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It's Not Him

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This story is No. 1 in the series "Hyena Blues". You may wish to read the series introduction first.

Summary: Buffy hesitates - non-consensual/rape warning

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
DC Universe > Surprise CrossovercmdruhuraFR215078,0004120115,32016 Jul 0826 May 14Yes

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Rating: R - Violent imagery
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters. I receive no profits from this. It is just for fun.
Archiving: Please ask.
Feedback: Constructive Criticism desired.
Beta: None.
Summary: Buffy hesitates.

AN – Thoughts \\I am thinking.//

AN – Mental communication *Who are you?*


Xander really wished he could talk to someone about what he’d learned from Willow’s mind. Willow’s obsessive thoughts of him and her becoming a couple. Willow’s paranoia about Buffy’s motives for helping her in her campaign to make him her boyfriend instead of just a friend. Willow encouraging Buffy to start a relationship with any male as long as it wasn’t him. The depths of hatred Willow had felt towards Buffy for killing him, even though it was an accident. Finding out that it had been the shock of finding Buffy’s ‘body’ and realizing she had no other close friends that had made her feel remorse for that hatred.

Unfortunately, there weren’t many candidates to choose from. Buffy would have been an option but he had no idea where she was as he assumed she had already left Sunnydale.

Aura was out because she was currently sleeping. At least he hoped she had been able to get to sleep. But, even if she were awake, he probably wouldn’t be able to talk to her without risking her deducing his identity.

Giles and Miss Calendar would be out as well for ‘secret identity’ reasons.

Whistler was about the only one he could actually talk to anyway. However, not only did he not trust the Balance Demon, he had no way to contact him other than shouting into the ether and hoping he’d show up. And he wasn’t quite desperate enough to look foolish, even if only to himself, to do that.

\\Might as well check up on Mrs. Summers and make sure she’s alright,// he mused. \\At least as alright as she can be thinking her only daughter is dead.//


The Summers’ house was dark when he arrived. However, before going inside to check on Mrs. Summers, Xander did a visual sweep all around the house to ensure there were no threats lingering nearby.

When he did enter, it was through the front door. It would have felt odd for him to enter any other way. Other than his actually going through the door itself, it was the familiar way he had previously entered the house and the normalcy of it felt good.

He could tell there was only one person in the house. Apparently tapping into the Slayer Essence earlier to detect Potential Slayers also made him more sensitive to feeling and seeing the auras of everyone. Since he hadn’t run into any vampires or demons yet, he wasn’t sure if he could detect them or not though.

Though Joyce herself, at least he assumed Joyce was the only occupant in the house, was blocked by the walls and floor of the second story, he could still see the outer edges of her aura from the direction of what must be her bedroom.

While Buffy had only been in town for a few weeks and he had only visited a few times, Xander had felt more at home here than his own. Even more than at Willow’s even which he’d preferred to his own home.

As he thought about it, he concluded that it was because of Joyce. Willow’s place was nice and pleasant, a gazillion times better than his place, but even when her parents were home it seemed more sterile when compared to Buffy’s. He knew Joyce was the reason.

Not for the first time he wondered what Whistler’s Bosses had done to convince Buffy to put her mother through such anguish. He definitely planned on asking her if they ever ran into each other again.

He slowly drifted up the stairs. At the top of the landing he stopped and looked at the closed door to Buffy’s bedroom. Snippets of memory flashed through his mind of the time he’d been in there and she’d accidentally flashed him as she put on her boots while wearing that short skirt. He’d been embarrassed and turned on in equal proportions at the time. Later on he imagined she’d done it on purpose to tease him. Now, after reading Willow’s thoughts, he was certain it had been accidental as Buffy was already giving Willow advice on how to get him to notice her as a young woman and not just as a friend.

Thinking of Buffy made him stop and wonder what was going on with her. So much had happened, to him anyway, in such a short period of time that he hadn’t really contemplated what affect everything that occurred to her would have on her, starting with his death. Whistler had indicated Buffy had had a hard time dealing with being responsible for his death and he knew it was true from Willow’s and Aura’s memories. Whatever The Powers had done to convince Buffy to go along with the charade of being dead and knowing the pain it would cause her mother, he was certain it only gave her more anguish to deal with.

\\Unless they gave her amnesia or made her think she was someone else,// he mused.

He shook his head at the thought, \\Unlikely. I doubt they’d be that kind.//

Shrugging off the melancholy of his thoughts, Xander drifted towards Joyce’s closed bedroom door. He only hesitated for a moment before passing through it.

Once inside the room, he saw Joyce lying flat on her back in bed with the covers pulled up to cover her chest and only her arms and head really visible. If it weren’t for the two silky red straps visible going over her shoulders, he would almost believe she slept in the nude.

Brushing that random thought roughly aside, he checked out her aura as well as her face. Whereas Willow’s had been a roiling of colors, both when he’d seen her in the courtyard and at Giles’, Joyce’s were more ordered, more sharply defined, if somewhat muted.

For reasons he couldn’t name, he just knew that part of the reason for the dullness was due to her age and possibly her grief. Not all of it however. He just knew there was still another cause he could not readily identify. Xander resolved to ask Aura to do some research on auras. His English teacher would have been astonished that he was aware that doing so could be classified as ironic on several levels. Especially given that it was Aura’s aura that marked her as a Potential.

Xander spent a few more minutes observing the sleeping woman and assuring himself she was okay. Or as okay as any mother who’d just lost a child could be. She didn’t seem to be having any nightmares or undo stress fidgeting as she slept so he left the way he came.

Joyce slept in the same position he’d seen her in the whole night. Such were the effects of the Powers’ influence to keep her from becoming a distraction to their new Guardian.


When he left the Summers’ house, he wasn’t sure what to do for the rest of the night. He decided he would keep close to Aura once she headed off to school even though she wasn’t planning on him ‘joining’ her until later in the day for training. He believed it to be prudent to stay close to her in the early stages of their ‘relationship’.

Then for some odd reason he decided there was one more place he needed to visit before just idling around town.

Of course he would need to do some searching as he had no idea in which cemetery he’d been buried.

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