I don’t own House or BTVS. No infringement is intended. Sadly, no profit will be made from this either.
Taking a deep breath Buffy walked into the hospital, looking for the right way. Finding the correct signs, she followed them, using her slayer hearing to get additional help of where her group might be meeting. Sure enough, she soon managed to pick up a conversation about the final member of the group.
The new Italian girl.
Rolling her eyes at the title, Buffy followed the voices and listened to what else they might be going to say.
Considering that all of them sounded distinctively male, she wasn't too surprise to hear things like olive skin, tall and legs up to her ears.
Snorting, she turned the next corner and almost run into a scrubby looking man, standing in front of the room the voices were coming from. He was rather obviously listening in and didn't seem to care if anyone noticed.
Raising her eyebrows, she quipped, "And here I though listening into other peoples conversations is rude."
"No-o!" To emphasise his surprise at that piece of information, he showed off what he thought was a rather nice I'm truly and utterly shocked
Nodding, her features all but screamed sincerity. "Yeah, imagine that. Rude."
Watching him slowly scrutinise her from top to toe, Buffy even managed a small amused smile.
After a couple of minutes he turned back to the entrance so he'd hear better, ignoring her completely. Finally, after listening to a few more comments about the anatomical advantages of that new Italian intern, he graced her with his attention again. "Then what are you
Buffy barely raised her eyebrows in response. Rolling his eyes at her slowness, he moved his hands dismissively. "Shoo, go! Waste your time somewhere else."
"What? You afraid the gossip will magically half itself because someone else is listening in? Aren't you too old to get all gossip-y anyway?"
"I'm the doctor-"
"No you're not. He's all classy and yummy and not so much with the standing around uselessly." Buffy interrupted him in her best blonde Valley Girl impression.
"Huh!?" Staring open mouthed at the little midget in front of him, he couldn't believe it. Didn't anyone fear him around here anymore? Blasphemy! And what was she babbling about anyway?
Chuckling, Buffy watched him look back at her in confusion. She could tell that he wasn't used to being interrupted or being confused by whomever he was talking to. But judging by the tiny smile creeping into his eyes, Buffy thought that after overcoming the initial bewilderment about her comment he was more intrigued than offended. "Never mind. So, you were saying I'm the doctor…?"
Shaking his head in amazement, he continued without even thinking, "I'm
the doctor, I live off of gossip. How else am I supposed to cure all the stupid people insisting on populating this place?"
"And that makes sense how?"
Rolling his eyes – only barely preventing himself from punching the air for successfully confusing her in return – he tipped his cane against her legs. "Everybody lies."
Snorting, Buffy shook her head. "That's hardly a revelation."
Judging by the surprised look he was giving her, that wasn't exactly the answer he'd expected.
Shrugging her shoulders, despite the little fun earlier Buffy didn't really know this guy and couldn't care less about what he was up to, she looked towards the door. The door that Grumpy Cane Guy was blocking.
"Well, you done yet?" Buffy asked slightly impatient. Coming late to their introduction didn't exactly count as making a good first impression on her tutor. Of course, she could always just shove Grumpy Cane Guy away, but with his leg problem, whatever it was, that action would kinda contradict both her slayer and professional instinct. Help people, not injure them further – no matter how much it sucks!
He didn't even have the decency to look at her but was once more listening to the conversation on the other side of the door. "Why?"
"Why do you want to know that?"
"Why not?" Finally, enduring all those teenagers, potentials and newbie slayers alike around her for the past few years paid off. She could play the why-game forever. And
she had his attention back.
"Why, why, aren't we nosy."
"Why? Why, oh why
is wanting to know why you asked me why
making me nosy? Why, huh?" Entering the staring contest he seemed so keen on, Buffy never lost eye-contact while a small smile started to spread across her face.
Smirking, Buffy wiggled her eyebrows. "Giving up already?"
"In contrast to other people present here, I have actually stuff to do and can't play with such boring things as the word 'Why' all day!"
"You mean you have to find another place to listen in? Well, it's been nice meeting you. But I have to go now." Giving him a gentle push so she could pass him, Buffy threw him another look over her shoulder. "Gotta show off my olive skin after all!"
Grinning, House watched the door close after her. Turns out that coming in early for his patient was actually paying back. He hadn't had such an interesting conversation for quite some time. Judging by what he learned by listening to those morons inside the conference room, she was going to stick around for a while.
He was looking forward to it.
And wondered if she would keep up with him once she learned about his reputation.
Whistling, he went towards his very own entertainment. Avoiding Cuddy's and Wilson's attempts to get him to choose new fellows. Throwing a coin, he decided coma-guy deserved another visit from him.
He had a story to tell after all.
Sighing, Buffy opened the door to her apartment. It had been a long day and the little banter with Grumpy Cane Guy had definitely been the highlight of it. Then again, as she had hoped, she'd been too busy to think about Mark. This was another major plus.
Apart from that, her co-workers seemed to be alright. Despite her being the only woman in the group and them obviously being disappointed of her lack of legs that reach her ears. She could live with that. Besides, after they spent the day with a detailed tour of the hospital – or rather all the areas they might find their patients - together, they seemed to have forgotten about it. Mostly.
She hadn't seen Grumpy Cane Guy again. Nor did she get a glimpse of her biological mother. Still, the hospital hadn't given her any major weird vibes as most of them usually do, so all in all she considered today a success.
