AN: I don’t own BTVS or Dr. McNinja.
Back in Sunnydale
“Hold that thought... I smell pirate!”
With that exclamation, Dr. McNinja leapt away, bouncing silently from rooftop to rooftop.
Seras Victoria was a bit overwhelmed, and only her superior senses allowed her to keep the ninja in her sights long enough to shake off the shock. After she recovered her senses to follow the mysterious man, being loathe to let the man out of her sights for some inexplicable reason. The body of Willow Rosenburg dissolved into a swarm of bats and swooped out into the night.
She very quickly came upon quite an astonishing scene as the bats dissolved into shadow and reformed into a body fifty feet away from where Dr. Ninja had stopped. A pirate , an honest to goodness eyepatch-wearing, parrot-owning pirate was accosting a young woman dressed as an 18th century noblewoman beneath the harsh orange glow of a streetlamp.
Unbeknownst to the pirate, someone was crouched directly above him on the lamppost. Dr. McNinja dropped down between the damsel and the buccaneer.
“Good evening sir. I will be your anesthesiologist tonight.”
The pirate was irritated by the interruption of one of his favorite pirate activities to deal with some white coated weirdo in a ninja mask.
“Wot’s a sneezyologist? If ye sneeze on me, I’ll ave yer guts fer garters,” the pirate replied while sneering at him.
The pirate quickly got an educated response in the form of Dr. McNinja’s fist. The girl took one look at her rescuer and ran away screaming louder than before.
“That felt even better than usual, for some reason. Officer Victoria, shall we attempt to find the cause of these strange occurrences?”
Though she should have been surprised that a mere mortal could detect her, she was beginning to realize that this was no “mere” mortal.
“Of course. I can feel two major eldritch fluxes, one evil and one chaotic. Do we split up or stick together?” Seras inquired.
“Stick together,” said Dr.McNinja. “Whatever force summoned us here isn’t entirely evil, otherwise we wouldn’t have been summoned along with these minor demons. In fact, I find it very likely that all these creatures are from transformed Halloween costumes. Look at the decorations. Let’s head for the center of chaos. That way, right?”
Seras nodded and started to ask how he knew, but he took off once more to the rooftops.
She once again was caught off guard by his sudden departure, but then smirked and asked a question she had wanted to ask since she was a little girl.
“Just who was that masked man?”
Downtown Sunnydale, Ethan’s Costume Shop
Two shadowy black shapes hung briefly from the framework of the arbor above the shop before dropping to their feet. The unassuming shop front was home to a great chaotic disturbance centered on a bust of the god Janus.
“So if we break the spell, assuming it is a spell, do you think everything will be unsummoned, including ourselves?” asked Seras.
“That’s the way these things usually work. Some spells and curses require a specific method of reversal. If it doesn’t, we can always track down the caster, and force him to tell us,” replied the doctor.
The two entered the building, and ran into Ethan himself. He opened his mouth to speak but McNinja beat him to it.
“I feel like my doctoring skills are falling behind. How many bones are there in the body again? I bet you could assist me.”
Ethan paled measurably, perhaps realizing for the first time the magnitude of his little prank. He attempted to run off, but Dr. McNinja administered a five knuckle anesthetic to his temple.
“Should we break the bust then, luv?”
“That should do it. I don’t see any other reason for someone like him to stick around the scene of the crime.”
Seras sighed internally. She had met an intriguing man who was relatively close to her in age, and all they had done together was work towards leaving the world that they had met on. She screwed up her courage, and spoke.
“Well then luv, if we ever see each other again, how about dinner sometime?”
Dr. McNinja looked at the young mideon incredulously.
“N-not like that! I can still eat food, but I have to have blood with it or I get sick. I used to avoid blood nearly altogether, but I stopped when Sir Integra started calling me a ‘damned anorexic’ and threatening to shoot me…”
Her babbling went on in this manner for some time, but a hand eventually covered her mouth.
“Why not? If we ever see each other again, I’ll buy.”
With that, Dr. McNinja smashed the bust into a thousand pieces. A white flash, and a stink of ozone filled the air. Werewolves, demons and other temporary denizens of Sunnydale returned to more or less their original state.
Just outside the shop
Giles stood before the shop he had tracked Willow and Xander’s signatures to and paused for a moment, recognizing the name on the sign. He had painted the town red, green and yellow that night to protect his slayer, even facing down and dusting both William the Bloody and his childe Drusilla. His eyes spoke of a dark knowledge of things best left unseen, stones best left unturned, and burned with an arcane fire. His skin shimmered, and his strength was as enhanced as it had ever been in the deepest throes of his magic addiction. How had this happened?
As is the norm with the magics of chaos, there were a multitude of unexpected effects. Rupert Giles was no fool of a Watcher. He knew of Ethan’s grudge and expected his return, so he had placed a ward of order on his glasses. This would have protected him from one of Ethan’s more ordinary tricks. In order to understand what happens next, it is necessary to understand something about chaos magic. Chaos magic is nearly sentient, and despises order. However, whenever it is woven into a spell, it draws a target from its caster. Ethan Rayne was targeting the costumes, but in the end his real target was Giles, and his desire was to have his old friend back in all his glory. The spell poured power into Giles, but could not restore the corruption that had healed over the years because of the ward. The result was Ripper the Watcher .
As the spell ended, Giles cursed violently. He could feel magic still pulsing in his veins, and he knew then that he would no longer be able to function without it. At the same moment, he felt something, or rather two somethings go missing. With a growing horror, he looked inside. Ethan’s unconscious body lay upon the ground, but Willow and Xander were nowhere to be seen.
Giles fell upon his knees and wept bitterly.
Hall of mirrors on Dracula’s Moon Base
Xander shivered involuntarily, unable to move. It didn’t take much to guess that before him stood Dracula himself. He could not feel any of his weaponry at all, even if it could make a difference against him
“Hello, young spirit. I must ask you to return my adversary. I would hate to have to… persuade you,” hissed the dark prince.
Dracula quickly cast a spirit binder much like the ones controlling his ghost wizards to keep the intruder from leaving.
“Umm… I think there’s a misunderstanding here,” sputtered Xander.
He would have continued, but he felt a horrible wrenching feeling as his soul bounced briefly against some supernatural barrier back into his own body.
Unfortunately for him, said body was now in the hall of mirrors as well.
Fortunately for him, Dr. McNinja had returned.
Hellsing VIP holding cell
Willow was curled up and asleep. Integra Hellsing had forbidden Alucard to disturb the prisoner, but that did not stop him from brooding about the wayward soul that had taken up residence in Seras’ body, or from activating the special runes etched on the door preventing astral egress. Sir Integra might be willing to chance it, but he was not willing to risk his childe.
As Alucard stood at the door, a body appeared in the room with a loud pop. Without further ado, Willow and Seras scrambled to their feet, this time in their correct bodies.
Somewhere in a dark cavern beneath Sunnydale
Something very dark and ancient stirred from a deathless sleep.
“Ia! Ia!” it cried as it began to break the first of its bonds.
AN: Hope you enjoyed it. Please review! BTW, if his punch seems like Chuck Norris' roundhouse, it's because there's nothing out and about in Sunnydale that night that could really challenge him.