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4 Pick-Up Lines Dawn Didn't Like, And One She Did

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This story is No. 9 in the series "Nope, Never Gonna Happen.". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: Trashy pick-up lines, random fandom flirts, and our favorite Key... need I say more?

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > Dawn-Centered > Ficlet CollectionsamusewithaviewFR1352,34868715,9746 May 0815 May 08Yes

Those lacivious latins!

A/N: Nobody guessed! I'm shocked! Check the A/N at the end for a mini-poll. Translations from an online translator (forgive the mistakes), because I am in no way shape or form a scholar of languages (yet!).

Crossing: BtVS/Stargate


Dawn danced. The beat thumped, her hips swung, and she let her higher brain functions slip from her head like the sweat that seeped from her pores. She hated apocalypse season. People died, friends were hurt, there was pain and screaming and blood. She loved apocalypse season. Her talents were useful, the gang was all together working towards one common goal, it was nostalgic, it was... home.

Guilt and other pent-up emotions brought her to this club, she needed to unwind like nobody's business. So what that it had taken her almost an hour to drive here from the rinky-dink town that had housed the latest attempt to end the world? So what if she didn't make it to class tomorrow, or even next week? The world was still turning, people still breathing, sun still shining.

Dawn slipped to the edge of the floor as the song came to a close, her hips giving one last undulating swivel as the bass line thrummed to conclusion. From over her shoulder she heard a voice through the music:

"Oh meus deus, vestri somes can non exsisto forensis," a man muttered quietly. "Ego teneo quis reputo est non!"

She stopped short at hearing latin in a club. Whoa. Turning, she saw a group of four standing a few feet away at the bar. Three were men, one was a woman. On the left was a tall black man with a strange gold tattoo on his forehead, she couldn't quite make out what it was. Next to him was the woman, a tall blonde who looked distinctly uncomfortable. To her left was a second man, probably in his late forties, though still quite attractive. Last was a younger man, thirties probably, and hot hot hot with bright blue eyes and short brown hair.

The third man was watching her and blushing as she scrutinized him and his friends, the older man elbowed him in the ribs. "C'mon Danny," he grinned, "Translate for the gal!" He paused and glanced at their two companions, "For us too."

Dawn grinned and borrowed Faith's 'gonna fuck you raw' walk to saunter over to them. "A translation isn't necessary." She turned to the hot brunette, "Ego certe certo vos, meus somes est perficio forensis."

He blushed again and squinted at her, "Are you the one with the license plate that says, 'SIC HOC ADFIXUM IN OBICE LEGERE POTES, ET LIBERALITER EDUCATUS ET NIMIS PROPINQUUS ADES'?" He frowned, "I think that 'educatus' is spelled incorrectly - "

"Maybe, but how many people will know that off the tops of their heads?" Dawn smirked, "Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere. Can I buy you a drink?"

He sputtered. Older guy leaned around his friend and winked at her, "That means 'yes'." He gave the younger man a slight shove in her direction, "Go have fun with the nice latin-speaking girly, Daniel. You can muck around with the dusty books and your dustier colleagues later."

"Apudne te vel me?"

Daniel sputtered, again.

Dawn laughed, "Relax, I'm just kidding. Not often I meet hot latin-speaking guys in clubs."

"I didn't mean to be so rude, if I'd known you could understand me - "

"You wouldn't have said anything and then you'd still be with your friends and I'd still be here, alone." She loosed her puppy-dog eyes on him, "Of course, if you'd rather go back to your friends I'm sure that I cou - "

"No! I mean it's, ah, nice to meet new people."

"Good," Dawn beamed at him, "Now lets have a drink and maybe hit the floor?"

Daniel nodded and led her to a different section of the bar. Dawn followed with a grin, this definitely took her mind off of the latest apocalypse. Checking out his ass she smiled beatifically. He was saying 'no' now but in a few hours with a little to drink and some nice groin-y dance moves, well...

He might be just what the doctor ordered!


"Oh my god, your body cannot be legal! I know my thoughts aren't!"

"I assure you, my body is perfectly legal."


"If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

"Your place or mine?"

A/N2: So, I was thinkin' that this would be the end. Think I should do something similar with Faith like "5 Pick-Ups Faith Used"? Thanks for all the feedback for the last chappie, please let me know whatcha think of this one!

The End

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