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Hello, Beautiful

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Summary: Captain Jack Harkness meets someone that won't be so easy to bed. One-shot.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Dr. Who/Torchwood > Fred/Illyria-CenteredFaithLestrangeFR1511,1491212,70829 Jun 0829 Jun 08Yes
Disclaimer: Neither Torchwood or Angel is mine. This is just for fun. Don't sue.

A/N: Just a little something I wanted to write. It came to me when I was watching a few Dr. Who episodes with Jack in them. Plus I needed a little break from writing my other story to clear the cobwebs out. Anyway hope you like it. :)

“Hello, beautiful.”

Jack Harkness approached the thin brunette who had been standing in Roald Dahl Plass square for the better part of two hours staring at the ground right above the Hub. Gwen had noticed it on the cameras and thought someone should check it out.

Jack decided to take the initiative. After all, he could never resist a pretty face. Hopefully she wasn’t dangerous. It would be wonderful if he could get a great night out of this little encounter. Maybe a little danger wouldn’t hurt either. Or maybe it would. But hell, that was okay too.

The woman took a moment from her vigil over the spot on the ground to lift her eyes uninterestedly.

“I do not wish to copulate with you.”

She went back to ignoring him and knelt to the ground to feel the cement beneath her palm. Her speech pattern was odd, definitely not how a normal person would try and subdue his advances.

“Playing hard to get, then? That’s okay, I like a challenge.”

He unclipped his stun gun from his holster just in case this did turn ugly. The girl didn’t look dangerous, but he knew that didn’t mean she wasn’t.

“He’s gone.”

The girl stood and turned her head slowly to look at him. Her posture was stiff and inhuman. Jack’s hand tightened around his gun.

“Who’s gone?” Harkness frowned. Maybe the girl was just crazy. He could deal with crazy.

Her head tilted oddly and she actually took the time to look at him for more than a second.

“Where is he? You muck are still walking this world, bold as brass. If he were loose…you would be dead. Your screams would smother the earth. He would be bathing in your blood. Reveling in your entrails.”

Maybe a nice night in the sack was out of the question with this one. It seemed her idea of fun wasn't quite the same as his.

“Who are you talking about?” Harkness looked down where she had been staring. His eyes widened in realization. “You don’t mean… You don’t mean Abaddon... do you?”

He swore that her eyes had flashed an ice blue but when he looked again they were still brown. Jack pulled out his weapon and was instantly wishing he’d opted for some backup. At least eventually somebody in the Hub would see on the cameras if things went south.

“You know of the Devourer.” She stepped closer and he lifted the stun gun out at her.

“Why don’t you come with me and we can talk about this with a few of my friends, Miss…?”

She glared and didn't offer him her name.

“Your weapons are useless against me, primitive. You will cease your attempts to threaten me with your children’s toys.”

“My, you’re cheeky.” Captain Jack grinned, “Mind telling me who you are?”

She turned away from him.

“I am the one who created this rift in time and space. Here in what you humans now refer to as Cardiff. I created it for the sole purpose of trapping Abbadon forever in the abyss of time. Eternity in nothingness. Suspended. Such was the only punishment fitting of his crime.”

This was certainly turning out to be anything but a routine investigation.

“And what crime was that? Being atrociously large and ugly? Or maybe, I don’t know, that whole devouring life thing?”

“Neither. He threatened my rule.”

Jack readied his gun at her back and responded sarcastically, “Oh, that is bad. Terrible.”

“He was angry with me. Angry about my role in the capture of The Beast. His father. He attacked my temple, killed my Qwa'ha Xahn. I could not let such an insult go unpunished.”

Jack hoped to incapacitate her so that he could take her down to the Hub. Maybe Torchwood could get a better handle on what he was dealing with here. She turned to him just as Jack fired his gun. The electric charge from his gun just absorbed into her chest. She didn’t even flinch.


The girl knocked the gun from his hand and grabbed him by the throat.

“You will tell me where he’s gone.” Her eyes flashed blue again and stayed that way.

Her hair and the skin near her scalp streaked bright blue. Then her clothes melted and shifted into some kind of tight red leather armor.


She released her grip on his throat, but pinned him against one of the pillars in the plaza by his right shoulder. People began to shout and run out of the square. Hopefully his team would be coming out of the lift soon. Jack rubbed his sore throat with his hand.

“He’s dead. Destroyed.”

Her head tilted again, “Impossible.”

Jack just laughed, “Talk about cocky. You think you’re the only one how was capable of stopping him?”

She tightened her grip and he hissed in pain.

“I do not. I simply have not seen any being capable of defeating Abbadon here in this time. He, like me, is… or... was a creature of ultimate power. Only one his equal could hope to destroy him. So I say again. It is impossible.”

Jack was getting annoyed now.

“Improbable maybe. Not impossible. If you really want to know…. I am the one who destroyed him.”

The blue alien examined him skeptically, “How?”

Jack figured he would just throw caution to the wind and tell her the truth.

“I’m immortal… I made him try to kill me. He absorbed too much of me and it destroyed him.”

She released him and dropped her hand to her side, “But you are human. How can you be immortal?”

Harkness shrugged, “Long story, beautiful.”

“That is not my name.”

Jack leered, “Then what is your real name, beautiful?”

“I am Illyria.”

The door of the shack entrance to Torchwood HQ swung open and Gwen stepped out with Ianto and Owen behind her. She had her gun held out toward them. She was shouting in their direction, yelling at Jack's newest friend to get her hands up.

Illyria simply smirked as they ran toward them.

“You primitives… always traveling in packs. Like rabid dogs.”

She turned to leave, but Jack grabbed her shoulder.

“Wait! I can’t just let you leave!”

Her eyes lit up in annoyance at his presumption.

“You are immortal, like you said?”

Jack nodded, “Yeah, why?”

Her lips curled into a smile, “Then I can do this and it won’t upset my Wesley.”

Jack didn’t like the sound of…

He felt his forearm snap in two with a sickening crack. Then, the last thing Jack Harkness saw before the darkness consumed him was a leather-bound fist. It was followed by the sound of his skull fracturing into thousands of pieces.

He was definitely going to be sore in the morning.

The End

You have reached the end of "Hello, Beautiful". This story is complete.

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