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Oops! I did What, again?

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Summary: There was booze which led to tattoos. Now the question is whose is whose?

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Harry Potter > Multiple PairingstootsFR1328422199,01723 Jul 0831 Oct 08Yes

Oops!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All recognizable characters belong to people far smarter than I.

Xander was not a happy man. There was a tattoo on his wrist. It served him right, though. He’d been told over and over again not to drink with the Slytherins. His only consolation was that Faith, Dawn, and Gunn had gotten just as drunk and wound up with tattoos of their own.

It was a pretty tattoo, he had to admit. Celtic runes interwoven around his wrist until they ended in a Celtic knot right over his pulse point. It was very pretty. But he didn’t want a tattoo. Especially not this tattoo. This tattoo was a marriage mark. Things like accidental marriages and new body art by way of excess booze were only supposed to happen in places like Las Vegas. Not England. Especially not Wizarding England.

But that’s what you got when you hung out with Draco Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson, Millicent Bulstrode, Blaise Zabini, and Marcus Flint. They were the nasty, snobbish malcontents who were only on the side of the light because the alternate was vastly unappealing. They’d glued poor Neville Longbottom to Illyria and nobody could talk them into removing the spells.

Xander liked them, though. They reminded him of Cordelia. Too smart to be flakes and too bitchy to be well liked. He’d liked them better before they’d gotten him drunk, gotten him a tattoo, and then gotten him married, of course. They wouldn’t even tell him who he’d married.

Their toast had been amusing, though. “The only Muggles worth knowing,” they’d slurred grandly. That had been right before the tables started dancing. At least, he thought the tables started dancing. When drinking with the magically inclined, it was nearly impossible to tell if the impossible was really happening or…if you were just that drunk.

Xander sighed and kneaded his wrist. He looked up at them and said, “Guys. You’ve got to tell me if this is for real. And if it is, you have to tell me who I’m,” Faith stomped on his toes, “who we’re married to. Giles is going to shit kittens one way or the other but I’d like to have all the facts before I bring this to his attention.”

Marcus grinned nastily. “Oh, the tattoos are the genuine article, my friend. Got them in Knockturn Alley and everything.”

Draco smirked. “As for who you’re married to, well…”
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