A/N Blade Runner is one of my favorite movies and I always wanted to do a cross with BtVS. The style is a bit different for me, so tell me what you think. The title obviously is from Hery V by Shakespeare. Insert the usual disclaimers here, also I only own an old Subaru and an older Basset hound, so suing me wont get you a thing. Enjoy
WARRIORS FOR THE WORKING DAY
You know, despite how my parents were I’ve never been comfortable sitting in a bar. It’s something I’ve learned to do but when I’m given a choice I’ll set up a meeting in a park, a restaurant or a store. I mean, let’s face it; meeting someone in a bar is so cliché.
So why am I here, you ask, well I’m here because I’m meeting a couple of potential recruits and not for the Watcher’s Council; I haven’t worked for them for a while.
Why not, well the short answer is that they went bad; at least they did from my point of view, but then again the whole worlds’ gone bad in the last few years so why should the Council be any exception.
You’re right, these days the world’s in pretty sorry shape, and I blame Deadboy for the whole thing. I know what you’re gonna say, and you’d be right; I’ve blamed the guy for a lot of things that weren’t specifically his fault, from Jesse on, but this time I’ve got reasons and even facts on my side. You see when he basically decided on the whole ‘kamikaze’ play to take out Wolfram and Hart he didn’t stop to think that the Senior Partners would have a plan to deal with just such a situation, a contingency plan. Yeah, they covered their tracks pretty well, but the information was in the building and available if he had bothered to look, but he didn’t and now we all suffer so excuse me if I’m not cutting the ‘Forehead Avenger’ a lot of slack.
After the whole ‘Black Thorn’ deal the Senior Partners laid low for a while and at the time we really thought we’d beaten them; it was a kind of a Golden Age for a while. Then reality jumped up and took a big wet bite out of our collective asses. The first domino to fall was Giles and Buffy being killed. They were just sitting and talking in a park on the outskirts of London when five guys just opened up with machine guns; they didn’t stand a chance but at least they died together. As for the gunmen, well officially they disappeared; unofficially they were alive for about two weeks after they pulled the triggers before they succumbed to their collection of injuries. I once told Dawn what had happened to them, she never really looked at me the same again, but I also could see that she took some comfort in the fact that vengeance had been exacted; so I was OK with it. With Giles gone Robin took over and that’s when the Watcher’s Council started their downward spiral. Robin and I disagreed on the fundamental focus of the Council, I wanted it to support the slayers and he wanted it to amass power, and make him look good as a side effect. Now I could bore you for hours on all the little things that happened but in a nutshell, the Council went from being proactive back to reactive. At the time I was a fairly popular guy as far as the council went, heck I was even dating Quentin Travers granddaughter, but even that didn’t prevent Robin from marginalizing me to the point where the only real influence I had was on the slayers directly under my control. Dawnie and Wills still kept me in the loop and would float my ideas as their own, but Robin made it real clear that associating with me was a hazardous enterprise, especially after Linda Travers was mugged and had her face cut up with a razor knife. I got the message loud and clear and quit and that meant that what little proactive work the Council was doing stopped; and when that happened the Senior Partners made their move. During the early part of Robin’s tenure they had quietly put their still significant influence behind two small businesses, Tyrell Bio-Mechanics and Yoyodyne Propulsion systems. Now see, this is what I meant about proactive; Buffy and Giles would have been all over Tyrell in a heartbeat when his first robot came out because it was a near perfect replica of April, Warren Mears girlfriend-bot, but considering how things were, it came out and none of us noticed. Then, after I left, the Senior Partners kicked things into high gear and these two companies ‘developed’ technologies that were leaps ahead of anything else in their field. Tyrell somehow skipped the whole cyborg thing and went straight to making robots that were entirely biological (because bio-robot really didn’t fit, these things were called replicants). As for Yoyodyne; which was basically two Cal-Tech grads working out of a rather dingy warehouse, they came up with an engine that pretty much re-wrote what we knew about physics. Now of the two, Tyrell grew faster and the first company it merged with was Yoyodyne and just like that the Senior Partners had a power base again. They waited a couple of years then made their most brilliant move; they gave the human race exactly what it wanted. With the Tyrell Corporation’s acquisitions and advancements, they now could explore the stars and expand out into the solar system and far beyond and do it with a manufactured slave class taking all of the risks.
