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Sweet Dreams Are Made of These

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Summary: Buffy has a really strange dream with John Wayne and evil alien space snakes. Warning: This story makes little sense. The slash mark is checked but there is nothing explicit. Hilarity does NOT ensue though.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Stargate > Buffy-Centered > Pairing: Other(Moderator)SaturnFR151571051,25611 Apr 0811 Apr 08Yes
Title: Sweet Dreams Are Made of These
Author: Saturn AKA satyrnfive
Rating: FR-18
Disclaimer:I don't own Buffy or Stargate. I just borrowed them for a bit and was sure to not make any money during that time.
Setting: Doesn't matter. Has no spoilers for anything except my dream.
Author's note: This was based pretty closely on a dream I had last week. How weird is it that I dreamed a Buffy/Stargate crossover with a bit of a twist?

Buffy looked around in mild confusion. She could have sworn she was just laying in bed with Xander. And it wasn't in a 1950's movie theater either, that she was sure of. The simple movement, of swiveling her head to scan the theater, took more effort than it should have. It was like moving in invisible molasses. Luckily the theater was abandoned except for her and a grainy black and white film was playing. It just seemed easier to stay and watch the film. She could always get back to Xander later. The screen in front of her was showing the beginning credits.

“Huh. Attack of the Snake Aliens, sounds kind of corny.”

Buffy watched the shaky camera focus on a pool of dark bubbling water. Suddenly a small snake shot out of the water and began slithering across a grated floor.

'These snake aliens aren't very intimidating,' Buffy thought. She watched the snake slowly hop over the lip of one of those weird battleship door things and move behind a guy in a military uniform. Buffy jumped when it suddenly leaped and began burrowing into the guy's neck. He began grabbing at it and spinning out of control.

While the snake was slowly working its way into the guy's neck another military guy in full dress uniform kicked open a different door and stepped in.

“How did John Wayne get into this movie?” Buffy mused.

Buffy watched John Wayne raise his pistol. “Hold still soldier, I'll shoot that dirty parasite off you or my name isn't Colonel Jack O'Neill.” With a single shot from his pearl-handled 45 the snake thing was obliterated and the soldier was saved.

Jack O'Neill struck a heroic pose as the camera zoomed in. “The United States will never let the Goa'uld threat go unchecked, not as long as honest hard working Americans draw a breath.”

The picture faded to black and the credits started rolling. Buffy slowly got up and waded her way to the exit of the theater. As soon as she pushed through the door her eyes shot open. She was laying in bed looking down at the top of Xander's head that was resting on her shoulder. She ran her hand through the dark hair and slowly traced one of the purple streaks in Xander's hair. Her hand followed it down until it lightly brushed one of Xander's breasts.

Buffy suddenly sat up and dislodged Xander from her spot on Buffy's shoulder. “Oh my god!” she gasped.

Xander looked startled and sat up too. She looked around wildly. “Whaz-huh. Unh?” she grunted before realizing there was no danger. She brushed her purple-streaked black hair out of her face. “What's going on Buffy?”

“Xander! I think I just had a slayer dream. With John Wayne. And space snakes. Do I really need to fight space snakes too?” Buffy said with a pout.

Xander slid forward until she could wrap her arms around Buffy. “Don't worry, Buff. It was just a dream. You know how dreams can be all wacky and nonsensical.”

The End

You have reached the end of "Sweet Dreams Are Made of These". This story is complete.

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