I don’t own House or BTVS. No infringement is intended. Sadly, no profit will be made from this either.
House looked at his hands in relief. The colouring was back to normal. Okay, it might be the only part where it was and the itching was still there, but it was a start. Even better, the patient Kutner had talked about was, after a short night's sleep, indeed interesting. Which meant he had more games to play. Smiling, despite the early hour, he went to the small lecture theatre to meet up with the remaining prospective fellows.
However, just before entering the room, Cuddy stepped into his way.
Well, into his field of vision and he thought a couple more minutes weren't going to kill the patient.
Or he'd be paged, anyway.
Nope. No pager going off just yet.
"Morning," he greeted her, pointedly shoving his watch into her face. Almost, in any case. "I'm on time. Should get me extra brownie points."
Smirking, Cuddy pointed at his hands. "They look better. How about-" not even trying to contain her grin, she motioned towards his crotch. "- the other body parts?"
Eyes opening comically wide, House could only gasp. "How did you know?"
Her eyes twinkling with mischief, Cuddy leaned in close and whispered, "I've got my sources."
Patting his shoulder, she quickly walked past him and continued to her office, throwing him another grin over her shoulder. In fact, she and Buffy had spent the previous night guessing where House might have touched himself before getting the spell off of his hands. As, according to Willow, it was pretty sticky stuff, they had wondered if he had needed to pee before it indeed had worn off – and ended up in a giggling fit.
And his reaction to her question had given her the answer. She couldn't wait to share the news with Buffy.
Buffy was happily munching on her second lunch when, out of the corner of her eye, she saw her favourite Grumpy Cane Guy enter the cafeteria. He was followed by his remaining fellows – and another doctor she hadn't seen before.
Turning her chair slightly so she had a better view, she got comfortable, anticipating some kind of show.
She didn't have to wait too long either. Just as she was taking another hearty bite from her Reuben sandwich – damn House for hooking her onto them – he got up onto a chair and told everyone how the last mayonnaise batch bought by their kitchen had gone off. Yeah, right. Looking at her sandwich while most of the other customers stood up to leave and head for the clinic as House had suggested, Buffy shrugged her shoulders and took another bite.
House, after all.
As he looked into her direction, she gave him a smirk and a quick wave with her hand. However, before he could do more than grin back, the other doctor spoke up, telling everybody that the mayonnaise was fine. Rolling his eyes at her, House turned back and assured everybody he was the one to listen to.
Shaking her head, Buffy continued to eat while watching him interact with his fellows. Thanks to her slayer hearing, she was able to hear every single word spoken and had to admit that just watching House was more entertaining than most TV shows she knew. Tilting her head, she watched the new doctor more closely and figured he and House must have known each other for quite some time.
Could it really be? Realisation dawning, she couldn't help but grin even more. The last former fellow had come back. He fit the description Allison had given her and he was clearly not intimidated by House. Yep, House had all of his ducklings back in the same pond.
Together with the effects from Willow's spell it gave her enough material to avoid any questions she didn't want to answer in their physio session later today.
Rubbing her hands together in glee, Buffy quickly finished of the remaining fries before leaving the almost empty cafeteria to check her emails before seeing her next patient.
Only to run straight into House. Literally.
"Hey, you alright?" Dr Foreman, well, the guy she supposed to be Dr Foreman, asked from where he was standing next to House.
"Yeah, thanks," Buffy replied, giving him a dazzling smile. "Just didn't expect Mr Grumpy here standing right in front of the cafeteria doors."
Raising his eyebrows, House smirked at her, "Aren't you worried about food poisoning? I've heard they had some trouble with their mayonnaise."
"Plea-ease," Buffy drawled out. "You need to practice on the lying thing."
Okay, that was a lie – no pun intended - but it also was too good a comment to ignore. Especially as House was the one on the receiving end of it.
He just glared at her for daring to label him as a bad liar for a second or two. Then he tilted his head and shook a finger at her.
Foreman, however, snorted and offered Buffy his hand, "Hi, I'm Dr Eric Foreman. It's really
nice to meet you."
Quickly tucking Buffy's hand back as soon as she made contact with Foreman's, House leaned over and stage-whispered rather conspiratorially, "Careful! Don't want him to snatch something from you. Or him adding another bun to the oven!"
Huffing, Buffy slapped House's arm – harder than she normally would. When he started to rub it, she glared at him with squinted eyes. "Watch it! Or feeling a bit off-colour
might be the least of your problems."
Chuckling, Foreman offered Buffy his arm. "Can I get you something? Coffee? Tea?"
