The God of Chaos Author:
Lady FoxFire Pairing(s):
Crossover - Stargate SG-1/Buffy the Vampire Slayer Summary:
When a god travels across several dimensions to ask Jack for a favor, will he turn him down or not. And exactly what is the favor? Disclaimer:
Stargate SG-1… nope not mine. Buffy the Vampire Slayer… once again not mine. This fic… yeap it' mine. Do I make any money from it… no but I do keep what little sanity I have because it of. I keep it in a little box under my bed. I call it George. Bad Author Note:
This is a one-shot people. I'm sorry but my Muse says there is too many ways for me to take this fic that’s it's impossible for me to pick the right path. In anyone is interesting in adopting this universe please contact me and we'll talk about it.
As the last member of SG-1 walked down the ramp, the blue glowing surface of the Stargate rippled before vanishing with one quick final flash of light.
"Welcome back SG-1." General Hammond's voice came from the speaker from the Gate room as the man watched over everything from the control room.
"Thank you, sir," Colonel O'Neill said as he shouldered his P90, "It's good to be home."
"Debriefing at 1800 .. Report to infirmary"
The members of SG-1 had just started towards the blast doors and to their usual visit with She Who Dispense Pain with Big Honking Needles when the inner track of the Stargate began to spin.
"Incoming Wormhole," Harriman announced over the speaker.
Immediately armed men and women swarmed into the gate room and into positions, their weapons pointed at the Stargate, ready for whoever or whatever came through the Stargate.
"Chevrons one is locked,"
"Close the iris," Hammond said as he stared out at the gate.
"Closing iris," a tech said as he activated the iris. "Iris is refusing to close, sir."
With a quick nod from O'Neill, Major Carter left her position among those guarding the Stargate and rushed towards the control room to figure out what was wrong with the iris.
"Chevrons four is locked."
"That's impossible," Sam gasped breathless after reaching the control room from a dead run. Handing her rifle to the guard at the door she stormed over to an empty station and started to rapidly check the system.
"Impossible or not ma'am that’s what happened,"
"Major?" General Hammond said as he spared a moment for the blond Major.
"I'm working on it, sir," she replied without looking up from the computer screen.
"Chevrons nine…" Walters said in surprise, " Chevron nine is locked."
All eyes in the control room turned towards the Stargate as the energy vortex as out flowed out of the Stargate before collapsing back on itself. However instead of the bright blue color of the event horizon everyone was familiar with, it was now a golden yellow like that seen on the trees in Autumn.
"You know that kind of looks like a glass of Heineken," Colonel O'Neill commented to himself.
"Well if this is one of your dreams would you please not include me in it," Major Lou Ferretti requested from the left of O'Neill's position. "Unless there is some naked women in it, of course."
"Pretty sure it's not one of my dreams," O'Neill replied. "I don’t have my fishing pole."
Lou glanced over at Jack. "You go fishing in the Stargate?"
"Better than following a white rabbit through it," Jack countered with a shrug of his shoulders.
Just then the surface of the event horizon rippled just as a cloaked figure stepped out of it. Almost as one all the weapons in the gateroom centered on the being as the event horizon behind him winked out of existence.
"Well this isn't exactly the type of greeting I was expecting," the being said in a deep voice male voice.
"Identify yourself and state your business," Hammond's voiced demanded from the speakers.
The figure reached up and pulled down the hood that hid his face from view and to review a person clearly of Irish descent with red hair and ivory skin. If one looked closely one would see a scattering of freckles across the checks and nose.
"Well I came here because I was informed that you could help me find someone," the man replied as he looked at window in which Hammond stood.
"And who might that be?" General Hammond replied.
"Jonathan Angus O'Neill," the man replied with a smirk. "But I think he goes by Jack most of the time."
"Angus?" Lou said as he shot Jack a quick look.
Jack growled back, "Shut up."
Hammond's eyes narrowed as he looked down upon the man. "And what do you want one of my men for?"
The man shifting in place like a little kid who knew what he was about to say might get him into trouble. "I need to ask him a favor."
