I don't own the characters or ideas behind BtVS, no money has or will be made from this fic.A/N:
Written for my card: Virginity/Celibacy & Roleplay or AU – Authority Figure
Like A Virgin
Spike smirked at Xander and asked, "So, I'm a virgin?"
Xander nodded as he pulled off his T-shirt and reached for the white button-down shirt that was hung up. “That’s right,” he said, slightly distracted by his current task of fastening the too small buttons.
Spike’s smirk became a grin. “And you’re a cop?” he asked, his voice reflecting his amusement.
The brunette looked at him, glaring with his one eye. “Could you please at least try and take this seriously?” he huffed.
The vampire let out a bark of laughter. “Oh, I’m trying, pet, believe me…I really am.”
The eye narrowed slightly.
The blond held up his hands, palms facing Xander in a gesture of surrender as he bit his lip to try and stop himself from laughing more.
“So,” Spike began, once he had his amusement back under control. “What exactly is this cop gonna do with the virgin?” he asked, attempting to look genuinely interested and innocent at the same time. “He gonna arrest him and then show him the error of his ways?”
“Are you sniggering?” Xander accused as he looked at the blond vampire. “Because that looks like sniggering.”
“Am not,” Spike managed to get out. Then the dam burst and he was all out laughing again.
“I knew it!” Xander waggled his finger at the other man. “Just for once why can’t you indulge me when I tell you one of the fantasies I’d like to act out?”
“Sorry, pet, it’s just… you’ve got to admit, the whole idea is completely ridiculous.”
“Why is it ridiculous? It’s not as if your vamp and victim fantasy wasn’t completely deranged…I mean, who the hell would ever see me as the seducing vampire anyway?” he snorted before carrying on. “But did I laugh? No! Did I mock? I so didn’t. And was it fantastic? Actually it was pretty freakin’ hot. So why do you feel the need to make fun of me? It can’t be any more ridiculous than your fantasy!”
“C’mon, Xan. I’m not exactly virgin material now am I? I’m a hundred and fifty years old for fuck sake. And even if I could pull that shit off, you’re never gonna be a convincing copper, with the best will in the world you just ain’t the type,” Spike tried to explain to him.
“What do you mean, with the best will… I’ll have you know I could be a damn fine cop.” Xander pouted at him, annoyed.
“I’m not saying that you wouldn’t make a good cop…”
“Actually, that’s exactly what you said,” he pointed out as his shirt was tucked in and he threaded the leather belt through the loops in his black trousers. He reached for the stab jacket he’d acquired for the occasion and started to pull it on.
“I just meant…”
“You just meant that I’m the same old Droopy Harris I was when I was seventeen and you didn’t want a taste,” Xander cut him off again.
Spike was speechless; he didn’t know how to respond to that. It wasn’t true, it absolutely wasn’t but he couldn’t find the words to express himself without it sounding trite and corny.
Xander angrily fastened the Velcro straps that secured the stab belt before fastening on the gun holster and putting his weapon in it. “Well,” he told him assertively as handcuffs were clipped to his belt, “If you’re not interested in my little fantasy, Angel will be.”
The vampire’s jaw dropped but before he could respond, the door slammed shut. “Bugger!”