Title: Sirius Finality
Series: Sirius Romance
Author: Jinni (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Disclaimer: All things BtVS belong to Joss Whedon, et al. All things HP belong to JK Rowling, et al.
Distribution: Anyone who already has previous parts of this series can have this one, too.
Author's Note: Final piece in the Sirius Romance series. Sorry guys, need to wrap some fics up so I can start some new ones.
She knew the day was bound to come. The day that an owl came. The day that he got that look on his face, the one that said something had happened. The kind of look that meant that he had to go. To leave. Sunnydale. Her. Buffy and even Dawn, who had grown so attached.
It wasn't Dawn's disappointment that was currently cutting Willow like a knife, though; it was the pain that the thought of him leaving was already causing her. He had been her lover and friend, even a teacher at times, for months. And now. . .this. When things were just looking like they would keep going right.
Willow sighed and closed her eyes tight against the tears that were threatening to start again. She was hiding in Dawn's room, away from Sirius. She didn't know if she could face him right now. Not while he was slowly packing up the sparse things that he had accumulated over their time together. She didn't know if she could bare to watch as slowly he made his way out of her life, leaving an irreparable hole in her heart.
Harry, his godson, was in trouble again. Trouble of a serious sort, it seemed. She hadn't wanted to pry and was sketchy on the details, but knew from the look in Sirius' eyes that there was no way he would even consider letting someone else handle it - and she wouldn't ask that of him. Harry was his family and she was just some girl that he met and spent some time with. Maybe something a little special, but no where close to being enough to deny one's family for.
And, like she said, she wouldn't ask him to. Family was supposed to be number one; she would do the same if she had to. Give up love for duty. That was how she had lived her life for years, and she couldn't ask anyone else to do differently.
She opened her eyes at the first timid known on the door, knowing instinctively who it was going to be. Buffy had taken Dawn out for some ice cream to help cheer her up. That meant that there was only one other person in the house. The very person that she didn't want to deal with yet.
A tiny sigh escaped her lips, resolve coming over her. She would be strong. For him, for herself.
He stuck his head in first, long black locks swaying against the doorframe. "You're hiding from me."
"Am not." She argued. It wasn't the truth. She wasn't hiding from him, per se; just the pain that seeing him brought to her.
"And you've been crying." He sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed next to her. "I wish I could stay, you know."
"You can come with me. . ." He let the offer dangle into the air, like a carrot on a stick. She knew even as the words left his mouth what her answer would be. It was an answer she had practiced in front of a mirror since she found out he was leaving, just to be sure she said it convincingly enough.
"I can't. I have responsibilities."
He nodded, as if it were what he had expected as well. "I'll be back, you know."
She smiled sadly, nodding; not trusting herself to speak. He said he'd be back, but she doubted it. It wasn't that she felt as if he were being untruthful, she just knew how life was. It would interfere and interfere until, one day, there was no point in him coming back. But, for now, she settled with, "I know."
"Are you sure you can't --"
"I'm sure." She sat up, leaning her head on his shoulder. "I'm going to miss you, Siri. But I can't just abandon Buffy like that. Or Dawn."
He nodded, laying his head on hers, the silence stretching around them like a warm blanket. Maybe if they just didn't speak this wouldn't be real. They could put it off indefinitely, let time keep passing them by.
It was a silly fantasy, and one that Willow struggled to hold onto. But, in the end, it was she that broke the silence first.
"When are you leaving?"
"Tonight. A friend has arranged a portkey. It'll activate at seven tonight."
Willow bit her lip, as if the gesture could hold back the tears. She straightened slowly, pulling him back onto the bed with her. If they only had a few hours left, she would make them something for him to remember for the rest of his life.
One second he was there, the next he was gone. The portkey having activated at exactly seven on the dot. Willow put her hand to her mouth, sobbing around it. She could still taste him on her lips, where he had kissed her one last time.
"Come on," Buffy whispered into her ear. "Let's go inside and eat some double chocolate fudge ice cream."
The red head nodded, her mind and heart empty. She let Buffy pull her along, step after slow step, into a house were Dawn was already asleep, too tired from crying to stay up to see Sirius off. That was better, Willow noted absently. She wouldn't want Dawn to see her like this anyway.
"He'll be back."
"No," Willow shook her head. "He won't."
Buffy smiled sadly, neither denying or acknowledging what her friend said. Her eyes spoke the truth, though. She didn't think Sirius would be back, either. His was a different world, one that he had returned to; and Sunnydale was far, far removed from that world.
Willow put the spoonful of ice cream into her mouth, closing her eyes and losing herself in the memories that it brought. Of Sirius face the first time he had tried this particular flavor. He had loved chocolate in all forms.
She would remember him like that. A chocolate lover.
~*~The End and End Series~*~