But now came the part of the day she hated. Being alone at home gave her way too much time to think. Grocery shopping was out, as her fridge was filled to the rim. She didn't exactly feel like patrolling either, but it would keep her attention somewhere else and her mind busy. And hopefully she'd get tired enough to fall into a dreamless sleep later.
So patrolling it was.
While Buffy was busy chasing up the bad guys, House was enjoying a lone evening at home. Or so he intended. Hence him not even moving a muscle when someone was knocking on his door. Or when the knocking was joined by a distinct voice.
"House, open up! I know you're in there!".
Throwing a lazy glance at his watch, he realised that Wilson was coming close to a new record in persistent knocking. Not wanting to rob his friend of this amazing achievement, House took another slow sip from his beer.
Double-checking his watch again, he finally heaved himself off of his couch. He needed to get another beer anyway. Walking to the front door and back happened to be shorter than walking to his fridge, so he'd take the shorter route and then have Wilson fetch him another beer.
Wrenching his front door open, he looked at his friend in mock-surprise. "Wilson! You here! My, I hope I didn't let you wait for too long." Leaning over, he vaguely gestured towards his crotch and stage whispered, "I've been busy, you know."
Seeing House's empty bottle, Wilson got two new beer from the fridge. Huffing in annoyance, he finally collapsed on the couch. "Very funny."
Bowing like he'd just finished a stage play, House took one of the beer and sat down next to him.
"So, killed another patient?" he asked while trying to find something interesting on his TV. No such luck.
"Ah! You slept with another patient, you greedy sex-machine, you!"
"No!" Wilson cried out indignantly. And regretted his outburst not even one second later. This was, after all, House he was talking to.
Smirking, House patted Wilson's leg reassuringly. "Don't worry, I won't tell. For the right fee, of course."
"House! I did not sleep with anyone!"
"Well… don't you worry, Jimmy-boy. It happens to the best of us. Well, second best, anyway as I obviously don't have any problems with that." Patting his friend's leg again, House added, grinning. "But what are we doctors for if we can't abuse the system in one way or another. Well, more than one, really. Just come by my office tomorrow and I'll write you a prescription for some little blue happy pills."
Once again flabbergasted by House's train of thought, Wilson stood up and shook is head in both disbelieve and annoyance. "I don't need little blue pills. Thank you very much."
Shrugging his shoulders, House emptied his beer bottle in one big sip. "De Nile is a river in Egypt."
Throwing his hands up into the air in frustration, Wilson all but screamed, "House!"
Doing what every self-respecting friend would do in a situation like that, House looked up in mock-surprise at his friend's emotional outburst. "Wilson?"
Shaking his head in defeat, Wilson announced, "I give up."
"Good. Don't mind me, just close the door behind you when you leave." Rubbing his hands together with glee, House got himself even more comfortable, putting his legs up on the table in front of him.
Taking his coat, Wilson opened the front door, unaware of the wide grin currently spreading across his friend's face. He'd almost closed the door behind him when he realised his mistake. Turning around, he threw it closed behind him. "I wasn't finished yet."
"Doesn't matter. I was."
Ignoring his friends last comment, Wilson took a long drink from his until now untouched beer, relishing in the coldness of the beverage. Sighing, he closed his eyes. Opening them again, he turned towards House. "I haven't seen much of you today."
"No! I'm truly sorry, Sweet Cheeks."
"Ha ha. Do you mind if I laugh later?"
Wiping an imaginary tear from his cheek, House sniffed. "Yes. In fact, I'd be really hurt."
James Wilson knew he shouldn't have asked. Gregory House was one of the few people who'd take a rhetorical question serious. On purpose. And he still managed to annoy him with it every single time. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he tried again.
"How is search for new fellows coming along?"
His eyes never leaving the television, House nodded. "Great."
Positively surprised, Wilson turned towards him. "Really?"
"So, when do you start interviewing them?"
"Never. When was the last time you got rid of all this ugly ear wax of yours." Leaning over, House pretended to take a closer look into his friends ears. "Eww. Let me guess, a long, long time ago. At least it explains your hearing problems."
Taking the TV remote from the couch table, Wilson switched the telly off. "What do you mean by never?"
"Never, as in at no point in time. N-E-V-E-R. As in coming from the words not and ever, meaning that something is not ever going to happen. Never."
"Bu- … but," Taking a deep breath, Wilson tried again. "House!"
Looking at his friend, House just shrug his shoulders. "What?"
"You need new fellows. I know it. Cuddy knows it. But most importantly, you know it as well!" Frustrated, Wilson stood up, throwing his arms helplessly into the air.
"Apparently you know more about me than I do. How about paying my bills next? I wouldn't mind, you know."
"I'm already buying you lunch more often than not. Or drinks. Or other things."
"Okay, how about my hookers? They wouldn't mind either. I might even be willing to share."
Shaking his head in defeat, Wilson moved towards the front door again. Turning back for a final glance, his eyes passed something rather interesting. His friend's prized electric guitar. Keeping the smile off his face, he told House matter of fact, "You need fellows." Not even bothering to wait for a reply, he closed the door behind him.
He had a plan. And an evil one at that.
---A/N: Thanks again for the reviews. You guys rock!!