"And what sort of favor is that?" Hammond inquired.
"That’s between Jack and me," the man replied. "But don’t' worry it's nothing harmful… well it might be harmful in the drive you crazy sort of way, but I'm pretty sure most people experience sometime in their life so I'm pretty sure Jack can handle it."
Colonel O'Neill looked up at the control room window and nodded his head. Pointing the end of his rifle at the floor, Colonel O'Neill stepped forward. "I’m Jack O’Neill," Jack identified himself warily. "And you are?"
"Someone, who forgot his manners," the man said as he slowly walked down the ramp towards O'Neill. "I'm Janus."
Daniel lowered his weapon as he stepped next to Jack. "The Roman God of beginning and ends?"
"And of doors and gates," Janus said with a smirk as he nodded his head towards the Stargate behind him.
"God huh," Jack said as he eyed Janus with dislike and distrust.
Janus shrugged his shoulders as if dismissing the 'God' bit as being unimportant. "If it helps Jack think of me as a more advanced being from another dimension who tries to help and guide less advanced beings in a multitude of other universes."
"And that would explain why your hair is brown now instead of red," Major Ferretti commented from his position among the other soldiers.
"Afraid so," Janus replied with an apologetic smile. "Pretty much ran the gambit except for blond. I hate blond. Everyone treats me like I’m an air head when I'm blond."
"Image that," Jack commented. "Must be a real bitch picking out a color that looks good on you if you keep changing. Summer one minute, Fall the next."
"Jack," Daniel said with frustration at the typical Jack 'open mouth, inset foot' comment. "In ancient Rome Janus is depicted as being a god with two faces… usually looking in the opposite direction. It's said he could look into the past and into the future at the same time. He is also the only Roman god with no counterpart in any other mythology."
Janus nodded his head as if in agreement with Daniel's statements. "And since mortals find it upsetting when I appear to them in that form, I came up with this" he said as if to explain why his appearance keeps changing.
"Or you could have a really successful career in politics," Jack commented. "Everyone already knows that they talk out of both sides of their mouth."
Janus chuckled. "Never had the patience for politics."
"So you play Good Samaritan by guiding us less advanced beings?" Jack said sarcasm dripping from each word.
Janus sighed wearily as he gave the Colonel the same look Jack had seen on his mother's face a number of times as he was growing up. "Jack, you're being an ass. How you ever became my second favorite avatar, I'll never know."
Blinking a couple of times in confusion over Janus response, Jack said, "Your avatar?"
"Yes, Jack," Janus sighed once again. "Through you, my will is done."
"I'm the God of change, some would even say chaos," Janus explained. "And one thing you do very well no matter where you go Jack, is to cause chaos and change."
Jack opened his mouth. Closed it. Open. Closed. Finally Jack pointed at Daniel and said "Wouldn't Daniel be a better choice for that? He’s caused way more chaos than I ever have."
Janus shrugged his shoulders. "Hermes has a prior claim on him," he replied.
"The messenger for the Gods," Daniel explained automatically as his mind tried to process what this being who claimed to be a God had just stated. "He also is responsible for taking care of travelers and thieves among others. He is reputed to have invented fire and is also known for escorting the dead to the afterlife."
"Messenger of the Gods? Isn't that Mercury?" Jack commented. "You know the guy with wings on his shoes who delivers flowers?"
Janus chuckled. "He still gets teased about that. The only reason he hasn't gone crazy over it is that Eros has worse PR than he does."
"The Roman's called him Cupid," Daniel supplied.
"The chubby baby with wings who shoots people with arrows to make them fall in love?" Jack asked in confusion.
"That's the one," Janus chuckled. "To quote Eros, 'I have rock hard abs. And ass most women want to get a hold of, not to mention other parts and they make me look like a fat baby… in diapers no less!'"
"Ah… so not a baby?" Jack said as he tried to wrap his mind around what Janus had just said.
"Hormone driven teen is more accurate," Janus replied.
