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The Great Brain Robbery

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Summary: Response to MarcusRowland's They Stole Buffy's Brain challenge. What happens when a world conquering evil maniac steals the brain of the Slayer to use in a creation that will destroy his arch nemesis?

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Cartoons > Inspector GadgetSithicusFR7510,4552162,74817 Aug 0829 Aug 08Yes

NOTE: This chapter is rated FR13

Battle of the Gadgets

Author's Notes:Yes I did just post the fourth chapter yesterday, and so far only one reader has reviewed, but I said I was finishing this off before I worked on anything else and by jimminy I'm finishing it off. So here's the final chapter of The Great Brain Robbery, I'm not sure if it ends too abruptly or conviently I'll let you readers decide and comment upon said ending if you so choose. I hope you will. I think you'll love the ending though, it's the epic battle that Disney should have done in their movie, I mean how could you not have a Robo-Gadget and make Gadget fight him Gadget to Gadget? They might have did a little bit of that sort of thing, but in my opinion there wasn't enough Gadget sillyness. Anyway, here you go, and yes I am aware certain things are implied by the ending. What happens depends sorely up to you the readers.



Chief Mauser sat behind his desk clutching a cross and a stake when he agreed to be transferred to this place after the disaster at Precinct Sixteen he hadn’t expected to have to deal with the undead. No wonder this place was so willing to accept new blood and appeared to be the easiest place to join up at the rank anyone preferred, if it was the last thing he did he’d get Mahoney back for suggesting he come here, but if he wanted to get his own Police Academy he had to show everybody he had the skills of a great leader.

“Proctor!” Mauser shouted wondering if the little pissant had been eaten yet.

“You wanted to see me sir?”

“Where’s that idiot Gadget and why hasn’t that warden gotten back to me yet? We need that other Slayer here to make our jobs tolerable again, we can’t have demons running rampant in the streets,” Mauser ranted pacing up and down behind his desk.

“Um I don’t know sir, and that Travers fellow keeps stonewalling us on the warden front sir.”

“Damn British,” Mauser cursed,” I have to work twenty-four seven no thanks to them and I haven’t had a wink of sleep all week, there’s got to be someone who can help take the load off.”

“About that sir, the Commissioner said he was sending a few people here to help clean up this town.” Mauser eyed Proctor with a sudden pit of dread in his stomach.

“Please tell me it isn’t them. Dear God in Heaven Proctor I can’t handle another cock-up, I won’t stand for it do you hear me!” he shouted slamming his hand into his desk, Proctor winced when Mauser let out a tiny whimper.

“I’ll, ah, get some ice for that right away sir,” Proctor said rushing out of the office, Mauser held up his hand staring at the wooden stake he’d jammed through his palm.



Buffy rolled her eyes at the group as she got out of the car flipping the keys back to Giles who somehow managed to catch them, she hadn’t been driving that badly, so what if she’d run over that demon and scratched the paint it was the fastest way to eliminate the threat. Gadget’s niece was grinning like a fool as she climbed out of the car too.

“That was awesome, Uncle Gadget drives like that all the time, but I’ve never seen anybody do that to a bad guy before,” she said an odd twinkle in her eyes.

“Kid, you are seriously messed up,” Anya accused.

“Sorry I’m still a little hopped up because I just found out demons exist,” Penny apologized.

“So how do we find your uncle before Buffy goes all terminator on us?” Xander asked noticing that theirs seemed to be the only car left at the mall.

“Oh that’s easy, Brain, Brain do you read me Brain?”

“Bow wow.”

“Ok, I’m at the mall with some friends they’re trying to find the zombie too. Can you tell us where you are?” Giles eyed the tiny watch screen mystified wondering how it could possibly operate.

“Rowf, arf, rowf.” Xander spotted words darting too fast across the screen for him to make out.

“Ok Brain we’ll get there right away.” Penny turned and looked up at the adults, she wasn’t used to so many people knowing what she did her friend Atsuko wouldn’t believe her when she got back to Metro City and called her. “He says they’re at the entrance by the theatre and Uncle Gadget is trying to arrest the zombie.”

“Good Lord.”

“Come on Giles we have to get there fast before she gets away,” Willow urged rushing for the entrance, Tara, Anya and Xander were quick to follow.

“Is it always this crazy?” Buffy asked.

“Thankfully no,” Giles replied.



Dead bodies and piles of dust littered the mall, thankfully they were all demons. Brain was shocked that Gadget could ignore everything around him in favor of continuing his relentless pursuit of the very real zombie woman, that she hadn’t left or managed to escape yet was a curiosity as well. The older not Penny look-a-like stood beside him trying to figure out what was going on, when his collar sprouted radio antenna and he began to bark into it she’d reacted as would be expected.

