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Any Man of Mine

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This story is No. 1 in the series "Shania Twain songs Inspired Ficlets". You may wish to read the series introduction first.

Summary: The last thing Seeley Booth wanted was to have a watchdog guard him practically 24/7, but in the case of one Miss Cordelia Chase, formerly of the now defunct Sunnydale, California and later on moved to Los Angeles, California, he doesn’t have much choice.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > Bones > Cordelia - CenteredFlipSideofMadnessFR1312,329132,48719 May 0819 May 08Yes
Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine. I’m just borrowing them from their respective creators.

Summary: The last thing Seeley Booth wanted was to have a watchdog guard him practically 24/7, but in the case of one Miss Cordelia Chase, formerly of the now defunct Sunnydale, California and later on moved to Los Angeles, California, he doesn’t have much choice. She was ‘Vision Queen’ and she saw something bad was about to happen to him and stuck to him like glue.

Timeline: I altered the events of Cordelia’s life for the sake of this fic. Instead of her dying in Season 5 of Angel, I just decided to make her leave LA and become a vagabond of some sort, hooking up with the Scoobies in Cleveland and helping them out in dealing with some of the Big Bads out there.

Author’s Note: The idea for this came to me while I’m at work. I just started to mentally list out some Shania Twain songs and voila! And idea for a somewhat series featuring all Shania Twain songs penetrated my mind and it wouldn’t leave me alone until I did something about it. Let me know what you think, OK?

= = = = = = = = = =
Any man of mine better walk the line
Better show me a teasin’ squeezin’ pleasin’ kinda time
I need a man who knows, how the story goes
He’s gotta be a heartbeatin’ fine treatin’
Breathtakin’ earthquakin’ kind
Any man of mine…

– “Any Man of Mine” by Shania Twain

WILL YOU QUIT FOLLOWING ME?” snapped Special Agent Seeley Booth at the brunette who was tailing him ever since he left his office in the FBI building in Washington, DC to head to his partner’s office at the Jeffersonian.

“Sorry, buck-oh, but that I can’t do,” Cordelia Chase told him matter of factly as she buckled up on the passenger’s seat of his black SUV.

Booth frowned and looked at the annoyingly sexy young woman who wouldn’t leave him alone. He made the mistake of saving her fine looking ass the other night when he happened to be at some dive frequented by lowlifes and she stood out like a sore thumb amongst the hungry perverts loitering the place.

“And why not?” he demanded.

Cordelia looked at him then, an eyebrow cocked. “You know why, buster. I just had a vision of you being in this uber serious danger and thank God it hasn’t happened yet when I found you otherwise…” her voice trailed off and she visibly shivered, her huge puppy brown eyes closed and the expression on his face told Booth that whatever she saw it wasn’t pretty.

Booth was raised a Catholic, and like some Catholics, he was a believer of the supernatural and heck, even Seers. But just because he said he believed doesn’t necessarily mean it would be easy for him to accept the fact when he was actually handed an actual living, breathing Seer!

“Look here Cordelia—”

“Man, it’s really uncanny how much you sound like Angel,” Cordelia cut him off, referring to that pansy-named beau of hers (he was assuming he was an ex-beau) and how much he reminded her of him.

Booth scowled and soon regretted it.

“Yep. Even down to that broody-scowling thing you look exactly alike,” she grinned.

That does it. He has had enough of this nonsense!

“Alright, get out. Out!” he ordered.

“What? Why?” Cordelia fumbled with the latch of the seatbelt, surprised at his sudden change of mood. “Why turn to Mr. Sourpuss so quickly?”

“Cordelia…” Booth growled.


“For Pete’s sakes…you’re trying my patience here! You claim to be Vision Queen of some sort, that you received an ominous vision from these PTBs about me and a certain slimy creature. You said you got this vision a few days ago. Well guess what? It’s been nearly a week now since you had that vision and I’m still here, in tact and slime-free!”

Cordelia stared at the man seated on the driver’s seat of the black SUV heading towards the fancy building where his partner, a popular forensic anthropologist-slash-best seller author, was working at. She was about to say something snarky back at him, but she felt that all too familiar nerve-wracking migraine that often assaulted her before, during and after the blasted PTBs fed her whatever vision they wanted her to see.

Booth glanced at the woman from the corner of his eye. He was still seething with annoyance and was glad that for once she didn’t have a comeback to throw at him. But when he saw her push herself back against the seat, the heel of her hands pressed against her forehead and she was convulsing, something told him she was having a seizure.