"Mr. Janus," General Hammond’s voice once again came over the speaker system interrupting O'Neill before he could make a comment. "You mentioned that you need a favor from Colonel O'Neill, what exactly is this favor?"
Janus' red hair and ivory skin had been replaced by the dark hair, and olive skin tone of a handsome man of Greek descent. "Yeah the favor."
O'Neill's eyes narrowed at the sudden reminder that this man, this being was here for something. "So what sort of favor is this?" Jack asked.
"The type I'm sure you'll agree to Jack," Janus said. "First off you have to understand that I watch over a number of other dimension, guiding my avatars…
"Guiding them how," Jack interrupted.
Janus sighed. "By putting them in situations in which their actions or inaction can cause change and then letting them to do what comes naturally. For example to you think that your meeting Teal'c was an accident? That you would meet him at the exact moment in which your actions could convince him to rebel instead of remaining silent?"
Jack glance over at the former First Prime of Apophis.
Teal'c raised a single eyebrow. "He is correct. If not for your words and actions then I probably would not have broken away from the Goa'ulds."
Jack turned back to Janus. "Okay," Jack said cautiously, "that’s one example."
"If you want more examples you just have to look around you Jack," Janus replied. "Dr Jackson, Major Carter even General Hammond have been influenced by you. The Asgaurd have started to learn how to thing out of the box. They've come to the realization of the importance of the younger races and the contribution they can make since meeting you, Jack. They are see things through new eyes for the first time in centuries."
"That was Daniel and Carter," Jack said as he tried to shrug off Janus’ comment about his influence on the Asgaurd.
"And you influence them," Janus countered. "I took you and put you in the best position so you could help people. And help yourself."
Jack's eyes harden. "Charlie?"
Janus shook his head. "I had nothing to do with that Jack. Even I can not stop the Fates."
Jack nodded his head, remembering from his study of Classic Greek mythology that the Fates were the one who had control over mortal man's 'thread of life.'
"So you were explaining this favor you needed," Jack said.
"Right," Janus replied as he accepted the change of subjects. "In other dimensions I have other Avatars like you Jack. My favorite Avatar though and the one who beat you out for that position by the way Jack, is Xander."
An image of a heavily scarred man who was about the same age as Jack, with Teal'c's build if not more and wearing an eye-patch appeared next to Janus.
"This is Xander my Avatar for the dimension of the Hellmouth," Janus said as he introduced the image.
"The Hellmouth is a gateway that leads to another dimension that could simply described as Hell. Think of the planet Netu, Jack and then add the monsters from your worst nightmares, the type that think eating a new born baby is fine dining and have them populate every corner of this dimension," Janus explained. "Now image if they found a way to access another dimension, one they wanted to take over and turn into an all you can eat buffet with the doorway being the Hellmouth."
"Now standing between that door way and the all you can eat feast is Xander and a select group of warriors who are trying to keep that door closed so these beings can not cross over. And at the same time trying to keep the lesser monsters such as vampires, werewolves and a host of other creatures that have already made it into their dimension under control. Not only do they protect their own dimension but all the other dimensions beyond theirs, including this one, from the beings of the Hell dimensions because if they ever defeat the guardians of the Hellmouth and enslave that dimension they will quickly figure out ways to get to the next and the next, until all of them have been taken over."
O'Neill looked over at the image of Xander with a respect and pity. "So what do you need from me?"
"Xander was a true wild card, one that no one had predicted would appear on the field," Janus said, as the image of Xander grew younger until he appeared to be a teen about 15 or 16 years of age. "Xander learned of this secret war and to put it simply he stepped up to the bat and never looked back. And by doing so he pissed some people off."
"The bad guys," Daniel stated with confidence.
"The good guys," Janus replied. "Or to be exact some of those who should be the good guys. The Powers That Be."
"Powers That Be?" O'Neill said.
"Think of them as a different version of the Ancients only they interfere with lesser
beings. They were given the job of guiding the warriors in their day to day activities, helping them to be the Captains and Majors in the war against evil," Janus explained. "However they soon realized that the only way to stay in power was to maintain a balance between good and evil."
