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Born on the mouth of hell.

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Summary: What happens when a white knight, born on the hellmouth, dies.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Charmed > Xander-Centered(Past Donor)CordogFR18412,592108030,6129 May 0826 Aug 08No

A matter of trust

Starts at the end of BtVS season two and goes through season three. Haven't fully decided when during charmed it plays out, however Prue is alive, Piper and Leo are married and Phoebe is seeing Cole who is still a half-demon.

Standard disclaimer applies: I own nothing.

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It all came down to trust.

The simple fact was he didn't have hers.

Xander knew it wasn't really any one thing that stopped Buffy from fully trusting him. It was many. Not small things either. While possessed by the hyena animal spirit he tried to rape her, no matter the circumstance, something like that isn't easily put aside. Add to the fact he lied about remembering it, oh yeah, there was another nail in his coffin. Threaten to kill her? Chalk up another one. Hitting her with a love spell gone wrong? Bingo. Find out she's the Slayer by eavesdropping? One more. Some of it was for things that Xander didn't really think should be held against him. The stolen rocket launcher? He was the one that had military training forced into his head on Halloween, he should have been the one to destroy the judge. But he lost the argument on that one and revealed yet another secret that he had kept to himself.

Add it all together and what do you get?

Held up by your throat by a Buffy Summers who pays a little more attention to what you say, trying to catch your lies.


“I know Willow wouldn't say something like that Xander! What's the real message?”

Xander couldn't answer if he tried, Buffy, stressed from the whole Angelus situation was forgetting her own strength. He couldn't breathe, let alone speak. His hands gripped Buffy's arm, useless against her strength. He could feel himself passing out, a small part of himself glad, unconsciousness meant he couldn't give in and tell Buffy the truth, that even now, Willow was preparing to once again recast the gypsy soul curse. Xander worried that with the possibility of having Angel back, Buffy wouldn't put her all into the fight, thereby risking the world. As darkness claimed him, he prayed that Buffy wouldn't work it out on her own.

Buffy looked down at the sleeping form of her friend with concern. He was keeping something from her, she was sure of it. She just couldn't work out what. Grabbing his hands, she dragged Xander off the road and behind some bushes, so that he wouldn't be seen by any passing vampires.
Turning once more onto the road and on her way, she hoped it wasn't anything too important.

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Xander rounded the corner, running down Crawford street towards Angelus's mansion. Rubbing his throat he tried to go faster but breathing hurt. He couldn't believe she did that! Didn't she realize she needed backup. What if Spike was lying? What if Spike couldn't control Drusilla? What if Giles needed medical help? God, what if she worked out what he was hiding? She needed him there, not stuffed behind some bushes. Looking ahead, he stopped quickly and ducked behind a tree. Cautiously, he looked around the tree to see Spike leave the mansion with what seemed to be a sleeping Drusilla in his arms. With some small difficulty and some not so small cursing, Spike loaded the vampiress into a beat-up car, before climbing behind the wheel and driving away. Xander breathed deep in relief, gagging slightly from his sore throat. At least some of his worries were gone, but three remained. Buffy, Giles and Angelus. Xander left his hiding place and ran across the remaining yards and through the front door into the mansion.

Walking carefully, he made his way towards the back of the mansion, looking around for vampires. His mind, damn it, was running wild, filling itself with worst case scenarios. Buffy dead, Giles dead, Buffy and Giles dead, the portal open, a vampire around the corner, a pack of vampires around the corner, Angelus around the corner. He was just about to stop to calm himself down, when he walked into a room with a figure bound to a chair.

Walking in a wide circle, he studied the figure until he could see the persons profile. Giles! Closing the distance, he pulled up suddenly, getting a good look at the damage that had been dealt to the librarian.

“Oh man Giles, what did they do to you?

Seeming to hear him, Giles' head pulled up, making Xander jump. Giles mumbled something, and after a few attempts in understanding, Xander realized he was in shock. Xander began to untie him, to get him out of there, when he heard the sounds of clashing metal coming from the next room. Buffy.

“Sorry G-man, but I better check to make sure Buffy's kicking his ass”

Pausing long enough to make sure Giles was as okay as he could be, Xander entered the next room just in time to see Angelus drive his sword down onto Buffy. No. Xander paled in shock and then nearly cheered aloud as Buffy caught the blade between the palms of her hand, stopping the blade and hold it steady despite Angelus' attempt to push down harder, before snapping the sword hilt-first into Angelus' face.

