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Summary: The people in Xanders life decided to create a list of things he is no longer allowed to do. Xander decides to make the list as interesting as possible.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
BtVS/AtS Non-Crossover > Comedy > Xander-CenteredDragonhulkFR1567,85085833,59125 Apr 0811 Feb 12No

Chapter One

Disclaimer: I own nothing from Buffy, or the list. I wish I had know about it when it was being written to make suggestions, but sadly I was not so all the rules come from other people.

Rating: Teen

Summary: The people in Xanders life decided to create a list of things he is no longer allowed to do. Xander decides to make the list as interesting as possible.

AN: My muse is being particularly stubborn with the stories I’m currently writing, so I’m giving into her every whim on the off chance she will start to speak to me again. If you wish to look at the list before I finish the web address is For those of you reading this at who can’t see the address type in Things Xander Harris is No Longer Allowed to Do (final list) into the yahoo search engine and it will be the link that leads to the LJ of jpublic.

AN2: Expect short parts in this story and for it only to be updated when I get stuck on my other stories. Don’t worry though at a planned three hundred and three parts there will still be a lot to read.

Xander walked into the office of Rupert Giles with a bit of trepidation. He had only been back from Africa for a week, and already he was being sent to the equivalent of the Principals office.

“Xander, thank you for coming,” said Giles.

“No problem G-man,” said Xander with a bit of a friendly smirk. Just because he was nervous didn’t mean he was going to show it. “I’m not really sure why I’m here though; I thought we got all of the reunion talks out of the way a few days ago.”

“We did, but an issue has come to my attention that you should be aware of, or more accurately you need to be aware of the solution to the issue.”

“Okay, so what’s the issue?”

“After your return from Africa you seem to have regressed a bit, becoming more clown like than you have been for years, this concerns us.”

“Africa is not a nice place Giles, and I was sent to find slayers there with almost no back up. It was either start making jokes again or snap.”

“Understandable, but you are no longer in Africa. This place has dangers of its own, namely the dangers any man would face when surrounded by powerful women. Antagonizing a normal woman is trouble, angering the women who live here is the equivalent to committing suicide.”

“So what’s the solution you guys came up with?” asked Xander, knowing that he wouldn’t have been called in here if they didn’t already have something in mind.

“This,” said Giles as he handed over a paper simply titled Things Xander Harris is No Longer Allowed to Do.

“Giles, this is blank,” said Xander.

“I’m aware of that. You see this is a magical master paper connected to over one hundred and fifty other pieces of paper that are placed around the school. Anything that is written on this paper will appear on all of the other sheets of paper, letting you know when you have crossed the line from humor to mortal peril.”

“And just who suggested posting this everywhere instead of just giving me a sheet to personally view?”

“Ah, that would be Robin. He suggested letting others see it so they don’t make the same mistakes.”

“Okay,” said Xander in a far too calm voice as he got up from his chair. In his mind he paraphrased the greatest animated bunny of all time as he simply thought this means war.
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