"Don't sound like nice guys," Jack grumbled.
"They're not," Janus replied. "They have no problems sacrificing children, children they should be helping and guiding, so they can prolong the war against evil; so that they can remain in power. They knew that once evil has been defeated and all of the Hellmouths permanently closed, that the human race would be allowed to evolve to the next stage."
"So what did this guy, Xander do that pissed them off," Jack asked.
"Something that you would do in his place, Jack. He rewrote the whole play book," Janus said his pride evident in his words. "Before Xander's interference, the Slayer, that’s the Power That Be's number one solider, was one little girl between the ages of 8 and 18, who would one day wake up to find that she's been drafted into a war she didn't know anything about. This little girl would find herself fighting a war every night without back up or support until she died, usually 6 months to a year after being drafted, after which the next girl would be drafted."
The image of young Xander change to be a series of young girls of varying ages battle monsters and often dying at the hands of their enemies.
"Xander changed all of that. When he entered the battlefield he not only took up the banner of warrior but that of the Slayer's back up, her support for when things became too much for her. He made it possible for a Slayer not only to last a single year but to last long enough to actually have a life, a husband and children. Through the people he helped recruit, one Slayer became thousands, all of them fighting in the war against the darkness."
The image changed once again to picture Xander a group of young women battling a monster with hundreds of eyes and tentacles.
Janus noticed Jack's looks of revulsion at the image of young women, children fighting with
Xander against the creature. "Don't judge him for what he and his group did, Jack. They really didn't have a choice in the matter. It was either activate all the Slayers at once or lose everything and I mean everything
"So what do you want from me," Jack said as he wrenched his eyes away from the sight of fallen girl, as Xander stood over her protecting her.
"The Powers That Be want Xander dead for what he's done, for destroying their carefully created balance. And not only do they wish him dead they want his soul destroyed," Janus explained.
Jack turned and looked at the image that was now the first image of Xander Janus had shown them.
"I don’t see how we can help this guy especially with these Power guys wanting to destroy his soul if that is at all possible," Jack said sadly as he stared at a fellow warrior who need help but one no one could help.
"Trust me, it is," Janus replied gravely, "And it something that Xander would do willingly if he thinks it would help his girls, not that his girls would let him if they knew about it. He would sacrifice his soul if he thought it would improve the lives of his girls"
"Couldn't you interfere somehow?" Daniel asked "I mean you claim that Xander is your avatar, doesn't that mean anything to these beings?
"Only to a point," Janus replied as he looked at Daniel. "You see the Powers That Be had carefully orchestrated a plan that would either end up with the death of Xander or the destruction of more than half of the Slayers, something that would have destroyed Xander if he survived. I was able to bargain with the other Gods so that I was able to save his life but in return he can never return to his dimension ever again. In addition if I am unable to convince one of my avatars to allow Xander to become part of his or her dimension I will have no other choice but to remove him from existence."
"But why?' Daniel asked. "I mean can't you convince the Powers That Be to leave him alone?"
Janus shook his head. "I am a general in this war Daniel and therefore I am unable to watch those beneath me day in and day out. It would only take a moment and the Powers That Be would destroy him and claim that it was the forces of Darkness who did it."
Janus, his skin now was darker than Teal'c, walked the rest of the way down the ramp until he was only a few feet from Colonel O'Neill. "So tell me Jack, will you accept him," Janus pulled his cloak back to reveal a small dark haired boy about 3 or 4 yrs. of age holding on to Janus's leg, "or would you have me destroy him?"
Jack stared down at the small scared little boy before looking up at Janus, his eyes filled with hate for what Janus was threatening to do to the innocent child that clung to him.
"I am the God of beginnings and ending, Jack. What type of God would I be if I didn't give him a new beginning?" Janus explained with a smirk on his face as he ignored the danger before him. "So what is it going to be? Will you accept this child, raise him as your own?"
Jack opened his mouth to reply…
"He will not," a voice suddenly filled the room, as three glowing squid-like intruders seemed to appear from nowhere. The squid-like beings quickly became more human in appearance until there appeared one woman and two males.