“Dammit,” he hissed under his breath and regardless of what kinda hazardous driving he’ll get ticketed for, he swerved from lane to lane until he pulled up to the curb, parked the car and unhooked both himself and Cordelia off their seatbelts.

“Cordelia?” he reached over and pulled her away from where she was wedged against the seat. She was whimpering and genuine tears were falling from her tightly shut eyes. “Cordelia, is everything alright?”

Cordelia could hear Booth’s worried voice penetrating her vision, but she was in the middle of a massive vision attack and couldn’t pull herself away from it. She was seeing everything in vivid non-grainy frame. It was Booth’s slimy demon doer, but instead of it attacking Booth, it was at the Jeffersonian causing havoc at the Squints and his partner.

“D-drive to the Jeffersonian,” she managed to gasp.

“What? Are you insane? You’re in pa—”

Cordelia managed to pry open her eyes and glared at the stubborn man. “I’m having a vision attack here and your Squinty friends are in danger as we speak. Your slimy demon attacker’s attacking them instead of you. So if you want to see you precious Bones and company alive and kicking, I say put the metal to the pedal, buster and drive like a maniac!” she yelled at him.

Booth was torn between making sure Cordelia was alright and getting to the Jeffersonian on time. If before he doubted her actually being a Seer, now he doesn’t doubt her. She couldn’t fake something like what she just did, could she? He pulled put his seatbelt back on and turned on his sirens. He’d be blazing through downtown DC to get to the Jeffersonian.

Cordelia grabbed her cell phone from her pocket and pressed a speed-dial number. She ignored Booth’s question on who she was calling while she waited for someone on the other line to pick up.

“Willow! Are Buffy and them ready? I found your demon and it’s attacking people now or will be attacking people soon…yes, I’m in DC where I told you the first vision pointed me to…yes, I’m with him…no, he’s driving us to the Jeffersonian…goodness, Will! Now is not the time…yes, I think I pissed him right off every time I mention that…no, you’ll meet him soon enough…are you with them in DC?...oh, that’s just too bad, maybe another time then…alright, I’ll see them there.” Cordelia ended the call and pocketed her cell phone.

“Willow?” Booth echoed.

“An old friend of mine. I’m doing them a favour by helping them track down this fugly slimy demon,” she explained.

“Fugly?” Booth echoed again only this time he was containing himself from bursting out laughing.

Cordelia rolled her eyes and looked at him. “Yes, I said fugly – fucking ugly if you want me to be way too damn specific,” she told him flat out.

“Whoa, snippy much?” Booth teased.

“Just get us to the Jeffersonian and fast. Buffy and the cavalry will meet us there and they’ll deal with the demon while you make sure your friends and everyone else the demon can slime or eat or whatever it does gets out of the way,” she told him.

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Aren’t you going to help me corral my friends to safety?”

Cordelia frowned. “You make it sound like we’re herding cattle or something.”

“Well, if this fugly demon you’re talking about is one nasty piece of work, I might need help getting my friends and everyone else out of the building safely,” he shrugged.

“I’ll be around to assist you. But my friends will probably need some backup, unless Buffy and Faith managed to bust those Potentials’ chops and they’re ready to be facing this fugly McNasty.”

Booth gave the brunette seated beside him a quick, cursory glance before turning on to the street that leads to the Jeffersonian. In as much as he hated to admit it, he’d miss this annoying and yet intriguing young woman once this whole thing with this demon she kept on referring to was over.

* * *

OK, I BELIEVE THAT’S THE LAST OF HIM,” announced the petite blonde who stood in the middle of what once was the neat and tidy space where the Squints often do their analyzing of human remains they found.

“Him?” echoed a willowy brunette who was covered in sticky slime.

Buffy Summers turned to the potential and gave her a weak smile, “I’m just guessing here. But considering it went attacking girls as opposed to boys, I think it’s safe to assume the demon was a he,” she explained.

“I dunno, B. I think the demon had the hots for the Angel-doppelganger,” Faith appeared beside her long-time comrade and one-time arch nemesis. She too was covered in slime.

Buffy frowned and took a quick sweep of the room. “Speaking of which, where is he?” she asked.

“He’s busy explaining to everyone in shock what just happened,” Cordelia answered as she entered the lab. She helped Booth get as many people out of the way as possible before the demon got to them, and she even decked the slimy sucker when it turned on Booth and wouldn’t want to leave him alone.

