Characters/Pairing: Xander Centric. Dean loving implied (SLASHY).
Word Ct: 800+
Author Notes/Summary: The show and characters are not mine but in my mind I still wish they were. Xander becomes the seer for light, who does he bond with Angel or the brothers? Total AU oneshot…but I might be tempted to do some snippets, who knows with my muses. Heck this fic came about from listening to Jennifer Hanson’s “73.” Oh and it's very rough and un beta'd cause I'm oh so tired and lazy right now.
Leaning his back against the cold cement wall, he sought balance. He found himself paging through a thin album, barely filled and trying not to cry. Looking through the few remaining photos from Sunnydale, Xander was in awe. Things had changed so much for him and the others; there was no town to call home, and now after the last couple of years no friends to call on so to speak. Xander had originally opened the boxes he had in storage with the intentions of pitching them. However, sitting on the dusty cement floor he finds himself frozen in time, sifting through his memories.
The famed yellow crayon, spilled milk, spilled tears, and plenty of broken hearts along the way had been just the beginning of his growing up. Death and demons took the starring role in the majority of his memories. He’d spent the same amount of years in ignorance that he did fighting the evils of the night. He’d gone from healing Willow’s hurts with words and hugs to causing some of her biggest pains. He’d killed his first best friend in defense of others and it had not only pained him to do so but almost killed him. From blood brothers to a friendly triad the two remaining had been torn and wanting. The two grieving went on to find a sad replacement for their trio in Buffy and Xander found regret within himself for that choice everyday. Their lingering pains and angsty attacks on each other had been tough but it was usually reciprocal at the very least. After Jesse’s death Willow had become his sister, they were twins, they were the ultimate Hell mouth Gemini or had been before things had truly self destructed in front of them.
Once again, after saving the world Willow had to make a choice. To choose between her lover at the time and her brother, either way Xander liked to think that her heart had broken when he made the choice for her. The pain that involved almost made his choice stupid and worthless, but at the end of the day, he knew their separation would only herald change. After all that was what the separated Gemini did best; chaos and change, pain and pleasure. But in their demon-infested world, he chose to do things the hard way. It had been time for him to strike out and maybe make his own way into the world of champions and heroes. No matter what his loss of an eye prophesied or brought about, he knew it was meant to be done on his own; at least for a little while. Like Angel had, the Scoobies support so Xander would have his beloved Willow’s support. Their bonds would outlast even the longest love and at the end of the day that gave him comfort when he walked out the door. Because he knew that when he needed it, the door would always be open.
And when they had all arrived at Cleveland things had come to a head. Screaming matches between the two women had evolved into all out tug of wars that Xander, in good conscience just couldn’t handle so he’d left. And looking back at the last 5 years or so, he was glad he’d left. He still had his spies, Faith who still professed an innocent love for him and his admiring fan Andrew. They let him know the big news on Buffy and Willow’s latest love affairs all the way, down to how close the last apocalypse had come. But in reality, Xander had been fighting a battle of his own. He still sought to destroy the bad guys but now he had acknowledged his place.
In the past he’d always wanted the grandeur and the entitlement that came with leading but now he knew true familial or team love you could call it. He’d been a seer now for the light the last couple of years ever since his run in with two rough and tumble brothers who wanted to fight the whole world. Or so it seemed, soon he found out that the two had been just as wronged in demon terms as he had. He found comfort and solace in Dean’s arms and brotherly love once again with Sam. All it had taken was the destruction of that vengeful demon always tailing the brothers, a special spell Xander and Dean had found to save Sammy from his visions that had been slowly killing him, and his own adjustment to being a font of demonic knowledge and visions. It had been rough, but Xanders spiritual and metaphysical disposition was much more worthy of receiving such tormenting visions. It seemed Odin and the Oracles had been waiting for him.
He was just thankful he’d been given a choice, originally he’d been meant for Angel or some devil’s play toy named Zeke. He still shuddered at the thought, at least he understood the brothers, always the underdog but in the end never the loser. And as he looked up, hearing the loud raucous laughter he had to chuckle himself. Sometimes things had a way of looking up or not Xander quickly thinks when he stands to bum rush Dean AGAIN from clotheslining Sammy with a dull axe.