"Oma Desala," Daniel said as he recognizes the female intruder as the Ancient that protected his stepson and had at one time had help, he ascend. "What are you doing here?"
"Stay out of this Daniel," Oma Desala warned her former student as she glanced at her companions nervously. "This matter does not concern you."
"You're late," Janus said as he looked over the Ancients in contempt. "I had expected you here about 15 minutes ago."
"We will not allow that… boy
to stay here," oldest of the male Ancients stated glaring at young Xander as he clung to Janus's leg. "His presence here will disrupt the balance of this dimension."
"Hello Anselm," Janus said with a much put upon smile as he nodded to the oldest of all the Ancients. "While it would be a pleasure to say it's nice to you see again, it's not. What do you want?"
"As I said Janus, that boy
is not welcome here," Anselm snarled. "Take him someplace else. Find some other dimension to leave him in. He is not welcomed here."
"Ah, but it is not your choice to make, Anselm," Janus replied with a knowing smile of one who holds all the cards. "Your people gave up that right a long time ago when you decided it was easier to take no action rather than to admit to making a mistake."
Anselm crossed his arms over her chest. "We have seen what happens when our people try to help the less advanced races," he replied in a snotty tone as he glanced over at Oma Desala. "It is best for them to grow on their own without any interference from us."
"And yet here you are… interfering," Janus pointed out. "It doesn't matters though, because the choice isn't yours." Janus nodded towards Jack. "Whether Xander stays or not is up to him."
While Anselm tries to glare intimidatingly at the God of Change, who smiled smugly in returned, the youngest appearing of the Ancients quickly glance around for a solution. Finally spying Daniel who kept looking over at Oma Desala in confusion, he declared, "If you choose to allow that child to remain in this dimension, then we will be forced to deny all other lesser races the opportunity to ascend. We will refuse to aid them in any fashion."
Janus raised an eyebrow at the declaration of the young male Ancient. "I see," the God of Beginning and Endings said. "And do all of the Ancients feel the same way?" he asked looking pointedly at Oma Desala.
Oma Desala glanced over at Anselm who nodded his head pointedly at her. She then turned and briefly meet Janus’s gaze before looking away in shame. "Yes. It is for the greater good."
"We are one in this matter," the younger male Ancient answered in a superior attitude. "The boy is a dangerous and must not be allowed to remain. We have so declared it."
"How?" Daniel said. "How is he dangerous? Help us understand because you’re asking us to allow this child to be killed. Janus says that his soul will be destroyed if someone doesn’t take him in. How is that for the greater good?"
"It is beyond your understanding," Anselm replied pompously. "You must simply accept that is the way it must be."
"Hold it! Let me get this straight," Jack snapped. "The Ancients don't want this kid here because?"
"He is a danger," Anselm replied. "By allowing him to remain he could disrupt the balance as he did in his own dimension."
Jack turned to Janus. "And that was a good thing. Right?"
Janus shrugged his shoulders. "Change can be a good thing or it can bad. As a whole it was on the plus side for his original dimension."
"So he did good for his world and for his hard work the beings in charge want his soul gone. I take it so he can't be reincarnated," Jack stated as he reviewed the facts. "Now you," Jack pointed at Janus, "were able to save him but the only way to do it was by finding him a new dimension to live in and as a bonus you make him a kid again."
Janus shrugged his shoulders and gently stroked Xander's hair. "He deserves a better childhood than his last one."
Jack turned to the Ancients. "And you don't want him here since he'll upset this balance thingie. And if he stays you're threatening to stop helping people even though you don't do much to help anyone anyway."
"We allowed Oma Desala to help some
ascend that she felt were worthy, though the rules were explained to them once they had," Anselm replied as he glanced over at Daniel. "And even if some times those she chose were a poor choice."
"So it’s one soul versus the potential lives that Oma Desala might help ascend," Jack said condensing everything down into a single sentence.
"I believe that is what I originally said human," the young Ancient said with the same attitude one would see with someone talking down to a slow child.
