Chapter 3: Vampire Preachers and Explanations
Watch that wish…
Or this must be a new definition of safe
Disclaimer: I do not own BTVS Joss does. I do not own Anita Blake L.K. Hamilton does
Spoilers: Wrecked /Smashed, first part of Angel season 3 and Blood Noir
Summary: Spike decides that Dawn is not safe in the Summers household after Willow’s run-in with Rack. So they leave town. Then someone makes a wish and the world gets strange.
A/N I need a beta as my grammar sucks. Constructive criticism is always welcome as are any other comments you care to make. Baring mental breakdowns and the butchering of the English language I will try to update at least weekly.
Chapter 3: Vampire Preachers and Explanations
Deacon Mallory looked like a typical preacher that you could find in any church. He was a kind man who appeared to be in his early 30’s, his hair was brown and he had hazel eyes. He seemed to be the kind of person that you could trust with your deepest secrets. All these things were true except that he was actually about 250 years old and a vampire, but this was the LA branch of Church of Eternal Life and it was in California after all. Dawn of course did not know any of these things; all she knew was that when she woke up she was staring up at a preacher with FANGS, and she did what any self respecting Sunnydale survivor would do. She screamed for Spike and reached for the cross she knew was in the coat pocket.
The screech woke up the dazed Spike and she used her cross to force the vampire to back away. Spike did a quick scan of the room, and this only further confused him. They both seemed all right not tied up, no new injuries and none of their things were missing, assuming the bike was still outside. They also appeared to be in the oddest church Spike had ever seen. This did not correlate with the Dracula like vampire that was standing over Dawn when he had woke up. So watching the new vampire he asked Dawn, “Hey, Nibblet are you okay, or do I need to hurt the Count here?”
Dawn held the cross in front of her while she looked around and tried to see if she was hurt. The strange vampire held very still and waited for them to calm down. There was a cloth in a bowl of water near her head, her scrapes looked as if they had been cleaned-up, she was unrestrained and more importantly the only apparent sharp objects in the room belonged to her and Spike. She put her cross away and said, “Spike I think we are safe. He seems to be a white hat and neither of us looks like we were hurt; at least not hurt after the crash. So who are you anyway? And more importantly WHERE are we? Oh and thanks for helping us.” Her last words were directed at Deacon Mallory.
The deacon blinked. This was most defiantly not in the handbook, but their questions were strait forward enough, “My name is Deacon Mallory and you are in the LA branch of the Church of Eternal Life. May I ask to whom I am speaking?” said the Deacon.
Spike said, “ So we are still in LA, and this church is run by a vampire. Does everybody know about that? Also you don’t act like a demon, and I can hear a heartbeat coming from you, can you explain that? Oh and my name is Spike, the girls’ name is Dawn Summers and if you hurt her you will regret it.”
“I have no intention of hurting either of you, vampires are not demons as you should know, I’ve fed tonight so of course my heart beats, and of course people know this is a vampire church; that’s the point. Where have you been hiding the last few years anyway? And how did you survive your master doing such a poor job teaching you how to be a vampire that you can’t even feed yourself enough to make your heart beat? Also you should probably know its illegal to take blood from a minor in this country. I won’t tell since you obviously care about her, but you need to stop feeding on her till she’s 18 unless you want to end up with your name on an execution warrant,” replied the Deacon.
“What? Dawn did any of that make sense to you?” asked Spike.
“Spike do you remember Anya, and the dimension without shrimp speech?” said Dawn.
“Yeah, what about it Bit?” asked Spike.
“One I think we are in an alternate reality. Two the local vampires are obviously not demonic. Three it seems they are also recognized as existing i.e. people are not oblivious. Four they can apparently take blood from people so long as they are willing and over 18 and you may want to ease up on the pet names Spike; he seems to think you are feeding on me. That’s probably not allowed seeing as I’m only 15,” Dawn explained.
“What! I would never… Dawn you know I’d never hurt you, even if you sister wouldn’t stake me for it, and what kind of Riley Finn idiot would trust a vampire not to drain them dry, are these people insane?” said Spike.
At this the Deacon who by now was completely confused asked, “Why would we do that? We only need a pint or so a night unless we are badly injured. Most of us like being citizens, even if we are not yet equals in the eyes of the law. I take it from your response that you do not feed on Dawn and apologize for my assumption. The vampires where you are from sound far more dangerous than any I have heard of, you even believe they are demonic. If that is the case why are you in the company of one, Dawn?” By now the Deacon was wondering if maybe he should just have called an ambulance, but they hadn’t seemed that badly hurt. After their initial shock they had seemed confused, lost, but not aggressive, though he wouldn’t go as far as to say they were not dangerous. They were an unknown that he would have to inform the local Master of the City about, later once he knew what they were and why they were here.
