Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Dick Grayson belongs to DC and Buffy and the gang belong to Joss Whedon.
Chapter 1. Where the Heck Am I?
Officer Richard Grayson was momentarily and uncharacteristically off balance. One minute he was in the police cruiser with his partner Amy Rohrbach, the next he was on a street corner. He was still in his police uniform, his other uniform was underneath. After a quick check he noticed all the strange and deformed creatures running around. Some tried to attack the little old lady who was handing out candy.
Most of the deformed ones were the size of small children. There were a few large ones around as well but the immediate danger was to the old lady about to be mauled. He rushed into the middle of the swarming little monsters and scattered them, getting them away from the old woman, who was on the ground unconscious. Scattering the little terrors took more effort than he would have thought. They obviously were Metas of some kind.
"Xander!" A young lady yelled as she came running, dressed in a revealing outfit that flattered her body. He couldn't help himself as he secretly ogled her.
'I have always been and always will be a sucker for red heads.' Dick thought.
"I am sorry miss, you must have mistaken me for someone else. I'm officer Grayson, by the way, you wouldn't happen to know the name of this town would you?" Dick asked the stunning red head.
"Xander quit joking around. You're not a a police officer, you're ... Oh my god. You're like everyone else. You dressed like a policeman and now you're a policeman, the children turned into their costumes just like you did, but what about me, I don't feel any different?" she said as her hand passed through his hand. "Oh my god!!! I dressed up like a ghost and now I'm a ghost as well. We need to fix this come on we'll need to get Buffy and tell Giles. They'll know how to fix this." She managed to babble the entire conversation at light speed. For some reason he was able to follow along without any difficulty.
A loud shriek startled Willow as she recognized the voice, that shriek belonged to Buffy. "It's Buffy! We have to help her." she said as she raced off in the direction of the shriek.
Dick followed her. If someone was in trouble it was his job to help. He raced after the sexy red headed phantom, he couldn't help but admire the provocative display while he ran behind her. 'Eye candy is eye candy, even if you can't and in the case of the phantom teen shouldn't touch. But what a view.' he thought. He came to a sudden stop behind Willow.
He saw a beautiful black haired girl in a Victorian costume, cowering in front of the blaring headlights of a car that from the smell of the burning rubber in the air, must have stopped just in the nick of time before slamming into the girl. The vehicle's driver was yelling at the teen to get off the road, the teen however was screaming "Demon!!" over and over, at the top of her lungs.
"Buffy you're alright." Willow said as she tried to calm down the confused and frightened teen. Dick moved the girl from the middle of the road to the sidewalk, before she could respond to the red heads inquiry, behind them the car sped off as soon as they cleared the road.
"Are you alright miss?" Dick asked the frightened girl with some concern. The girl was distracted from replying to the harlot that dared talk to her, she was looking at the handsome face of her savior. She noticed that he was tall and strong, in a blue uniform that had a shield proudly displayed on his broad chest, prominently and in an attractive manner. 'He must be a knight or a guardsman of some sort.' she thought.
"Thank you for rescuing me, kind knight." lady Buffy said demurely. "Who are you?" she asked.
"We're friends." Willow answered.
"Friends of whom? Your dress...Everything is strange. How did I come to be here?" she asked, almost hyperventilating.
Willow reached out but stopped when lady Buffy flinched away from the contact. "Breathe Buffy, okay, breathe, you're about to faint if you don't." she turned to Xander and said "How are we supposed to get through this without the slayer?"
"What's a slayer?" Dick asked the girl who kept on calling him Xander after he had already told her his name.
A monster surprised them as they rounded the corner. It jumped at lady Buffy all fangs and claws ready to rend. But Dick quickly pulled her behind him and unleashed a flurry of blows with his billy club that took out the monster without much trouble.
'Wow!' thought Willow.
'Oh my. How manly.' thought lady Buffy.
Dick said "We should get out of the streets. Is there a place we can go?"
Another vehicle came driving down the street with its headlights on and lady Buffy again started to scream " A demon! A demon."
Willow said "That's not a demon, its a car."
"What does it want?" lady Buffy asked.
"Is this woman insane? How long have you known her?" whispered Dick.
"No. It's like she's never seen a car before. We've been friends for a little over a year now. You should know this Xander." Willow whispered back forgetting in her panic that her friend wasn't Xander at the moment, she turned to lady Buffy and asked '"What year is this?"
"1775, I believe." lady Buffy answered.
"See what I mean. She turned into her costume. Did you turn into your costume? she finally asked Dick.
"Yes I think your friend went as me. It would explain why this girl is acting this way." Dick explained.
" I see." said Willow. "Whereas you went as something that empowered you, she went as something that turned a superhero, into lady helpless, you're right we have to get out of here. Buffy's home is just down the street. Come on." she said as she led the way to Buffy's house. "What's your name by the way?" she asked.