"Colonel O'Neill," General Hammond's voice suddenly came over the speaker, reminding members of the SGC that they were not alone. "You have my full support with whatever you decide in this matter."
Colonel O'Neill looked up to the window in which General Hammond stood, then over at the Ancients before turning to Janus. "So tell me what kind of name is Xander?" he asked the God as he knelt down to the child's level and held out a hand to the boy, who looked at him curiously in return.
"Your actions have doomed all those I could have help, O'Neill," Oma Desala said sadly as she watched the boy let go of Janus and go to Colonel O'Neill. "I hope you can live with that."
Jack stood up with the young boy in his arms. "Apples and oranges. Apples and oranges."
"What do fruits have to do with all the lives I could have helped?" Oma Desala demanded.
Jack shook his head sadly at the beings who claimed to be more advanced than him before turning his attention back to Janus. "So Xander?" he asked once again as the small boy clung to him as if he was afraid that the man holding him would vanish into thin air.
The Roman God, whose appearance had nod morphed to that of a Native American, smiles at sight of his two favorite avatars. "It's short for Alexander."
"The Protector of Man," Daniel announced as he reached out and stroked the child's back to comfort him. "From what you told us he was well named."
"You chose poorly O'Neill," Anselm declared with the superior of one who knew he would make the others suffer for what they'd done. "One day you may have needed our help and now we will not be there for you; not even at the cost of your world."
"You're right," Janus snapped as he turned to the face the Ancients, his eyes narrowed with disgust as he looked upon them. "You won't
"What do you mean by that?" the young Ancient demanded, his contempt for Janus evident in his voice and in his posture.
A cruel almost evil grin appeared on Janus's ever-changing face. "It means you will be facing the same punishment as the Powers That Be."
"You can't do that," Oma Desala sputtered for the first time showing some real emotions instead of her superior than you attitude. "What about my work? What about all those beings I've helped? The rules I've broken?"
Janus crossed his arms over his chest. "What work? Do you mean the work in which you were be guiding people, helping them overcome the temptations of those we fight against offers them?" he asked. "Because I'll tell you right now you were doing less work than the Powers That Be were doing! The only Ancients who were trying to do their job were Merlin and Morgana and for that reason they will be spared your fate."
"But… but…" Oma Desala stammered. "But I've helped people?"
Janus snorted. "To little. Too late. Beside little girl you just agreed with the others to refuse to help others because of one person."
"But he's a chaos bringer!" the young Ancient squealed as he pointed at Xander who was resting his head on Jack's shoulder, his thumb in this mouth. "He'll disrupt everything, just like he is right now."
Janus raised a single eyebrow at young Ancient's statement. "He's my avatar," he declared. "Of course he brings change. I am after all the God of Change."
"Janus, I have a question if you don't mind?" Daniel asked nervously as if he was afraid to anger the being that was more powerful then the Ancients before.
"And what does the avatar of Hermes would like to know," Janus said teasingly as he turned his attention to Daniel.
"Umm…. Ahhhh…" Daniel stuttered at the reminder that he to was an avatar.
Jack chuckled as he gentle rocked the nearly sleeping child in his arms. "Hey your Uncle Daniel is speechless. We'll have to mark this down, this is definitely something not to forget."
"Jack!" Daniel exclaimed in exasperation as he turned to his friend.
"What?" Jack said with a confused looked on his face; the corner of his eyes were crinkled in mischief.
Daniel huffed in frustration at his friend’s antics before turning the God Janus. "I was wondering if you could tell me how the Ancients will be punished. You see my family… my wife's family they ascended before Anusbis could destroy their world."
"Your family, all of who ascended with the help of the Ancients will be given the chance to choose if they want to descend and start anew or to pass on," Janus explained.
"And what of the Ancients?" Teal'c said speaking up for the first time since this stranger appeared.
The members of SG-1 and Janus turned and looked at the three ascended Ancients whose faces were showing various reactions to the news of their fate. Oma Desala glared angrily at Janus and at Jack and the child in his arms. While Anselm's shoulders were slumped in defeat. Meanwhile the youngest of the three Ancients looked back and forth between the other two older Ancients in confusion.
