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Leaping through to Freedom

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Summary: Xander has to jump to close a portal. The results lead him to a place that would make any sane man weep.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Firefly > Xander-Centered > Pairing: Mal(Past Donor)KatrinaCFR1822,7062109,11724 Apr 0824 Apr 08No

The Jump

Title: Leaping through to Freedom
Author: Kat/Ryan
Pairings: Xander/Mal, Wash/Zoe,
Warnings: Slash, Het, sex, slex (m/m), violence, angst, Language
Fandoms: BtVS, Firefly
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from BtVS or Firefly … But I really wish I did... then they’d perform for us all.... *drools*

Summary: Xander has to jump to close a portal. The results lead him to a place that would make any sane man weep.

The Jump

Xander was exhausted as he hacked away at the demons around him. They found the location just as the portal began to open, and the only way to close it was with the blood and soul of an innocent. Xander knew he was the only innocent still alive in their group. The shaman in Africa was very helpful in helping him understand.


“There are ways to know if the soul is an innocent or not. Come, it is a quick and painless test.” Xander followed the shaman in Zimbabwe to a cave on the outskirts of the village.

“In here there are three tests. You must go in with no weapons and the spirits will test you to see if you are worthy.” Xander nodded and stepped into the cave after handing his weapons to the Shaman and the Slayer by his side.

The first test was interesting, he saw his friend Jesse being dragged by vampires to be a sacrifice and he dove in.

“You got him once! I won’t let you take him twice!” He screamed in anger that he couldn’t save his friend, but instead of attacking the vampires, he tried to run and take Jesse from them.

As he got close, he managed to free his friend and escape the group of vampires, seeing the sad gratitude in the eyes of his best friend, Xander cried as the image began to fade.

The wisps of the test made it fade and a light blue glow shown in the back lighting up the word innocent for the first test. The second test was Willow attacking everything and enjoying having the world suffer like she was.

“Willow, why are you hurting everyone? Children shouldn’t be made to suffer this?”

“SHUT UP!” A flash of magic hit him, but Xander just grunted and walked over to his friend.

“The love of your life would shudder at the thought that you made the world hurt like you do. I know that Tara wouldn’t have wanted this.” Xander held her hands and held her, even though the magic was burning him.

“You don’t understand! She was my life!”

“Jesse was mine and I had to stake him.” The whispered response stopped Willow cold.

“You had to stake Jesse?” Her voice was small, but Xander simply nodded. He sat down, and ignored the tears on his cheeks and looked at Willow.

“Just because it hurts, you shouldn’t make others hurt like you. You talk to someone and let people help you so that the hurt is less.” As his words end, Willow fades and another blue light shines with innocent at the back of the cave.

As Xander weeps for his lost friends someone sits beside him. The man is wearing a dark blue suit and his dirty blond hair is pulled into a loose ponytail. Xander finally notices his presence and he looks at him in confusion.

“Hello. I’m Xander. Who are you?” The stranger chuckled.

“I’m Joe. I’m a healer. I’ve heard that you lost your eye in a fight against evil.” Xander nodded cautiously and looked Joe over with a suspicious eye.

“While I did, I got used to not having the eye. Why do you ask?” Another smile was given, one with a bit too many teeth.

“I’ve come to offer my services in fixing it for you.” Xander shook his head.

“No thanks. I do appreciate the sentiment, but I can live without my one eye. What’s not to say that your payment will be my other one?” Genuine laughter came from the man’s throat.

“You got me there, but I can get someone to-”

“Thanks, but no thanks.” Xander cut him off and stood. “Look, Joe, I know that you’re trying to get me a deal here, but the only way I get my eye back is if I sell my soul. I’d rather keep that part of me, thanks.” With that the man vanished with a bright smile and Xander saw the back of the cave was blue with the words ‘Innocent Soul, Repenting Mind’ glowing in blue.

Seeing that, Xander stepped out into the sunlight and smiled at the shaman. He knew that words weren’t needed for him to tell the elder what he already knew.

End flashback

Xander had researched the ritual that the demons were using and he smiled. It led to wherever the person walking through the portal desired at the bottom of their soul. While he knew that he did want to be with his girls, if he walked through, he would go to his soul mate. When he was in Africa, the shaman in the Congo showed him his soul mate. To say that the image of his soul mate frightened him would be an understatement.


Xander followed to the pond in the center of the tribe. The Slayer of the tribe came with as protection, but only Xander and the Shaman looked into the sparkling depths.

“Him!” Xander squeaked. The image of Caleb floated in the water, and the shaman laughed.

“Only in looks, Knight, only in looks.”

End Flashback

The battle was getting worse, and the portal began to change colours from a Blackish blue to an angry red. He knew that if it was held open for too long, then the portal would turn into a hellgate, unleashing the Generals of Hell.

With the girls so far away and busy with their own battles, Xander did the only thing he could think of and leaped into the blackish-blue portal. The last thing he heard before the darkness enveloped him was Willow screaming in despair as he vanished and the portal closed behind him, never to return to his home.

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