XANDER HARRIS: THE IRON TAU'RI
Disclaimers: Nothing belongs to me other than this insane idea I have that just won’t let go. Iron Man belongs to Marvel, Stargate SG1 belongs to Paramount. Buffy belongs to Joss.
Summary: Xander goes as one of his favorite marvel comic characters, but gets more than he's bargained for.
"Taking Baby Steps Forward"
As in out of this world alien…
As in really mind-numbingly out of this geek-o-rama-wet-dream of sci-fi and into the real world, alien…
He couldn’t help but stare at the thing; but it was hard to disprove of that fact as all the parts were laid out in 3D technicolour on top of one of his work desks with the supplemental readouts from the testing and analysis he had done sitting on the monitor to his right.
The entire collective inside his head had shut down in shock.
After a few untold minutes he shook himself out of the funk he found himself in. Once the strange weapon was revealed as being of extraterrestrial in origin, new theories pounded themselves into his head at terminal velocity. A shark-like grin graced his face at the new possibilities with what he could do with it piled up.
Amazingly, he managed to suppress the urge to cackle insanely.
If Earth was dealing in alien tech, then he would have to find out if the aliens themselves were either beneficial, neutral, or hostile. Since he had no answer to any of that, the only way to find that out was to crack certain classified government databases. For that to work, he’d better fast track his projects into the next level once he got the arc reactor up and running so he can build himself a better AI to be his hacking wingman.
And if some of the aliens the Earth had been dealing with were hostile, there would be a very heavy need for the armor. He glanced back to one of the alien weapons not being tested and took more notes into his current mainframe. While surprisingly advanced, it also looked old. The design reminded him of some of the pre-Shi’ar type civilizations.
The power source of the alien gun also gave him a third alternative solution to his current dilemma, but if he were to shoot the designs into patents, the government would no doubt realize as to where he based the new power source from and be all over him faster than white on rice. It also didn't help that some of the materials the alien gun had could not be found on Earth.
No, he was better off with his own Arc technology while he looking for a way create something similar with Earth-based materials like that into his Iron tech armor as a back up system. Better to play it safe, he thought. Deciding that he needed more info before doing anything else, he closed the file and locked it into his private server . He already planned on being Iron Man to help his friends. Thanks to the new influx of information that came to light, he would be helping to protect the planet from bad demons and bad aliens then.
As sleep started claiming him, he closed up for the night and he went to his room in the warehouse to crash for a few hours. The following weeks were going to be busy once the parts for the reactor start coming in, until then, he would have to wait.
And that was the worst thing.
As the weeks rolled by, he tried his best to divide his time equally between his friends, his projects, and his schooling. Once he got the reactor up, he made it so he can manually move it with his future armor in case he had to relocate if his current base of operation would go up in smoke.
During that time, his stock options became diversified, so he branched out into more avenues of interest. With his newfound capital, he started buying and refining most of his tech while getting rid of the some of the junk he had cobbled up in the beginning. And as luck would have it, the new OS he created when he first started was picking up. He bought the condemned CRD site and hired, through an outside source, a construction firm and had them reconstruct the place to his specifications while he shopped online for a site somewhere in California for the up and coming corporation he would set up some time in the very near future. All under a dummy corporation as a stepping stone since no one would take orders from a teenaged genius no matter how smart they had become.
But then again, it was all the same no matter where you go or what universe you were in. The system known as “Money talks, bullshit walks” is still constant.
He took the current AI down for added rewrites once the new replacement Cray he built came online and upgraded it to a point where it was almost sentient enough for his liking so he can start his own investigation into the alien tech he had first discovered. It was slow, but he could tell that everything he did was going in the direction that he wanted them to go to in the first place.
During that time, he played it cool with certain events changed in his friend’s group dynamics with whatever the Hellmouth threw at them. Though it was a bit strange from one of his memory’s point of view as some things didn’t look the way it did when one of the Tony Starks that possessed him saw the Buffy TV series, but somehow they managed to survive with little input and intervention from him. He knew some events had to stay the way they were but all the same, he made certain hints to keep them from staying true to the series his Stark memory had watched and he made some alterations when he saw fit.
He managed to resolve some of the stuff that weren’t really touched upon too much in the series according to one of the memories of one of the Stark variants. While he tried not to change them too much, he made changes anyway even if it wasn't intentional. Take the incident the Ted, after the fiasco with the psychotic robot, he was able to take note of the tech behind the not-so-human boyfriend of the Slayer’s mother after said Slayer decommissioned the walking toaster. He even thought to create one as an avatar for his AI that wasn’t as bent as Ted was. Of course he couldn’t use the tech he found in the idiot machine’s basement as that was part of the evidence that may never see the light of a court room; he would have to build one of his own later on.
And while he had the memories of the Iron Sorcerer Supreme variant running around his skull, he had little to no power within him. But that could be easily circumvented if he concentrated on making an Iron Magus version of the armor. Oh, given time, he could be a magus adept with the right training due his knowledge of that universe’s arcane hero, but he had enough on his plate right now and had no plans for the immediate future in that regard.
Although not having that much power in that area, it didn’t stop him from trying to make sure some of the maligned people like Amy understood that power was never used for trivial pursuits. He was able to have a talk with the girl and used enough examples for her to realize that she would have to change unless she wanted to be the cause of another rise in a literal witch hunt in the late twentieth century.