"You could say they along with the Powers That Be are being demoted and given latrine duty," Janus explained. "They will be sent to a new universe in which they will be flesh and blood. They will have to begin anew."
"Mr. Janus," General Hammond said over the speakers. "Do you think you could help up with Anubis."
Janus nodded his head. "He's already been dealt with along with the Ori. Give it a couple years and you won't have to worry about the Priors."
"Ori? Priors?" Jack asked, his concern about these unknown possible enemies was evident in his tone of voice.
"Don't worry about it, Jack," Janus replied. "You just have to deal with the Goa'ulds and the Replicators."
"Sure, leave us all the fun ones," Jack grumbled.
Janus smiled smugly. "Got to keep you out of trouble somehow Jack," he said. "Now before I go, there is a few things you need to know, really important things."
"Okay," Jack said cautiously.
"To start off with," Janus said as he held up one finger, "Xander now has half of your DNA now so you don't have to worry about someone trying to claim his as their 'missing' child."
Jack glanced at the sleeping child in his arms with a content smile.
"Also I made sure Xander didn't have any health problems or allergies when I de-aged him," Janus explained. "Also he's very smart but he's also self sacrificing. He'll hide his intelligence in order to let his friends shine just like someone else I know." Janus eyed Jack as he subtly reminded him of how Jack hid his own intelligence.
Jack shared a smirk with Janus. "I'm sure Uncle Daniel and Auntie Sam won't let him slide on that."
With a snort Janus commented, "Yeah I can't see that happening with those two."
"There's nothing wrong with learning," Daniel added in. "Maybe he'll even be able to explain things to you Jack so you can understand them."
Jack rolled his eyes as Janus chuckled.
"Let's see we else we're forgetting," Janus mumbled to himself. "DNA, health, smarts…. Hyenas!"
"Yeap!" Janus replied with a grin. "Hyenas. You need to try to keep Xander away from hyenas. Of course if you find out that you can't then don't worry too much about it. You'll just probably end up with them as pets when they follow him home."
"Why would they follow him home?" Jack asked almost dreading the reply that was to come.
"When Xander was a sophomore in High School he ended up getting possessed by a spirit of a hyena and since then it seems like any hyena Xander runs across that’s a liking to him," Janus explained.
"Yeap. Xander's been possessed by a spirit of a hyena and that of a soldier," Janus stated. " He was also nearly turned into a mercreature in either his Junior or Senior year.
"What a mercreature?"
"Think Creature of the Black Lagoon but with teeth," Janus said with a grin as he rocked back and forth on his heels. "From what his ex's claim Xander can hold his breath for a long
time because of it. Takes to the water like he was born to it."
"Any other tidbits you forgot to share?" Jack growled.
"He loves Twinkies," Janus commented good naturally.
"Yeap. They're spongy goodness."
"Think of it this way Jack, you won't have to share your Jell-O with him," Major Ferretti comment as he appeared next to the Colonel.
"Went to baby-sit?" Jack asked with a vicious grin
"Only if you want to watch my girls," Lou replied with his own grin in return.
"I believe O'Neill once claimed it would be safer to attempt to defeat Anubis’ army with a knife than to watch your offspring, MajorFerretti," Teal'c commented.
"Hey!" Ferretti sputtered. "My girls are good girls!"
Teal'c bowed his head slightly. "That may be so but I have heard many tales of your children's adventurous nature. I believe there was one tale about your youngest and a toilet seat and the need to call a rescue truck."
"Well… yeah but…. I bet you 50 bucks that Jack's kid will be worse," Lou said as he struggled for a save.
While Major Ferretti tried to defend his daughter’s honor, Dr Jackson grabbed Jack's shoulder, leaning in closer he said, "Jack. What about the N.I.D.? You know they're going to want to get a hold of Xander once word gets out about this."
"Over my dead body," Jack snarled dangerously which attracted nearly everyone's attention. "There is no way they're getting their hands on my kid."