"Chocolate?" Buffy asked hopefully after checking how much time she had until her next patient. Thanks to her injury her work schedule was still lighter than it usually would be, giving her frequent breaks. Despite her being completely healed already.
"Sure. Anything for a speechless House," Foreman said, pointing at House who looked funnily at Buffy.
Buffy questioningly raised her eyebrows at House once she saw the way he was looking at her. As he didn't react, she shrugged her shoulders. "Lead the way," she told Foreman and quickly followed him.
In his mind, House was trying to figure out if
she knew. And if so, how
Not bothering to acknowledge Buffy and Foreman leaving, he thoughtfully made his way to his office. Just as he was about to enter, another thought crossed his mind.
Maybe his colour-rash had something to do with him breaking into her apartment. He just had to know how she had done this. A trick like that would be fantastic. All the possibilities coming with it! Smirking, he walked around his desk, moving the newly arrived letters onto the ever growing pile in his inbox. Technically, it was his outbox but he had put a plain sticker over the 'out' and written 'in' in big, bold letters onto it.
Throwing his thinking ball repeatedly against the wall, he kept wondering. If Buffy knew about him breaking and entering, wouldn't she be pissed at him? Yet, her behaviour towards him hadn't changed at all.
Weird. Well, he would be prepared for the later physio session.
Walking towards the nurses' desk, Buffy threw nurse Brenda a questioning look. Guessing what Buffy wanted, Brenda pointed towards the examination room she knew House to be in. In times like this, she really wished to be the proverbial fly on the wall. The notorious Dr House and The Chosen One - the most successful and powerful Slayer for a long time at that, if the rumours were right – just had to be a true sight.
Meanwhile, Buffy entered the room without knocking. She had concentrated and listened in on the room in front of her and decided House was the only one there.
"Hey!" House promptly protested from his place on the examination table. "I could have been with a patient!"
"Yeah, sure," Buffy snorted.
"Despite common believe, I actually do treat the dim-witted," House protested, putting his hand-held video game away.
"Sometimes," Buffy added casually.
"Can't have them infect me with stupidity. Who's going to treat the real patients then?" House challenged with a raised eyebrow.
"Whatever." Buffy rolled her eyes. Starting to tap her foot, she added grinning, "What's with the jeans? Caught stupidity after all and need help with removing them?"
"Ah," House answered patronisingly, "You see, I've got this rash. Wouldn't want you to catch anything. With the parasite and all."
Tapping her chin with her finger, Buffy pretended to think about it. "Ha!" She suddenly announced, looking like she just had the most brilliant idea ever. "Wouldn't Dr Cuddy have relieved you from treating patients if she thought you were contagious? And wouldn't you
have used it to the same extend?"
"Didn't want to cause any trouble," House answered innocently.
Buffy snorted. "Yeah, right." Pointing to his jeans before crossing her arms in front of her chest, she added, "I'm waiting."
Mimicking her posture, House smirked. "Have fun."
"Hey!" House protested.
"What?" Buffy asked with raised eyebrows. "You mentioned the fun-having thingy!"
"Calling me a coward is not fun," House hissed.
"Yes it is," Buffy replied, emphasising her words by nodding. "Big time."
"Whatever," House said annoyed. How come she managed to annoy him when that is what he intended to do with her? He'd have to change that. Quickly. "In case you haven't heard, a rash often comes with itching. Touching the rash will increase said itching and cause scratching. Scratching will aggravate the rash even more and it will get worse." Taking a breath he added rather menacingly, "Massaging equals both touching and scratching."
Knowing exactly what House was doing, Buffy didn't even bat an eyelash. Instead she raised her eyebrows again. "Wimp."
"Wha-!" He couldn't believe it. She dared
to ignore him! That was just so wrong! House huffed. Fine. Taking off his shoes first, he angrily pushed his jeans down and took them off. "There. Have it your way."
All Buffy wanted to do was shout in triumph. She had actually managed to unnerve him. Worse, seeing the different colours running up and down his legs didn't make it easier to keep a completely straight face. But she managed to. Just. "See, that wasn't that difficult," Buffy said in a voice one would use on a child.
House just sulked. His stupid action of pushing down his jeans rather fast had already started the itching anew. He really should have known better than to act on his male pride. Still, he watched her closely as she calmly opened her bag and got towels and different bottles out.
Smiling cheerfully, Buffy said, "Hope you're not allergic to nuts? Cause I've got this lovely new massage oil. Peanut flavour."
If he wouldn't have needed all willpower he possessed to stop himself from scratching, House would surely have made an appropriate comment. However, he just couldn't be bothered right now, so he only huffed again.
