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Draco Dormiens Titillandus

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Summary: Snape talks to a newly called Slayer from Slytherin house; or, why Willow does not go to Hogwarts.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Harry Potter > Willow-CenteredMarbleGloveFR1316725133,63112 May 0812 May 08Yes
Disclaimer: This is a Harry Potter and Buffy crossover fanfic. I own neither the characters nor their respective universes. I just sneak in upon occasion to toy with them.


Draco Dormiens Titillandus
by MarbleGlove


“But I’m a witch! I can’t go live with a bunch of muggles, no matter how mystically important they all are. I won’t give up my magic!”

“My dear girl. Yes, most of the people you will be working with will be muggles. However, you will also be working with possibly the single most powerful magic-user ever.”

“Somehow I doubt the Dark Lord is a watcher!”

“No, you stupid girl, the witch I’m talking about is considerably more powerful than either the Dark Lord or Dumbledore, and probably more powerful than the two of them together.”

“If she’s so all powerful then why hasn’t she come and defeated one or the other of them?”

“First of all, she’s American and thus not particularly inclined to deal with issues overseas. Secondly, she works to protect the world itself: we can’t very well conquer a world that’s been destroyed in the mean time.”

“I suppose that makes sense,” the girl admitted, resigning herself to her fate.

“And finally, both sides of our war have requested that she remain out of it.”

This surprised her enough that she lost the sarcasm entirely when she asked, “Why?”

“Because,” and here a note of pure pleasure entered the notoriously cranky Snape’s voice, “neither side is sure whose part she’ll take.”


“The Ministry,” Snape spoke in his lecture voice, “believes she would side with Voldmort. Her muggle parents tried to kill her when they discovered she was a witch before they were made to forget, and so she might be have reason to dislike muggles. She might also simply dislike the current wizarding government since she was a child who slipped through the cracks of the system--even if it was the American system, was never given a proper education, and only learned of the wizarding world on her own.”

“Okay, I get that, but then…”

“The Dark Lord,” Snape continued, cutting her off, “believes she would side with Harry Potter because she has two very close friends who are both muggle. She has been fighting against what she sees as evil for many years now, and is not power-hungry in the same way as most of the Death Eaters are.”

Snape fell silent but it was a waiting silence, waiting for a student to notice something important.

“The Ministry, the Dark lord… there are three sides major powers in our current struggle. What does Dumbledore think?”

Snape obviously approved of the quesiton since he answered, “Dumbledore approves of the dark arts even less than the ministry does. And Willow, the witch in question, is not at all discrete about the fact that she practices the dark arts. She has, in fact, gone on a dark magic killing spree in the past.”

“And you think I can survive studying under her?” The new Slayer was sounding worried.

“Yes. She has, for many years walked a very thin line in using the dark arts while still remaining in control. She has only slipped up the once that I know about, but almost unique to the history of dark arts, she recovered her balance.”

“Okay, that’s kind of cool.”

“Indeed. This, girl, is the witch that you will be working with if you decide to join the other slayers.” Snape’s voice was dark with desire and secrets. “I would give up a great deal to be in your place.”

“Okay, you’ve convinced me.”

But rather than end it there, Snape hesitated then continued, “Of course, if she were to fall again, she would be unlikely to subordinate herself to anyone else, but would set herself up as a new Dark Lord. If that were to happen, then she would need loyal followers, much as the ... current Dark Lord does.”

The slayer considered this, “You’re hedging your bets.”

“Don’t be crass, but succinctly: yes.”

“And if she doesn’t fall?”

“Then you will have a powerful teacher and that will be sufficient. But it is best to plan ahead. We are, after all, Slytherins.”

The End

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