.
“So that’s it,” Giles breaks the silence, a look of realization dawning on his features. “That’s why you were so scared of today.”
Something important is happening here. I can’t explain how I know, but the way everyone is reacting… God, I hate being out of the loop!
“You’re scared that you’ll lose control again.” Giles reaches out and touches her face gently.
“Look at me, Giles. I can’t even stop this.”
Stop this? Stop what?
“I can’t lose her, Giles. I can’t lose either of them.” She squeezes her eyes shut, but it doesn’t stop the tears from leaking through. “I love her more than I loved Tara. If something’s going to happen to them there… There won’t be enough power on this Earth to stop me.”
And as if on cue, the Earth starts shaking again.
“Nothing is going to happen to me, Will,” Sam promises her. “I know you’re scared but no one in this room will ever do anything to hurt any of us.”
The trembling intensifies as Willow looks up at her lover. “They will when they find out what I am. What I can do.” Her eyes move to Jack, Jacob, and Teal’c for a second time, before finally resting on me.
I can’t seem to look away from the agonizing pain in her wide green eyes. There’s so much grief in them, so much pain and self-loathing, that it makes my stomach twist. I’ve seen that pain before. In the eyes of a woman I haven’t thought of in years.
Who, when her memory was fully intact, was actually Linea – The Destroyer of Worlds.
The fact that Willow reminds me of Ke’ra scares me. A lot. Still, despite the fear, I can’t – won’t – deny the part of me that refuses to sit by idly while another person is in pain, especially when I, intentionally or not, am the cause.
I ignore Jack’s protest as I take a step towards Willow. “I don’t know who or what you are,” I tell her. “Until the other day, I didn’t even know you existed. However, one thing I do know is Sam.” I glance towards my friend and she’s watching me with an indescribable expression. It’s at that exact moment when an idea occurs to me. “Sam, do you know Willow’s secret?” From the way she’s acting safe to assume she does, but I need to hear her say the words.
“Do you love her?”
She looks slightly offended by the question. “Of course!”
I turn back to Willow and kneel down in front of her. “Do you love Sam?”
I reach out and take her hand. “That’s all I need to know.” The quake, I notice, subsides ever so slightly. “Whatever your secret is, I don’t care. You’re carrying the child of my best friend.”
Tears continue flowing down Willow’s face.
“If anyone tries to take Sam from you or your child, I give you my word that I will do everything in my power to stop them,” I vow, meaning every word. “The same goes if anyone tries to hurt you. Sam’s the closest thing I’ll have to a family. No, she is my family. I trust her. If she’s okay with… with what you are, then so am I. None of us, not me, not Jack, not Jacob, or Murray, will do anything to hurt you.”
I turn around and look towards my friends. The look I give Jack is the exact same look he gave me only a few minutes ago, though there is a veil of threat behind it.
Jack’s not stupid, though he loves to act that way. He knows one wrong word and we’ll lose Sam forever. “Right,” he grudgingly agrees.
And just like that, the room is filled with silence.
The Earthquake is gone.
I’m not silly enough to believe that Jack’s acquiesce means he won’t be demanding answers the first second he’s able. He will.
But for the moment, there’s peace.
Willow squeezes my hand gently and< I turn back to face her. The tirade of emotions and fears momentarily takes my breath away, as does the smile she’s giving me. In that moment, I can see what draws Sam to her.
I return her smile. “You’re welcome.”