So mankind took to the stars courtesy of the Tyrell Corporation, or to be precise, courtesy of the former Senior Partners of Wolfram and Hart. And where man went, his nightmares followed. It wasn’t long before stories filtered back to earth about serial killers in some colonies that had ‘facial deformities’ and deaths due to ‘massive blood loss’ and once those got back to Robin, well the slayers went into space. The thing was they weren’t used to working alone, so teams of three Slayers and one Watcher were sent out to the colonies in danger. And as more places were colonized, more teams of slayers were sent out until the Council couldn’t properly defend the Earth any more, and what’s more, they didn’t seem to want to defend it any more. You see, by giving mankind what it wanted and by seeding the colonies with vampires; they spread the Council out so much that they couldn’t properly respond to threats on Earth, and that was the target the whole time. And as mankind became more and more de-centralized, less and less notice was taken of what was going on here. Other companies, like Tyrell rose up in other places on the earth and started controlling the governments, crime became rampant and the pollution laws were lifted so that pesky sunlight wasn’t a problem anymore and those who were smart; left. They were re-making it you see; the demons were re-making the earth into what they wanted it to be, a home for their kind; a home where humans were just moving meals.
Now you may notice that the Earth is not currently being over-run by demons so obviously something or someone is doing the job that the slayers used to do; and that someone is the organization I recruit for. Once the Tyrell Corporation hit the big time, I could see the writing on the wall and went to Riley Finn. He’d moved up in the Army and had a surprising amount of pull and together we hatched a plan to create a force right out in the open, we’d just lie about what the real purpose was. We had to move fast before the Corporations got too much power and fortunately we moved fast enough. Through connections of both Riley’s and my own, we got each major government in the world to declare Replicants illegal on Earth and had them create the Blade Runner units. It was really pretty easy, spin a story about superhumans coming back to earth and taking over and all of them were practically falling over themselves to pass the legislation.
Now I know you’re sitting there thinking “but they’re busy dealing with renegade Replicants” but that’s crap. I mean think about it logically, Replicants are a little bit stronger and faster, that’s true; but they aren’t any smarter than a human. And even if one or more could hi-jack a shuttle, which isn’t a given when you consider the security on those things, and make it back to Earth, just how much trouble could they really cause. You see, one thing you’re forgetting is the four year life-span; if they go through everything it takes to make it back they only have a fraction of that left, so more often than not the renegade ‘retires’ itself without us doing a damn thing. Sure it’s embarrassing when that happens and there’s always a small jump in the death rate but how much real damage could one, or even a group, do to a city. Sure you get an occurrence now and again, but for the most part the Blade Runner units are concerned with keeping the demon population under control. So those tests we run are mainly for show because we can ID demons pretty quickly from just their pheromone signatures or body temperatures. And when we have to ‘retire’ something publicly, then we just say it was a new, experimental Replicant that broke loose. You’d be surprised at how well that one works and after all we’re Blade Runners, the elite; who’s gonna have the stones to even question us.
So the myth is that Blade Runners deal with the almost non-existent Replicant threat while the reality is that we’re dealing with the completely unacknowledged Demonic threat. Hey, looks like my potential recruits are here, I’ve gotta go talk to them then I need to talk to a friend.
Robin, hell no I’m not talking to Robin; and even if I was it would be a rather one sided conversation.
Cause he’s dead, that’s why.
Well, I waited til I knew Faith wouldn’t be around then I went to see him, you know; a ‘bury the hatchet’ kind of thing. I said I thought he was acting strangely and put him on the machine. He came up as ‘non-human’ and I retired him right there and let me tell you, that one felt good.
Of course the machine was rigged.
Why, because he hired the guys that killed Buffy and Giles and had my girlfriends face cut up. Remember, that’s the first rule of being a detective, your prime suspect is the one that stood to gain the most, and that was Robin, plus the gunmen ID’d him when I ‘questioned’ them. After he was gone the Council left Earth so we’ve been on our own for a while, but the activation spell is still working and Slayers are still cropping up here and there. Linda finds em and gives em the basics and that kind of thing; we’ve been quietly building up our numbers, trying to keep under the bad guy’s radar.
How do I know what she’s doing, well she is my wife after all; so we do talk.
Leave her, nah; I married her less than a year after the attack.
Anyway they’re getting a lot more training now and we’re slowly working them back into the fight.
How, as Blade Runner recruits of course.
Yeah, I know these two are guys, but we can’t have all the Blade Runners be female now can we, it would be suspicious.
How do I know it’s safe to tell you all this, that’s easy. Hey, Holden, Deckard; come over here and meet this Skin Job I’m about to retire.