Murder, Mugging and Morons...Oh My
Note: Takes place during VM S2, E14, "Versatile Toppings." Some dialogue intentionally reproduced.
“Let your freak flag fly, ladies!” Dick called after the newly-outted Kylie and Marlena, as they walked down the Neptune High hallway.
Veronica’s reaction as she walked up to him? “How progressive of you, Dick.”
She might’ve been disingenuous in her compliment. At least that was one couple she didn’t have to prevent the “Pizza Boy Mugger” from blackmailing. She almost wished she wasn’t “out,” so she could take this case just a little more personally.
“Damn. What is it with you? Do you follow me around for fun, or what?” He tried to be humorous, but like all those other times it was intentional, he didn’t pull it off.
“Would it help if I started making out with *my* girlfriend in the hall?”
He perked up at this. “*Yeah*, obviously. I’d so pay.”
She nodded, having expected such an answer. Silently, she retrieved her call phone and dialed. After a couple rings, “Hey, bad time? Because it’s been requested that we publicly display our affections. Just thought I’d let you know. There was talk of compensation.” Getting a response, she smiled unsettlingly at Dick, but talked to Buffy on the other end. “Didn’t even need to guess.” She held the phone out to him. “It’s for you.”
Dick took a couple steps backward. “I don’t want that.”
Veronica looked surprised. “You’re sure?” She watched him take off in the opposite direction, his random pal in tow. “I expect a check to appear magically in my hand by the end of the day!”
Because he owed her for hitting her car. Not because there was going to be H.L.A for cash.
“So,” Veronica said to the significantly more pleasant person on her phone, beginning to walk through the hall, “how *you* doin’? Need anything? I.D.s faked? Bodies hidden? I know a good landfill.” Listening, she froze in mid step. “Hold on.”
Then she was running into the bathroom. Once inside, she shoved the stopper under the door, before going from stall to stall looking to make sure she didn’t see any feet.
“Okay, from the top. You and Faith what?”
#We...on patrol...we killed someone. It was an accident. I wasn’t thinking--we weren’t. I thought he was a vamp, an-and I grabbed him, and then Faith...I watched him die. God, his eyes were...#
“Give me two hours.” Veronica said, not liking the tone in her girlfriend’s voice.
#No, it’s...don’t. You don’t wanna be here.#
“Oh yeah I do.”
#I’m serious. Faith’s losing it, and the cops, they’re...I think I’m a suspect. The paper said he was the deputy mayor.#
The teen detective’s eyebrows hit the roof. “Deputy mayor, huh? Checking out Sunnydale’s back alleys. At night. Either he was hoping Roxanne would put on that red light one more time, or, he knew exactly what he was strolling into. And because I get happy when there’s corruption in City Hall...” As quick as she started to latch onto that bone, she dropped it just as quick. “Two hours. This? Why support systems were invented.”
#Support after. I want. But I’m calling because I need help--private detecting help. Giles talked to the Council...and they already knew. Means it was Wesley who spilled. Giles said they’ll probably send people to ‘rehabilitate’ Faith. I don’t trust Wesley, and I *really* don’t trust them. Not after my birthday.#
Veronica didn’t like the word “rehabilitate.” Not in this context. “Welcome to my worldview.” She exhaled. “I’ll make a call. You’ve got a P.I. in your backyard that, luckily, owes Dad a favor. Other than legally trying to change his name to ‘Sam Spade,’ he’s on level. And the guy can tail like nobody’s beeswax. Soon as I haggle him down, I’ll text you the address.”
#Thanks, Veronica. I’ll let you know what’s happening.#
Veronica heard the smile. “Damn well better. ‘Cause I still object.”
#Support after. Meant that.#
“Buffy? Watch your back.”
#Only if you watch yours.#
They hung up with each other, and Veronica was even less eager to face Neptune High now. Tempted to screw the case. She was here trying to solve the mystery of a bus crash she felt guilty over, and more immediately, trying to keep gay students closeted. All while her best friend was there, being a murder suspect. What a great year this was.
Didn’t like it. Nope. Nuh-uh.
On her way out of the bathroom though, she still made the call.