Taking the smallest of her bottles, Buffy squirted a generous amount onto her hand and started to gently rub it into his leg.
It took a while for him to catch onto the fact that she had neither made a comment on the colours nor was the itching as bad as it had been only minutes before. Not to mention his muscles easing up as they always did with Buffy's treatment. Lifting his head, he looked at her curiously.
Smiling knowingly, she took the small bottle again, squirted some more of the slightly nutty smelling oil onto her hand and rubbed it into his healthy leg. At the same time Willow had sent someone to set up the wards on her apartment door, she had also send along aforementioned oil to counteract the itching of the special House
Once Buffy was done covering both his legs, she got her usual stuff out and started with the routine House already was familiar with. After several minutes of silence, he said just one word. "How?"
Smiling secretly, Buffy shrugged her shoulders. "You know the rules. I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."
"You aren't mad," he stated curiously.
"Nope," Buffy replied. "I've been expecting it. Asked for a bit of help." Her eyes lighting up with mischief, she added, "And I couldn't be more pleased with the outcome!"
"Sneaky, devious and very inventive," House replied, a slow smile playing along his lips. "Any chance of getting some of that for myself?"
"Other than the rash?" Buffy asked innocently. Upon House's nod, she shook her head. "Nope."
Lying back down again, House crossed his arms, a smirk still on his lips. Waiting for a minute, he tried again, "You sure?"
Buffy giggled. "Pretty." Cleaning her hands on a towel, she leaned closer. "Time for a new exercise."
"Sex?" House asked, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.
"Cuddy's in a meeting," Buffy replied without thinking. Realising what she'd just said, she stopped in mid-motion. "I didn't just say that, did I?" she asked House, looking horrified.
His grin ever growing, House nodded. "You did."
Pacing up and down in front of the examination bed, Buffy said more to herself, "Bad, Buffy. Bad. Bad, bad, bad."
"I like it," House said, sitting up and smirking maliciously at her. "I'll make sure Cuddles learns about your innovative therapy ideas."
"Great, why don't you just shoot me straight away," Buffy said pitifully. "Save me from further embarrassment."
House pretended to think for a minute before shaking his head. "Nope. Keeping promising therapies from the Dean of Medicine? That would be just so wrong."
Damn. When staring him down didn't seem to work, Buffy held up a peace offering. "I'll give you the rest of the make-House-stop-itching oil?"
House was about to shake his head, so Buffy quickly added, "The effect will wear off in a few hours. And the rash takes about a week to clear up."
Looking at her open expression, he figured the last bit wasn't a lie. As much as he'd love to tell this story to Cuddy, he wouldn't mind being able to stop the itching sooner rather than later. Decisions, decision. Finally, comfort won out. By the smallest possible margin. "Good," he agreed.
Handing over the oil, Buffy sighed in relief. Her mother so wouldn't appreciate her meddling. Oh boy. She just hoped House would keep his words. As there was nothing else she could do about it, she figured busying herself was the best way to forget about it. Well, push it to the back of her mind anyway.
"Right," she started, relief obvious in her voice. "Back to the actual exercise I had in mind."
"Oh no," House said, shaking his head. "That session is done and over with."
"We've still got half an hour," Buffy protested. "Besides, they will really help."
"Buffy," he replied, grinning. "I just care. You shouldn't work hard at least until the stitches are out."
That caught her off-guard. "They are just fine," Buffy pouted.
"Okay, let me have a look," House challenged.
"I said they are fine," Buffy insisted. Showing him would open a whole new can of worms she so could do without.
"Coward," he said, throwing her earlier comment back at her.
"Fine." Starting to stuff her things back into her back, she said, "No exercise and no Buffy checking out for you."
That got his attention. Furrowing his eyebrows, he looked at her sharply. "Let me see."
Pouting, she rolled her eyes. "Cuddy had a look before letting me back to work. Happy?"
Not waiting for a reply, she quickly opened the door and left.
"What have we got?" Allison asked as she put on a fresh set of gloves.
"Barbeque fork accident," the paramedic told her. "Got him right in the neck."
--A/N: Thanks for all the reviews again! Muse absolutely loves them. So she sneaked the last two lines in… Had a conversation with Fred, the mouse, again. The little bugger keeps complaining that I shut his door and he can't open it. Well, he shouts at me, I shout at him – and then we're both happy ;).
Oh, before I forget. Again. After you all seemed to love the rainbow colourness of our favourite neighbourhood doctor, I should mention that the credit should go to castofftheday, who mention 'being caught red-handed' in an earlier review and Muse just took it from there!