A/N- I do not recommend anyone Self Injure, even though I am a so called 'cutter'. Please, before you pick up the blade, talk to some one.
I own nothing still, this is pretty much me writing because I have vampiric plot bunnies.
Dawn gave Oz a wry smile as they moved the gear into the blues bar where they were to play that night. She watched as the petite man talked to the older guy, the other band members setting up the gear. She however took a seat by the bar, only half watching the band set up. Since she still hadn't gained control of her clumsiness- unless she had a sharp object in hand, she had been forbidden from helping this part of the setting up.
She frowned and rubbed her head as she wrote in her journal, words in a neat hand in a code that she had decided on- a code based on Sumerian and Latin. She frowned as a sharp faced man took a seat beside her and she eyed him suspiciously. "Whatever you want I'm not interested." she told him, not bothering to cover her writing. If he was smart enough to figure the code, he could read all about it.
"Who says I want something? Perhaps I just want the company?" the mans voice was cultured and Dawn gave a snort.
"One, I'm underage. Two the band is my family" Dawns lips curled into a smile as she watched Oz step over to them. She bounced off the stool "Three, I tend to eviscerate guys that get grabby." she tilted her head and gave a soft laugh "Of course, if you just want the company, I'm Dawn, Dawn summers"
"Adam Pierson" the sharp faced man took her hand.
"Excuse me, are you any relation to a Buffy Summers?" the bar owner asked and Dawn looked at him suspiciously through her multi colored hair. Oz had really been a bad influence on her since the fall of Sunnydale and her own graduation / roadtrip. If only Buffy had let her go on her roadtrip without the escort. Then again, she had been having fun with the Dingoe's.
"I work in the same field as Rupert Giles." the barkeep must have read something in the girls expression for him to react like that.
Dawn started muttering in Sumerian about nosy watchers keeping an eye on people as well as a few creative insults that left the bony man snickering into the beer that had appeared.
"Dawn, language." Oz's mouth was twitching slightly, even as the barkeep blinked.
"Sumerian?" he asked. "He taught you Sumerian?"
Dawn shrugged "What can I say, Watcher's teach old dusty languages to impressionable teens" her eyes were laughing, even a she put on a very bubbly valley girl attitude "And, like, he even like taught me to like, use them sharp pointy things, you know?" she batted her lashes before looking at the band. "Ready?"
Oz gave a grin "Ready."
Dawn closed her journal with a snap and went to the stage, her voice taking on a soft husky quality as she took the microphone. "Hi I'm Dawn, we are Dingoe's ate my Baby, a band traveling around, seeing the sights. I have to say, we are enjoying it here in Seacouver" she started to sway as the band members started to play the first song. "This is a cover of the song Cut, by Plumb" she introduced the song, thumb tracing the scars on her wrist. She had cut more then that one time, on Buffy's birthday, when she found out that she wasn't real. This was her way of getting the word out about self injury.
The words came to her naturally, voice flowing around the music, heartbreaking, aching and bittersweet. She couldn't stop the tears that flowed at the last verse, the verse that always touched her deeply.
But I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I found it when
I was cut.
She continued with the set, accepting a cold drink of water from a young redhead guy that had joined Adam at the bar. She frowned as Oz came close, whispering in her ear.
"They know something Dawn." he told her, both of them looking to the pair at the bar. "They are talking about you, something about being pre-" he winced as the amp let out a squeel and he shifted to put the girl behind her. "Next set is due. I have their scent, if they leave, I can track them."
Dawn swallowed hard. "Okay." she murmured, taking her place with the rest of the band. They played a few more songs, before finishing up with one last song one she had written herself.
Is this blood, am I real
Acrid taste on my tongue
Acid lightning in my veins
Lost little girl taken in
These pretty little gifts
These pretty little lies
I don't want it anymore
take it away
I can't feel anymore
Take me away
Darkest of days drowning
Tar coated feelings
thick and acrid
fighting to feel more
wanting to feel less
Don't want to lose this
Don't want to find myself
Hiding and lost
Taunting and crying
Piece by piece
Puzzle of despair
A fractured mosaic
Shattered pieces of mirror
Distorted echoes of hope
Lies to keep me sane
The Lies I tell myself.
The final song done, the band started to pack up. They were actually relieved when the bar started to empty out, leaving Adam and the bar owner, Joe. It was a persistent Dawn that stepped up to him, face serious. For once she was glad of Spike's parting gift (once he had become corporeal again) as the long coat let her hide her knife (fine- it was closer to a short sword) in a special made spine sheath.
"So." she looked at them, face so very unimpressed "What do you know about me?"