Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer belongs to Joss Whedon and Frisky Dingo belongs to Adam Reed and Matt Thompson
Spoilers: Post “Chosen”
A/N: Killface’s speech is taken from the first episode, Meet Killface
“Buffy, you’ve got some mail,” Dawn surprised her sister by dropping a package in her lap. Dropping down beside her, Dawn picked up a magazine and lazily flipped through it.
“From the Cleveland headquarters,” Buffy muttered as she ripped the package open. “A video tape? Who sends a video tape?”
Setting the ripped package aside, Buffy stood and walked the distance to the television and the VHS/DVD combination set up. Placing the tape inside, Buffy backed away and sat back down, remote in hand.
“What the hell?” Frowning, she stared the screen, a demon, or at least, she thought it was a demon, was sitting in a purple office chair with the bones of another demon acting as the legs of it. He was completely white, like Willow’s hair doing white magic white and his eyes were bloodshot. And were those hooves for feet? And hey, a demon with an English accent.
“ I . . . am . . . Killface. Don't bother flicking your infernal remotes, I've taken over your airwaves. Now, I trust you're all comfy on your tacky sofas from Rooms-to-Go, lots of nibbles close at hand? Well, tuck in! And why not smoke between gobbles? Yes, go for the gusto America! Live like there's no tomorrow, because as far as you squallid lot are concerned, there very much isn't . . . . Behold!”
The camera switched again to some yellow piece of machinery that looked quite large and possibly deadly.
“The instrument of your doom! I call it: The Annihilatrix! And when it is completed, a million gigatons of thrust will propel the Earth, directly, into the Sun. So look upon my works ye mighty, and despair.”
“Um, what?” she was still confused.
Dawn reached around Buffy to pick up the discarded package and noticed who sent it. “A slayer must have gotten their hands on the tape and thought he might be a threat.”
“And are we handling this?” Buffy finally turned away from the screen. “And how?”
Noticing the note that was attached, Dawn plucked it out. “Looks like Andrew took care of it.”
“What’d he do?” Buffy asked once Dawn finished read the note and heard her snort.
“He got a guy to take care of him.”
“Isn’t he that superhero guy? And don’t we know who he really is, cause that suit isn’t really fooling anyone around here.”
“Xander Crews, yea,” Dawn nodded.
“The billionaire playboy. Do I even want to know how Andrew got him to do it?”
“The letter says no,” Dawn shrugged.
“Isn’t Xander Crews... an... idiot?”
“Yup, so we might wanna have some slayers on standby when he eventually messes up. Cause he will.”
I only wrote enough to whet your appetite, so if you haven’t seen Frisky Dingo, I suggest you do.