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10 Ways Buffy Never Heard of Andalasia

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Ficlet(s)

Summary: A sequence of short ficlets crossing the worlds of Buffy and Giselle into one big happy poison apple pot. Yay! BtVS/Enchanted

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Movies > EnchantedKennieFR15115,837086,90823 Apr 087 Jan 10Yes

And One Way She Did...

A/N:

Because even I'm not that evil...

Enjoy!

And One Way She Did...

“Sorry I’m late!” Buffy apologised as she breezed through Giles’ apartment door. “You would not believe what happened to me on the way over here. First there was this whole thing where I might have accidentally run someone over...”

Nobody was listening. Buffy stopped, pouting. Okay, Andrew was busy being strangled by Faith but Xander, Willow, Kennedy, Dawn and the stranger she was snuggled up to didn’t even bother to turn around from the musical they were watching. They could at least have pretended to care!

Buffy frowned, her attention caught by something on the screen. “Is that you?” she asked Faith, the corners of her mouth twitching as she fought back her laughter.

“I’ll kill you!” Faith snarled in Andrew’s face.

He was turning purple. Sighing, Buffy pulled her off him. Andrew fell to the ground coughing.

“I think he’s got the message,” Buffy told Faith.

Faith kicked him in the groin. “Now he has,” she said, stalking away.

Noticing her approach, Xander hastily turned the television off.

“Nice try Boytoy,” she told him, ejecting the DVD from the DVD player and snapping it in two.

Buffy made a mental note to ask Andrew if he had another copy when he was feeling better. And Faith wasn’t around. After all, it wasn't fair that she was the only one who hadn't seen it.

“I swear I’ve seen that woman before,” the strange guy Dawnie was wrapped around said.

“Ooh, ooh, I know!” Dawnie said. “Churchill, Harline & Smith, remember? ‘This is so unprofessional!’”

“Yeah, isn’t she that girl you were staring at at that ball?” Kennedy asked Willow.

“You mean the ball of which we do not speak?” Willow said, blushing as red as her hair. “Ever!”

“Really?” Xander asked, intrigued. He shut his mouth when Willow unleashed her Resolve Face on him. Ever. Right. Got it.

“I think I hit her with my car,” Buffy said, looking shell-shocked. “I-I wasn’t sure because when I looked, she wasn’t there. Just a lot of this,” Shoving her hand in her pocket, she pulled out the silver fragments for them to see.

“Ooh, shiny!” Willow said, brightening. “Me see!”

“I was kinda hoping you and Giles could make with the research,” Buffy said, looking around as she handed the stuff over. “Where is Giles anyway?”

“Ahem,” Andrew coughed self-importantly from the floor. “If I may,” he croaked, using a nearby table to pull himself to her feet. “I have invited you all here today...”

“You invited us?” Kennedy said, looking peeved.

“Here today,” Andrew continued. “Because I can no longer keep the sad truth from you,” He paused dramatically.

“You’re gay,” said Xander. “Dude, it’s cool. We already knew.”

“What?” Andrew squealed. Clearing his throat he tried for a more manly pitch, “I’m not!” and failed.

“What is it then?” Dawn asked.

“Giles is missing,” Andrew told them, looking miserable. “I can’t believe you guys think I’m gay.”

“What?”

“Since when?”

“For how long?”

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

The cacophony of noise abruptly cut off as the front door opened again.

“Bloody Andrew never locks the door,” Giles complained, ushering an old man with very knobbly knees and a scrubby-looking young boy into the apartment in front of him. “Oh good, everyone’s here.”

Before he could get to the introductions, he found himself in the centre of a very uncomfortable group hug. Unable to move, his nose immediately began to itch.

“Dear Lord,” he said faintly. “A chap disappears for a few days and suddenly everyone’s acting as though he had died.” Singling Andrew out of the group he asked him, “Why did you tell them?”

“It’s been two weeks,” Andrew said, shifting uncomfortably. “And they thought I was gay!”

Giles felt a sudden urge to clean his glasses. Perhaps recognising the reflexive twitches, his children let him go. “So long?” he said, sitting down. “It seemed like only a few days...”

“What happened?” Buffy asked.

“Uh,” Xander interrupted before Giles could answer. His hand in the air, the one-eyed man stared directly at the two men Giles had brought with him, “Does anyone else find it weird that there’s two cartoon characters in Giles’ living room?”

“Ah,” Giles said, cleaning his glasses. “Meet Merlin and his pupil, Arthur.”

No sooner had Merlin and Arthur’s presence and the mystery of Giles’ disappearance been explained then Merlin spotted the silver shards Willow had left on the coffee table and they were launched into a muddled explanation of the mystery woman that Buffy might or might not have run over.

Willow repaired the DVD with a wave of her hand and they all watched the whole thing from start to finish while Faith stood in the corner, grinding her teeth and glaring daggers at Andrew. There wasn’t really much point in watching it again but, to be honest, they didn’t need much excuse.

Andrew remembered that he’d shared an elevator with the woman the night before Giles had disappeared and that some guy who’d turned up the next night had mentioned coming from Andalasia, the cartoon kingdom Giles had travelled to and Xander remembered the dragon that had disappeared into silver crystals. Willow, Giles and Merlin put their heads together and very quickly came up with a spell that they were certain would work. A couple of chants and a few stinky herbs later, there was a bright swirl of lights which faded to reveal a very familiar looking woman.

“Oh my!” she said. “Whatever happened?”

“You made me sing!” Faith growled, stalking towards her.

Buffy moved to intercept her as the woman cringed back, “Faith, no!”

“And dance,” Dawn reminded the dark slayer, once more curled around the guy Buffy still didn’t know.

“Dawn, stop helping!” Buffy snapped at her sister.

“Hey!” the strange guy objected. “Don’t talk to my wife like that.”

A deathly silence settled over the room as all heads turned towards the pair.

“Wife?” Buffy asked, her voice very quiet and very deadly.

“How wonderful!” the woman exclaimed. “Oh, when two people love truly...”

Whatever she was going to say next was cut off by a right uppercut that sent her crashing to the floor, unconscious.

“Faith!” various people around the room exclaimed.

“She was gonna sing,” the dark-haired slayer said defensively.

The End

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