Of Vampires and Tangos
Disclaimer: I own nothing in either fandom. If I had even the slightest claim on either franchise I would be able to afford more than what I have now.
Summary: Parents night becomes more interesting with Gomez and Morticia attending.
AN: Just a plot bunny that grabbed a hold and wouldn’t let go.
“You know, I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing that sound,” commented Xander as yet another pair of vampires turned to dust.
It was almost sad how easy it was to kill the undead creatures at the moment. They were so intent on running around the school causing mayhem that they never noticed the tripwire he and his partner in crime stepped over, or the very large blade hanging in the hallway that came down like a guillotine.
“I think they’re learning to avoid us, pity,” said the aforementioned partner in crime, or simply Wednesday.
“Looks that way,” said Xander as he looked over at the girl that had stalked him over the summer. He hadn’t turned her down because she was unattractive or anything, she was actually kinda hot once you got past the only wearing black thing, but she and her family had freaked him out with the whole hanging raw animal hearts on his door.
“Okay, I’m probably going to regret this, but why did you put death traps in the school?” asked Xander in a neutral tone. Said death traps had saved his life after his attempt to get out of the school had gone down the toilet, but they were still spooky.
“I was board,” said the teen, just as a vampire turned a corner. The second the unholy supernatural terror spotted the Addams girl it let out a small whimper, turned a full one hundred and eighty degrees, and broke into a full sprint the way it came.
“You do know that this school is built on a gateway to Hell, right?”
“Isn’t every school?” asked Wednesday without a trace of humor on her face.
“Point,” Xander agreed with a nod. “Now comes the question; did you have anyone in mind when you built these or were you just going for general death and mayhem?”
“General death and mayhem is fun but wasteful because it makes people more alert to traps in the future. I was going to use these on Harmony,” said Wednesday in her usual monotone voice. “Possibly her parents as well, but I wanted to meet them first.”
“Huh,” grunted Xander as he considered the answer he was given. “You know I should probably say something about how wrong it is to kill humans, but I’m not sure cheerleaders count.”
“The blond ones can’t.”
Xander tried to stifle his laughter, but a joke coming from the stone face girl was so unexpected that he simply couldn’t help himself.
“True, just don’t let Buffy hear you say that,” said Xander as they passed the lounge. What Xander saw inside made him stop and to a double take to make sure he wasn’t seeing things.
“I’m guessing these are your parents,” said the vampire hunting teen as he indicated the couple casually dusting vampires, while dancing what looked like a tango.
“Think fast old man!” shouted Mr. Addams as he tossed a stake at Xander, and then proceeded to give his wife an impressive twirl.
“Thanks,” said Xander as he caught the piece of wood, and dusted a vampire that was trying to escape the dancing couple.
“Good show!” said Mr. Addams as he finished off the last vampire, as well as his dance with his wife.
“You must be Alexander,” said Mrs. Addams as they walked toward the two teens.
“Just call me Xander,” said the teenage vampire hunter in what may have been the most bizarre meet the parent’s moment in history.
“Well we must be going, but I hope you come by Xander so I can get to know you better.”
“Sure thing Mr. Addams,” said Xander even as every Hellmouth and male instinct he had was telling him to run in the other direction. On the other side of the coin though, this guy just took out a bunch of vampires while dancing the tango with his wife, so probably not a good idea to piss him off.
They were human, so they couldn’t be all that bad. Could they?
“Principal Snyder,” Gomez called out as he caught sight of the man talking to the detective.
“Mr. Addams,” said the bald little man with only a slight tremor in his voice. The only thing that the Mayor had said about the newest family to move to Sunnydale was not to piss them off. Considering the fact that two of the Mayors ‘special’ bodyguards had broken into tears at the mere mention of the family name the school official had every intention of following the orders of his superior.
“I just wanted to come over here and personally congratulate you for a wonderful evening, it was splendid!”
“You liked it?” asked Snyder, unsure how to respond to the statement.
“The screams of unholy terror,” started Gomez.
“The rampaging mob, howling for blood,” continued Morticia.
“It was just like our honeymoon,” finished Gomez. “Though one thing has always bothered me about that experience. Flaming torches are easy enough to make, but where did they get all of that farm equipment so quickly?”
“It was Paris dear, you can find anything there,” Morticia gently chided.
“True enough,” said Gomez as he took out his checkbook. “Well Principal I hope this shows you just how much we appreciated your efforts.”
“Is this your phone number?” asked Snyder as he saw the rather large number written on the slip of paper.
“No, we simply want to be the first to donate for next years events!” said Gomez as the two began to walk towards their car.
Snider had seen many things during his time at Sunnydale High School. He had seen evil. He had seen horror. He had seen the unholy maggots that feast in the dark recesses of the human soul. Until today however he had never seen anything like the Addams Family, but the despised little man thought he would like them. Well at the very least his personal bank account would like them.