Go Buffy, you can do it! Xander mentally cheered as Buffy, seemingly defeated only moments before, drove home her advantage with a series of well-placed strikes and slices, ending with Angelus defeated, on his knees and Buffy with the sword drawn back ready for the final blow. Xander tensed in grim anticipation as Buffy hesitated a look of pain and determination on her face. He had told Angelus that he would be there when died.

Then it happened.

Angelus, kneeling with a look disbelief at his defeat, shuddered, and even from a distance, Xander could see his eyes light up with eildricht power. Both Buffy and Xander could guess what had happened. The spell was cast, Angel's soul was restored. Angel said something, Xander couldn't make it out, but Buffy clearly heard. Her arm dropped, sword hanging loose in her hand, as she drew Angel to his feet and kissed him with a passion even Xander couldn't deny.

Then the nightmare started back up.

The two lovers didn't see it at first, but Xander did. Acathla's mouth opened and an orange light began to flow like treacle from within. Swirling slowly, the light began to expand until even Buffy noticed it. Xander couldn't see her expression as she looked to the vortex, then to Angel and back again, while Angel simply looked at Buffy with confusion on his face, unaware of the fate he had bought upon the world. Without a word, Buffy looked at Angel seeming to study his face, then suddenly straightened, a decision made.

She threw the sword away as if it were poisonous.

Then holding Angels hand, turned and pulled him after her. Away from the Vortex.

It took Xander a moment to realize what she was doing.


Away from the vortex.

Before he knew it, Xander was moving, cutting across the room, blocking Buffy's escape.

“Buffy, you can't run. It's gonna swallow everything, we have to stop it now before it's too late”

Buffy looked at Xander and her eyes narrowed. “You knew Xander. This is what you were hiding you bastard.”

At first Xander didn't know what hit him. He was thrown back from the force of Buffy's punch and by the time he landed and cleared his head, Buffy was gone, taking Angel with her. Panic rising within him, Xander glanced back at the vortex. Something to be thankful for, the vortex only seemed to be growing slowly. It would still consume the world, sucking it into hell, but it apparently it would take it's sweet time doing so. Xander thought back, back to when Giles was telling them about Acathla. He hadn't been paying too much attention at the time, certain that Buffy would stop Angelus from reaching this point, he did remember Giles saying that if Angelus opened the vortex using his own blood then only Angelus's blood would close it.

Quickly he started looking around for where the sword landed when Buffy threw it aside. After five minutes frantic looking, ( the vortex wasn't growing that slowly), he saw it. It seemed to have gotten stuck somehow, on the back of couch. Walking over and grabbing the hilt, Xander had to tighten his grip quickly because the sword near jumped out of his hands. It felt like holding a magnet just near but not quite on a fridge door.

Guess that answers whether or not the blood is Angelus's Xander thought to himself, as he looked at the dark stains. He was tempted to let it go but decided not too, just in case. Slowly he edged over to the vortex. Despite the pull from the sword, nothing else seemed affected yet. Reaching the event horizon, Xander tightened his grip, said a prayer and plunged the tip of the sword into the vortex.

Nothing happened.

He wiggled the blade a little.

Still nothing happened.

With shock, Xander realized he must not have paid enough attention to Giles. He was missing something, some other factor was needed. God, he wished Giles was here.

Hang on.

Turning his head he looked around, and started doing the mental version of the snoopy dance. Giles was still here. Buffy left through the other door, so she couldn't have taken him with her, therefore Giles must still be tied up in the room behind him. It was when Xander turned to go that he got his first shock. The sword was stuck. With supreme effort, Xander pulled it loose, falling to the floor in the process. Then he got the next shock. The pull exerted on the sword by the vortex was noticeably weaker and close inspection showed him why. The part of the sword that had been within the vortex was now free of blood, scoured clean. Looking at what little blood was left, Xander knew that he wouldn't be able to risk it on foolish experimentation.

Making sure not to let go of the sword he ran back to Giles, who fortunately, now that there was a risk of dying an even more painful death than torture, was a little more coherent.