“Wait not all demons back home are bad, some like the Whistler are good guys, a lot are gray, some are evil. Okay, so most vampires are dangerous, but Spike is a white hat, a good guy. Anyway my sister is the Slayer; pissing her off is a health hazard for vampires,” said Dawn.
Spike blinked and looked as if he was really thinking about every thing that he had heard since he woke up. He grinned then said, “ Well okay that is just neat. So not only are vampires citizens, we are allowed to feed off humans and you even have your own church: that is just neat. Now pretend I am an idiot fledge and please explain the rules, powers and liabilities of being a vampire in this world to me. I would hate to make a mistake out of ignorance.”
Dawn gave Spike an odd look; that was the most diplomatic she had ever heard Spike be. Normally Spike plus an authority figure equaled sarcasm at best and disaster at worst. If she had known what was going on in the vampire’s head she would have been less shocked. During the time he had been listening he was also contemplating what little he knew of this world. His demon was growing ecstatic: he could feed properly here and not get in trouble for it; all he had to do was play by the rules. It had to be easier than following the Slayer’s rules in Sunnydale. Also because he was a person here looking after Dawn properly would be that much simpler.
The Deacon spent the next three hours explaining his world to the strange vampire and his young charge. He went over the Addison v Clarke ruling, the laws of this country and the punishment a vampire faced if they broke these laws. He watched the new vampire’s grin widen and realized that he had no idea where he must have come from to not know anything about this country’s vampire laws, or to believe that vampires were demons, or that demons routinely walked the Earth and were not necessarily evil. Then he thought back to the girls comment about other realities. Could it be they really were from some parallel reality? He decided to assume that was the truth: any other explanation just made his head hurt. In that case, for the vampires own good of course, he decided to tell them the older rules concerning vampires: the rules that vampires had created to govern themselves before they were legal. After all becoming citizens did not stop them from being held to the old rules or answering to the Master of the City, especially in some territories. After telling them enough that they should be able to cope here and being amazed how quickly they adjusted to what must have been a serious shock he asked if they had any place to stay and if they intended to remain in LA.
“Actually,” Spike said, “We were headed to St. Louis.”
“That was before Spike said the ‘W’ word,” said Dawn.
Spike gave her a dark look, she responded with an innocent grin.
“As I was saying, we were headed to St. Louis, but before we leave LA we should probably get our paper work all squared away with the government. This appears to be a semi-permanent vacation and will probably go easier if the government knows we exist. God I hate red tape,” said Spike. “We will need a guide till then and somewhere to wait out the day.”
“I sure hope Giles told someone to put all the normal important documents in the document folder attached to the magic purse so we can access them here. This will go a lot easier if I at least have a birth certificate to prove I’m real. Even if I’m not really real,” said Dawn.
“You can stay here till we get your paperwork sorted out. First if you want to be allowed to feed we need to talk to the Master of the City, try to be nice. Then Spike at least needs to go by immigration and fill out his citizenship forms. You should also come up with an explanation social services will believe to explain why Dawn has a vampire for a legal guardian so they will sign the necessary forms to make it true here. I assume you want to stay together, right?” said Mallory.
“Of course we are staying together. So we need donuts, pizza, the contents of the documents section of the magic purse and something to write with and on. Given how badly Spike usually behaves around authority figures we need to get our papers filed first and we should go do that with our cover story in place. That way when he pisses off the local Master we can leave town as real people not illegal aliens,” said Dawn wearing a knowing grin.
“Hey! Dawn I managed to get along with Peaches all bloody day without starting a fight, well except on the phone. Oh hell, she’s probably right paperwork first then we see if I can’t get permission for a decent meal. Till then I guess it’s doctored pigs blood for me. So Mallory know any all night pizza shops and maybe a butcher that would be open at this hour?” responded Spike.
“Pig’s blood? Never mind I’m sure we can find something, after all LA seems to have forgotten the need for sleep. Now where is that phone book?” said the Deacon. He had decided to help. Maybe then they would leave town before they broke anything. They seemed harmless enough but still that was some entrance. Anyway if they decided to head to St. Louis and even half the rumors were true than St. Louis could handle these two without to much trouble. Right now he just hoped this good deed wasn’t punished too severely or too quickly. After all how much trouble could a vampire half his age and a 15-year-old girl get into in a few days?