No One Expects
The Center Cannot Hold
Dawn giggled as she watched Sherlock try his fighting skills out against another group of baby Slayers. He was going to get his arse handed to him again, but that didn’t stop him from trying.
Having him at Slayer Central while he rode out the aftermath of Moriarty’s death was working out better than Dawn had expected when Mycroft Holmes twisted her arm into doing this. At least, it was working better for the Slayers and Sherlock.
It was hell on Dawn, though. She felt awful about lying to John. (Even if it was more withholding information than lying. He was going to be furious.) She was the one who confronted the evidence of how badly John was taking Sherlock’s ‘death’- it was real for him. He was falling apart, and Dawn couldn’t avoid seeing it on a daily basis. Sherlock, for all he didn’t deal well with neurotypical human emotion, had only been able to handle seeing it once. After that, he’d stayed away.
Sherlock rationalized it, of course. Said it was for John’s own good. Dawn knew better. It was because he didn’t trust himself not to break down and end this torture for all three of them. Biting The Bullet
(Sherlock/Law & Order: UK)
“DI Lestrade is on holiday, sir,” the older detective told him. “I’m DS Brooks and this is my partner DS Casey.”
Sam gave a politely neutral smile, trying to conceal that he didn’t like this one bit. What the hell did they need an outside consultant for? He knew, though, that if he said it out loud and ruined this meeting, DI Chandler would have his arse.
“Former alcoholic, been sober several years, but recently tempted to take up drink again, probably when your partner was killed. Not completely sure about this young pup the Yard’s saddled you with, though he’s not entirely fond of you either.”
“Sherlock…” Alesha said warningly. She’d dealt with him before. He might be a royal pain, but he got results- usually results that would get convictions.
“Right, I’m on my best behavior, because otherwise you’ll leave me to my countryside boredom,” he replied resignedly. “Let’s have it then.”
“Let’s have it?” Sam repeated incredulously.
“You wouldn’t have driven all the way out to Gloucestershire if you weren’t desperate. You’ve hit a dead end. Your choice is go against the grain and let me try or wait until he kills again.”Something's Bugging Me
(Law & Order UK/CSI)
“We’re in luck, guv,” Ronnie said cheerfully. “Turns out one of the world’s leading experts on bugs that like corpses is in town. He’s giving a seminar over at Queen Mary. Thought we’d pop over and ask Dr. Grissom if he might have a look at our evidence.”
DI Chandler sighed.
“Two outside consultants on the case now? CPS is going to have a fit. Go before I change my mind.”
The two detectives waited outside the lecture theatre until the students had filed out before they approached.
“Dr. Grissom? Detective Sergeants Brooks and Casey. Wondered if we might have a word, sir?”
Gil Grissom nodded.
“We were hoping you might be able to look at some evidence in a case we’re currently pursuing.”
Grissom glanced at the photos and information in the folder they handed over.
“You know, I saw something like this once before,” he said. “The killer was aware of modern forensics and brought his own bugs to throw off the police timeline. It almost worked.”
“He brought his own bugs?” Casey asked, shaking his head in astonishment.
“Never underestimate the lengths people will go to when they’ve reached the end of their tether, son,” Ronnie advised.A Real Friend
(CSI/Big Bang Theory)
Sara ducked out of the room. As soon as the door was safely shut behind her, she burst into laughter.
“It’s not that funny,” Morgan said. She’d been observing the interrogation from the safety of the two-way glass.
“Come on,” Sara gasped. “It totally is.”
“Sara, he helped his friend hide a body!”
“Because he was contractually required to!”
Morgan shook her head. If she didn’t know both their suspects were theoretical physicists, she’d have thought they escaped from a lunatic asylum.
“What kind of fruitcake puts that in their rental agreement?”
“Ah hem! I can hear you, you know! And it’s not the rental
agreement, it’s the roommate
agreement. The roommate agreement covers all contingencies!”
The two women looked at each other.
“How the hell did he hear us from in there?” Morgan whispered.
“Because, ladies, Dr. Cooper has exceptionally sharp hearing,” a new voice said.
“D.B…” Sara began.
“It doesn’t matter right now. We know he hid the body, but do we think that he or Hofstadter actually killed the victim?”
“Honestly?” Morgan asked. “I’m pretty sure if Dr. Hofstadter hasn’t killed Dr. Cooper after living with him for five years, he’s too even tempered to kill anyone.”Our Lady of the Nerds
(Big Bang Theory/BSG)
Sheldon regarded his visitor with some suspicion. It was true he’d overheard Howard telling Leonard about it, but he’d never thought that something like this could happen to him.
“I don’t understand. I am in a relationship with Amy Farrah Fowler. She forced me to upgrade our friendship agreement to a relationship agreement. Why are you appearing unto me? Shouldn’t you be talking to Leonard or Raj?”
Starbuck sighed. This was honestly the worst afterlife ever, stuck as some sort of patron saint of lovelorn geeks who didn’t know how to act on it. Granted, she’d probably done plenty in her life to deserve it, but still. After that Wolowitz guy in the bathtub, any possible penance ought to be done and over with.
“Because, Sheldon Cooper, reluctant though you may be to admit it, you are a normal human male, and you have the same emotions and urges as the rest of the species.”
“You’re saying I’m attracted to a girl?” Sheldon’s voice cracked with outrage. “That’s outrageous! I am a scientist!”
“Well, that or you have split personalities and one of them wants to get it on with your neighbor across the hall,” Starbuck snapped. “Which is it?”Somebody Had To Say It
Starbuck smirked. Apollo was in for it. Buffy ‘Slayer’ Summers was furious with him, and unlike Starbuck, she didn’t have a history of striking superior officers, which meant if she did happen to wipe the deck with him, she might have to spend a few hours in hack, but that would probably be the end of it.
Lee went sprawling at the first hit.
“Apollo, you need to get your head out of your ass,” Buffy said. “I realize it’ll be something new for you, but who knows, you might like it.”
“You are so out of line,” Lee snarled, scrambling to his feet. “What happened with Starbuck before patrol does not concern you.”
“Am I?” Buffy demanded. “I don’t think so. When you act like a jerk because you missed your moment and Gaius Frakking Baltar didn’t, that concerns me. When you tear my friend down because you’re an immature idiot who doesn’t know when to speak up, that concerns me. But most of all, when you affect other pilots’ combat readiness with your issues, that concerns me, because that puts us all in danger. Sort your head out, Apollo. Or I’ll take this to the Old Man.”