“Giles, we have problems”

“Goway Gelus lemme die in peace”

Xander kneeled down in front of him and started using the sword to cut through the blood-soaked bonds.

“It's Xander Giles”

“Xander? Isit ova ? Di we win?” Giles slurred as he tried to focus on the boy in front of him.

“Sorta.” Xander answered, looking Giles in the face, trying to work out if the older man was clear-headed enough to help. At least with the last of the ropes cut, he might be able to make it out.

“Wha' hapened”

“Buffy beat Angelus but not before he freed Acathla's vortex”

“Tha's bad. Gotta closit”

“Already tried. I put the sword with Angelus's blood on it into the portal but it didn't work.”

“Couse not. Portals like a balloon try'in ta pop”


Giles sighed and fixed Xander a stare. When he was sure he had it, he raised up one hand with a clenched fist.

“Balloon” he said firmly, giving his fist a shake, showing what he meant.”Angelus used his blud to start blowen it up.”

Xander nodded, showing he was keeping up so far. Giles continued.

“Angelus started it, but hell's onna other side, blowen it up frm there” Giles demonstrated this by slowly opening his fist.

“Nuff pressure” Giles hand quickly opened all the way “Balloon pops, we'all git sucked in”

“So why didn't the sword and blood work to reverse it”

“Noh enuff pressure.” Giles closed his fist halfway, signifying the balloon/vortex that hasn't 'popped' yet. He then brought his other hand up and closed it over the fist, showing how the fist simply kept opening despite the resistance.

“How do we get more pressure on our side?”

“Godda haf mor blud onda sword”

“The sword can only have so much blood on it Giles”

“Silly boy, the bloods life”

“Life? We need Angelus's life on the sword? We've got to kill him?

“Yup” Giles replied, his head dropping to his chest, the effort of focusing proving to be too much.

Xander just looked at him in shock. Buffy knew this, it's why she hurried him away, he realized. Dazed he went back to room with the vortex. Now he knew why it wasn't sucking anything in yet. It was like a piece of rubber being stretched, and when it couldn't stretch anymore it would burst, sucking all life on earth into hell when it did.

He was trying to think of what to do when he noticed that the pull on the sword had increased again.
Looking at the sword he saw fresh blood on the blade, most likely from the ropes he had cut from Giles. It was then Xander had a moment of clarity. He ran the idea through his head, sounding it out slowly, trying to see a flaw. The sword still had a little of Angelus's blood on it, keeping it attuned to the portal. To close the portal, you need a lot of blood, which equals life. Ideally Angelus's life, but he wasn't here. Now it seems that as long as there's a bit of Angelus's blood on the blade, you could use someone else's blood to increase the pressure/power? And if you could substitute the blood, you should be able to substitute the life.

Xander looked around hopefully, trying to see if any of Angelus's vampire minions were hanging around. His smile dropped a bit as it came to rest on multiple piles of dust and ash on the ground. Of course! It couldn't be easy! He considered the vortex, giving it all his attention, while he tried not to think of the helpless librarian in the next room. Who am I kidding? I couldn't sacrifice Giles. He knew what he had to do, he just really didn't want to. He needed a life and his was the only one there for the taking.

He walked in front of the vortex, wondering if he should say anything, some final last words. He smiled sadly, tears running down his cheeks. Last words to who? Buffy? She chose Angel over everything else. Willow? She loves Oz. Cordelia? Face it Xander, you lost the right when you told a comatose Willow what you felt. Oz? Sorry buddy, but I barely know ya. Giles? Face facts! He was only really there for Buffy. Heh! What a time to realize that in the end, all you really ever have is yourself.

His internal monologue over, he kneeled down and held the sword point-first over his heart, hoping that this wouldn't hurt as much as he thought it would. He closed his eyes and turned his head away in the hope that this would make his task easier. He tightened his grip on the sword and took a deep breathe, silently trying to convince himself he had the courage for this.

One small prayer later, he forced the sword in through his chest. Nothing in his life prepared him for the pain he felt, a small cry issuing from his lips as he fell onto his side. In a small corner of his mind he could feel himself being drawn up, through the air, toward the vortex even as he felt his life's blood running over his fingers, still desperately holding onto the sword.

There was a flash of light, and then he knew no more.

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