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Sweet and Tender Hooligan

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Summary: Oops, Trip did it again. (Or domestic lives of vampires).

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Star Trek > EnterpriseAdAbsurdumFR1317790276723 Apr 0823 Apr 08Yes
A/N: Set in the Karma Suture universe (vamp!Malcolm and vamp!Trip) but this has nothing to do with that story. Title and the lyrics below borrowed from The Smiths.
Disclaimer: I don't own either Star Trek: Enterprise or Buffy the Vampire Slayer. No profit made.
And English still isn't my first language.

Sweet and Tender Hooligan

Malcolm looked from the newspaper he was holding, to Trip and back again. The bold title on the second page proclaimed: 'Man bleeding to death on the street'.

Trip smiled sheepishly.

"Charles," Malcolm sighed. "We've had this conversation before. You don't actually have to kill people when you feed on them."

Trip shuffled his feet; the impression reminiscent of a schoolboy being scolded by a headmaster.

"I know," he said with something close to an apologetic smile. "But I was hungry." He licked his lips, remembering how the man had bled: prettily, quietly and without fuss (which was very nice of him) – not onto the street, as that title in the paper would suggest, but rather into his mouth. And what a great dinner it was.

"Charles..." Malcolm shook his head but Trip went on—

"And besides, the guy wasn't very happy anyway. We talked for a bit and he said his wife had just left and then he'd lost his job, so, you know..." Trip paused. "He's really better off this way," he finished looking at Reed earnestly and without a hint of guilt.

"That's not the point," Malcolm only sighed. Again.

"I won't do it again if you don't want me to," Trip had that guileless smile on his face. The one that Malcolm was quite fond of and that made him perhaps more indulgent than he should have been.

"Yes, that would be nice."

"OK, then I won't."

Malcolm thought he heard Trip mutter "Well, not until the next time" under his breath. He decided to ignore it.

xx xx xx

"You did it again." Reed's voice matched the expression on his face. Stern and unyielding.

Trip felt another lecture coming.

Malcolm had an overwhelming urge to thwack Trip over the head to make him see reason. For the moment, though, his curiosity was stronger and he asked, "How did you even manage to get invited in?"

"Well," Trip fiddled with a newspaper he had hoped to hide before Malcolm could read it. It looked like it was too late, though, dammit.

"I helped the old lady with the groceries. Then she said I reminded her of her grandson who, by the way, doesn't visit her anymore, and then she asked if I'd like a cup of tea and, well..."

"And then you felt like eating," Reed finished, still frowning at his childe.

Trip rolled his eyes. "But she was old. She would've died anyway, sooner or later."

"Oh, so that makes it all right?" Malcolm said in a mocking tone but then sighed. Despite the fact that he didn't even need to breathe, Trip elicited this reaction from him with astounding ease.

"You do know that the last thing you need is a slayer on your back?"

"Hey, I'm careful. And besides, I don't torture people - I don't play with my food, so it doesn't scream and doesn't attract any attention at all," Trip pointed out, quite reasonably in his personal opinion.

"What am I going to do with you?" Malcolm looked into those innocent blue mother-me eyes. There was a spark of mischief in them as Trip grinned sweetly.

"Dunno, but I sure love that thoughtful look on ya."

He licked Malcolm's ear and sauntered off to the kitchen.

xx xx xx

He was a sweet and tender hooligan, hooligan
And he said that he'd never, never do it again
And of course he won't (oh, not until the next time)

Poor old man
He had an "accident" with a three-bar fire
But that's OK
Because he wasn't very happy anyway
Poor woman
Strangled in her very own bed as she read
But that's OK
Because she was old and she would have died anyway

Don't blame
The sweet and tender hooligan, hooligan
Because he'll never, never, never, never, never, never do it again
(not until the next time)

Jury, you've heard every word
So before you decide
Would you look into those "Mother me" eyes
I love you for you, my love, you my love
You my love, you my love

Don't blame
The sweet and tender hooligan, hooligan
Because he'll never, never do it again
And ...
"In the midst of life we are in death etc."

In the midst of life we are in death etc!
Etc, ect, etc, etc!
In the midst of life we are in debt etc!

Just will you free me?
Will you find me?
Will you free me?
Will you find me?

-- The Smiths "Sweet and Tender Hooligan"

The End

You have reached the end of "Sweet and Tender Hooligan". This story is complete.

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