"If you're talking about Nincompoops Idiot Department I won't worry too much about them," Janus commented. "Let's just say that Xander has a number of powerful friends; friends who want to see Xander safe and fairly happy. Anyone who tries to kidnap him or hurt him… well they won't be a problem for long."
"Comes with his own Army," Jack said.
"Nah just bodyguards," Janus commented. "He left his army behind on his home world."
"I know I'm forgetting something," Janus said as he tapped his chin with his fingers. "Oh yeah you need to keep Xander away from any types of explosives since he'll probably be able to remember how to build a bomb. Same with any firearms, rocket launchers, flame-throwers, crossbows… pretty much anything that could be used as a weapon."
"Damn! The kid's sounds like a one man army," one of the Special Forces soldier commented.
"He was one of highest ranking males in the Slayer's army after all," Janus explained. "Furthermore when the kid says something is wrong, listen to him. Don't know who gave the kid the power but he can see."
"See what?" Jack asked with dread at the new things that Janus might drop on them.
"What you do not," Janus replied. "Just listen to Xander and you'll figure it out. You should be glad you don't have to worry about demons trying to kill him, eat him, mate with him or any combination of the three."
"Hellmouth dimensions. Remember?" Janus explained with a shrugged his shoulders. "For some strange reason they keeps thinking of Xander as the cat's meow."
"Are you sure he shouldn't be Daniel's kid," Jack said as he held the sleeping Xander more securely in his arms. "I mean most of the females of whatever species seem to like Daniel a whole lot."
"Hey!" Daniel said in protest.
"Only if I want to trouble magnet version of a black hole," Janus commented. "However I would be careful with him around aliens. You never can tell how things will go."
Daniel opened his mouth to protest then closed it. Open. Closes. Open.
Janus raised an eyebrow at Daniel as he waited for Daniel to comment but after watching Daniel imitate a fish, Janus turned his attention back to his avatars. "Well that’s pretty much it. You'll probably have a God or two dropping in now and again to check up on him. Probably will be Artemis and Aphrodite since they have some things invested in the boy."
"The Goddess of the hunt and Goddess of love?" Daniel squeaked as he finally found his voice once again.
"That would be Goddesses like you not take over the world and enslave everyone type?" Jack asked.
Janus sighed in irritation. "Yes Jack. They're like me. Although I suggest you be on your best
behavior when any of them visit. I don't really want to find out I have find a new father for Xander."
"You might want to start search right now," Major Ferretti chimed in.
Jack glared at his friend over Xander's sleeping head. "You do know they have an opening in Antarctica."
Ferrite's grin seems to grow even larger. "And I'm sure the General won't mind sending you."
Janus shook his head sadly. "I'm starting to wonder who should I pity more, this world or Xander."
"Xander," General Hammond's voice came across the speakers once again. "Definitely Xander."
"Xander is a pretty unique kid," Janus commented. "He'll probably retain most of his skills and talents. He might even regain his memory of his previous life but that up to Mnemosyne to decide not me. But when it's all said and done he's pretty much the same for any other kid."
Janus smiled at the sight of his avatars, of Jack hold the sleeping Xander in his arms. " Oh and don't worry too much if he starts to burp up blue flames, they're pass in a couple days. Bye." And with that Janus disappear taking the Ancients with him.
"Blue flames?" Jack echoed. "What do you mean blue flames? Janus? Janus? Come back here damn it!"
Up in the control room, Major Carter had rushed out of the room for the gate room as General Hammond stared down at his people while Colonel O'Neill tried to call the God Janus back to explain himself.
"Blue flames," Hammond whispered with dread.
"Oh I won't worry about it," a voice suddenly said from next to the General.
Turning to face the intruder, Hammond came face to face with the God Janus.
Janus eye's sparkled with mischief. "I lied to him about that. I just couldn't leave him without something to worry about. Now can I?" And with that Janus vanished once again.
Hammond chuckled softly. "I have a feeling life around here is going to become very interesting, very shortly.
The End… Maybe