"My name is Dick Grayson." he answered.
Willow stopped in her tracks and looked at him. Really looked at him for the first time tonight. She saw in front of her a proud and confident man. Who clearly was not afraid of the madness that was going on around him. On his chest the badge had his name. It said Grayson.
After a few encountered incidents, on their way down the street, they finally made it to Buffy's house. Willow showed Dick where the spare key was kept under a flower pot, he opened the door. They trooped inside, Dick did a quick scan of the house. "Looks all clear." he said as he came down the stairs.
"Where are we?" asked a confused lady Buffy.
"We're at your place." Willow told her.
There was a banging on the front door and Dick went to investigate. Willow and Buffy stayed with him.
"Don't open it." said Willow.
"It could be someone who's in need of help. I can't just turn my back." he said to her as he went to check it out from a small, glass window on the side of the door.
Buffy noticed a picture on a table and went to look at it. She picked it up and saw, it was of her wearing a spaghetti strap top. She turned around as Willow came over to her.
"This... this could be me." She said as she scanned the picture, not accepting what she was looking at.
"It is you Buffy, can't you remember at all?" She asked the distressed girl.
"No! I, I don't understand any of this! Uh, uh, th... This is some other girl! I would never wear this, that low apparel, and I don't like this place, and I don't like you, and I just wanna go home!" she almost screamed in anger, frustration but mostly fear.
"You are home." Willow told her distressed friend.
"She couldn't have dressed up like Xena?" She said, she turned back to Dick to see what he was doing at the door.
Meanwhile Dick moved away quickly from the door, just as a monster punched through the glass and reached for him. It pulled its hand back when, he did a quick and painful double strike at the out stretched hand. Which was quickly withdrawn with a painful yell.
Yet another scream was heard in the night, Willow raced to the window. She looked outside. She saw Cordelia in a cat suit, followed by a large, hairy shaped creature. "We have to help her." she said in slightly panicked voice.
"I'll get her. Keep an eye out for our helpless friend." he told Willow, he raced out the damaged door.
Dick raced out the door and went out to rescue whomever it was, he overheard Buffy as she asked Willow "Surely he'll not desert us!"
"Whatever." Willow shook her head getting fed up with the way her best friend was acting. She rolled her eyes and went into the living room. Buffy was wide-eyed with fear.
Cordelia screamed, she was running from a Sasquatch."Somebody, help me!"
She looked back at the monster chasing her and screamed. When she turned back around again, she ran into Xander.
"Xander! Help me!" She screamed. What she didn't expect was when Dick jumped and vaulted over her shoulders like a circus acrobat and slammed both feet into the hairy beast's face knocking it over.
"Come on, hurry before its back up. Follow me inside!" He said, he led her back into the house.
Willow watched everything through the window. Dick and Cordelia quickly came in through the door.
"Cordelia!" said Willow as the cheerleader walked in with Dick behind her.
"Wait a... what's going on?" asked Cordelia.
"Okay, your name is Cordelia, you're not a cat, you're in high school, and we're your friends. Well, sort of." Willow explained in her famous babble.
"That's nice, Willow. And you went mental when?" said Cordelia in a sarcastic tone.
"You know us?" Willow asked her, surprised as she saw that she did know them.
"Yeah. Lucky me. What's with the name game?" she asked.
"A lot's going on." told her Willow.
"No kidding. I was just attacked by Jo-Jo, the Dog-Faced Boy. Look at my costume!" She said, she shows them the torn sleeve. "Do you really think that Partytown's gonna give me my deposit back? Not likely." she told Willow in a huff.
Dick took his shirt off and put it around Cordelia's shoulders. "Here."
"Thank you." Cordelia said and thought, 'The dweeb really is sensitive beneath that clown mask he hides behind.'. "What are you wearing she pointed at the dark long sleeved shirt that was underneath his service shirt.
"Its my bullet proof vest." He said quickly.
"I didn't know they came in those colors. If I did I might have gotten something like it when the weird stuff started happening when she showed up." Cordelia said, she pointed in lady Buffy's direction.
"Okay. You guys stay here while I get some help. If something tries to get in, just fight it off." Willow said.
"Well, i-it's not our place to fight. Uh, surely some men will protect us." lady Buffy spoke out.
"What's that riff?" Cordelia asked Willow.
"I-it's like amnesia, okay? They don't know who they are. Just sit tight." Willow told her.
"Who died and made her the boss?" Cordelia asked out loud.
Willow walked through the wall behind Cordelia. Buffy stared in wide-eyed amazement.
Outside chaos ran rampant through the streets. On a corner a bleached blond vampire looked around in wonder. Several monsters were chasing people down the street past Spike. "Well! This is just... neat!" he said.
End Chapter 1.