The adage “With great power, must come great responsibility” wasn’t as corny as can be in that regard, and he tried to get that through the young woman. Not that it got him very far as Amy was still trying to process what he had said earlier. He could only hope she wouldn’t do anything stupid down the road like the TV series suggested. It would be a shame to have her eliminated because she was the one who finally pushed the envelope in the future Willow’s addiction to the wrong sort of magic.
The biggest surprise for him by far was when he stumbled into Jenny Calendar’s true identity while doing a random background search with the newly upgraded Jarvis even after the fact that he already knew who she was through the alternate memories. Her past was only mentioned in passing in the series, but to actually find out more of it that stretched out even further to old world history was astonishing. If he read it right, she was a true Romany royalty in hiding and her father was the current king on the run.
He tried to keep all of that under wraps, unfortunately, her conscience thought better and she confessed to the group for reasons unknown, he didn’t want to make them too suspicious as to where he was getting foreknowledge but it was hard on some days where he knew he can do some good. He’d already basically admitted to the rise in his intellect to the group a few days earlier before she had her own confession when they found him doodling long division equations one day in the library out of boredom when he wasn’t watching what he was doing. They were sort of mad at first, but when he told them (with great Oscar-wining acting) that he really thought of Willow first and that he didn’t want to lose his friendship with her just because the possession jumpstarted his inner brainiac. And that he was just keeping it on the down low as to not take away the only thing that made Willow, well, Willow.
They finally accepted him after he’d danced the Scooby Dance for the umpteenth time and left it at that. Besides, Buffy was already currently mad enough at Miss Calendar, so no more fuel needed to be added to the fire. He didn’t even want to remember how much of an ass Giles had become after that little revelation.
They would probably have had a coronary if they knew just how truly smart he was, the geek-gasm alone coupled with the aneurysm Willow would have gotten had she taken one look at his workshop would bury him into the next millennium.
The only time he’d need to really step in for now was when the demon known as the Judge was reassembled and the old moron started its old habits again… i.e. wanting to rid everything of humanity.
No weapon forged by man, huh? We’ll see about that, he thought.
When the day came that The Judge was back, the old demon sang a different tune when Xander snuck into the warehouse Spike and Dru used as a hideout under an improved and less bulky stealth suit and gave him a full lobotomy as energy burst from the alien weapon at an insane rate of fire. He smiled in satisfaction as he set it to vaporize the remains that were left. He had learned to “tweak” the alien gun further the moment he took it apart and reassembled it the first time.
The weapon was just as good as his current repulsor pistols; but it was much too high in profile if the government already realized that some of it were missing. At least now the repulsor pistols were no longer dependent on D cell batteries as he created a homebrew variation on the power source the alien gun had.
The added bonus of Spike and Dru running away like ants on steroids kept him laughing as much as the parting shot from Dru as she ranted about an Iron Legion among one of many as one when they peeled rubber from Spike’s DeSoto on their way out of town.
Iron Legion indeed.
Not a bad ring to it though.
“Shit,” he cursed as he suddenly realized he’d have to keep Miss Calendar alive in case Buffy already jumped Angel’s bones in the biblical sense. He hurriedly switched the stealth suit off to conserve power and ran as fast as he could with an extra fifteen pounds of gear on him towards the princess-in-hiding’s apartment.
He wasn’t sure of the time frame in regards to her death, but he had to get to her, as in, NOW.
He summoned every bit of energy enhanced body he can muster and double-timed it to Jenny’s house in less than ten minutes. Only when he got to her door and pounded like mad that he realized that he had no idea what to say to her.
So it confused them both when the first thing that came out of his mouth when she pulled the door open as her her tear-streaked face came into view was:
“Would you like a job? I’ve got great health and dental plan benefits.”
Unfortunately, he twitched when he got a good look at her.
Of course, that was when the peanut gallery inside his head started ogling the teacher’s svelte form underneath the flimsy, revealing bathrobe that she was wearing.
And from the look on her face when her left eye suddenly developed a severe tic; he figured too late that he must’ve said that last part out loud.
The sound of a hand slapping someone’s face cemented that fact further before he was dragged bodily inside her abode and the door slammed shut behind them.
The two drunken vampires that had started following the strangely dressed teen a few blocks back shared a look as the teen in question was hauled inside the woman’s apartment.
“See that, Biggs?” The taller one of them said as they walked away from the building. “That’s a perfect example of why you shouldn’t piss off a woman by making her wait like that.”
“Poor guy,” The shorter one slurred in agreement. “Let’s go home, Wedge.”
"I tink not." a Jamaican accent intoned from the darkness as the short figure leaped out and staked both vampires with preternatural speed.
-- To Be Continued --
A/N: This chapter was kind of an odd thing to write, I wanted to get things moving fast so I am afraid I may have fudged something up, please let me know if I did a boo-boo.
Plus I also wanted to test my artistic side out and was fooling around with Adobe Photoshop. I hope the banner is passable -- if anyone has a better idea, please let me know as I am not ever sure I got it up right.
Until next time....
Props to Satori for pointing out that the word "gypsy" was a racial slur... so if I have offended anyone, it was purely unintentional.