“Boy, that demon sure left quite a mess,” a red haired Potential announced.

Buffy, Faith and Cordelia looked around the messy lab and agreed. “Giles already called in back-up so the Cleaners will be here soon,” Buffy announced.

“What about those poor, shocked people outside?” the first Potential asked.

“Willow’s going to work some mojo on them,” answered Faith. “She’ll wipe this off their memory.”

“Will my memory be wiped off too?”

Everyone in the room jumped at the sound of Seeley Booth’s voice. Cordelia, Buffy and Faith both turned their heads to the lab entrance where Booth appeared looking disgruntled and weary.

Buffy and Faith both caught their breaths when they saw the infamous Angel-doppelganger sans the chaos that surrounded them earlier. The uncanniness of how much they looked like just bowled both seasoned Slayers over.

“Yeah,” it was Cordelia who answered and broke away from the group of Slayers and Potentials to cross the still messy room to stand right in front of the seasoned FBI agent. “Unfortunately when Willow works her magic, everyone involved here today will have their memories altered,” she explained.

Booth seemed to contemplate on that for a bit.

“What if I don’t want my memory to be altered?” he asked.

Cordelia made a face at him. “You want to remember that fugly demon that nearly devoured you if it hadn’t been for us?” she chided.

Booth grunted and looked over the brunette’s shoulder to where the Slayers and Potentials were slowly moving about, making sure each hacked part of the disgustingly slimy demon was indeed dead. He looked back at Cordelia and sighed.

“So, does this mean I won’t be seeing you again ‘coz you already saved my ass from being demon food?” he asked impishly.

Cordelia stared at him for the longest time, disbelief clouded her face before she threw her head backwards and laughed a deep-bellied laugh that was pure and genuine. Everyone in the room turned to look at the brunette Seer and the handsome FBI agent.

“What’s so funny?” Booth asked suddenly feeling self-conscious since Cordelia attracted everyone’s attention.

“You are,” Cordelia answered. “I mean, wasn’t it just a few hours ago that you were throwing me out of your SUV because I won’t leave you alone? And now you sound sad that this might be the last time you’re going to see me.”

“Well…you see…I…look, I wasn’t used to having a watchdog guard me 24/7 like what you did, alright? But regardless of how much of an annoyance you are, I kinda…” Booth’s voice trailed off, unsure on how he should continue.

“You kinda what?” Cordelia prodded.

“Well, I kinda…uhm…”


“I’ll miss you, alright? You’re annoying and all, but I’ll miss you. There, I admit it. You happy now?” Booth’s face was flushed after he admitted his feelings. God, he never felt like this since he was in junior high and he was trying to tell the girl of his dreams (back then anyway) that he wanted to take her to the spring fling dance.

“Awww….how sweet,” Cordelia cooed and leaned up on tiptoes to pinch his cheek.

“Ouch!” Booth slapped her hand away gently and glared at her.

Cordelia grinned up at him and said, “Well, there’s always the telephone, email, snail mail, airports and hey, there are also interstates that connects DC to any major highway in the country and you can always come visit me in Cleveland,” she invited. “Unless you really don’t want to see me and have anything to do with me after today, then I understand.”

“Are you crazy? I just told you I’ll miss you, didn’t I?”

Cordelia’s grin broadened. “Yeah, you did. I just wanted to hear you say it again, that’s all,” she chided.

“Why you—” the rest of Booth’s words were cut off when Cordelia met him halfway on tiptoes and grabbed his face, pulled it down and covered his mouth with hers for a kiss. It was a quick peck, with a bit of nibbling added to tingle his spines, and then it was over.

Cordelia pulled away from him and smiled. “I’ll give you a ring when I reach Cleveland,” she turned and walked back to where Buffy and Faith were waiting for her.

“Wait!” Booth called out. “You’re leaving now?” he looked flabbergasted.

“We have too. The clean-up crew’s coming and Willow will be doing her mojo soon,” she shrugged.

“So my memories of you will be wiped out still,” he looked forlorn.

“No, you nitwit. I’ll talk to Willow and tell her to exclude you from the memory altering mojo thing,” she promised and practically jogged to catch up with the two Slayers.

Booth wanted to call out to her again, to beg her to stay and not leave town just yet. But he knew deep down she had to. If this Willow friend of hers was to do a memory altering spell, Cordelia Chase mustn’t be seen or else, people would start asking questions about her presence in DC and so on.

The End

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