“You’re a pretty smart pooch.”

“Bark, rowf.”

“Dawn!” Both of them looked up to see a group of people approaching at a dead run, the red head near the back suddenly sprouted up on extendable legs and charged over everyone making a beeline for Gadget.

“Go-Go Slayer Sub-Machine Gun.” Bullets began to spray out of her left index finger at a rapid pace and Brain leapt back in fear, Inspector Gadget didn’t see them coming but somehow his extra hand popped out of his hat and used a demon corpse to stop them cold before they could hit him.

“Uncle Gadget!” Penny cried suddenly very worried, Inspector Gadget turned his head and saw her.

“Penny it’s too dangerous here. Ah I see you’ve joined the archaeology club, that’s very wise of you Penny always respect the cultures of the past. Here you go Mister Giles.” Gadget threw the book back to its owner.

“Buffy stop!” Willow shouted both Zombie Buffy and Gadget Slayer Buffy shot her a look.

“Gadget’s going to die,” the Gadget Slayer stated coldly.

“Ah, an agent of Doctor Claw’s I presume, I must warn you you’ll never get away with it,” Gadget observed stunning his niece with the level of insight he suddenly seemed to possess.

“I knew you couldn’t be as dumb as you looked. Go-Go Slayer Flamethrowers.”

“Go-Go Gadget Water Pistol.” Fire and water shot through the air, the flames missed Gadget somehow and the water shorted out Buffy’s flamethrowers stunning the group yet again.

“Impossible.” Buffy threw her sunglasses aside. “Go-Go Slayer Laser Vision!”

“Go-Go Gadget Coat.” Gadget’s coat inflated sending him up into the air and Buffy’s lasers struck the mirror on the wall behind the candy counter reflecting back and burning out her firing mechanism. Growling in rage Buffy flicked back her hair and shot Gadget a murderous glare.

“Go-Go Slayer Missile Launcher.” Her head popped open and a miniature missile launcher emerged firing on Gadget and breaking his coat.

“Wowzers!” he cried zipping about in the air as his coat deflated.

“That should have killed you,” Buffy complained, the missile had struck Gadget. But it had simply burst through his coat and kept on traveling until it hit the far wall blowing it to pieces.

“Uncle Gadget can fight?” Penny stated completely at a loss as the epic battle continued.

“Go-Go Gadget Arms.” Gadget’s arms extended and he snagged Buffy pulling himself up to her so she couldn’t use any further ranged weapons. “You are under arrest for attacking an officer of the law.”

“Like hell. Go-Go Slayer Battle Blade.” Buffy’s sword popped out of her leg and she sliced wildly at Gadget’s neck, Gadget ducked his head down like a turtle.

“Go-Go Gadget Umbrella.”

“Go-Go Gadget Umbrella?” the Scoobies repeated as one in utter disbelief.

“Shouldn’t we be doing something to help?” Tara wondered uncertainly.

“I believe that Gadget fellow has this well in hand,” Giles said. Penny watched her uncle as his umbrella blocked Buffy’s sword or parried it, she was beginning to feel a real sense of pride for her uncle. She’d never seen him this way, competent and aware of his surroundings.

“Go-Go Gadget Skies.” Gadget ducked a sword thrust and skidded across the slick soda wet floor on his skies, Buffy tried to smash into him on rollerblades, but the stickiness of the floor tripped her up. “Go-Go Gadget.”

“I don’t think so.” Buffy grabbed Gadget around the throat before he could utter another word. “I bet you can’t activate your Gadgets without uttering commands, but Doctor Claw made me with a few marked improvements,” she said as her left hand changed into a spinning buzz saw, “and if I cut out your brain then you’ll be dead Gadget no more interfering with Doctor Claw’s plans.”

“No! Uncle Gadget!”

“Buffy remember Doctor Claw was going to blow you up to kill Gadget!” Xander shouted trying to break through to the person who had once been friends with him.

“I’m still Buffy the Gadget Slayer; this is what I was designed for.”

“No,” an unfamiliar voice spoke up; Buffy turned her gaze from Gadget to the zombie, which had spoken much to the shock of the Scoobies present. “You more, I more. Remember, Sineya,” the zombie stated and Buffy blinked beginning to feel strange. Before she could shake off this feeling the zombie charged her a new intelligence behind those eyes and an understanding. Buffy turned to catch the zombie mid-air releasing Gadget, the zombie leapt at her and the buzz saw squealed. A head fell from its shoulders, Dawn collapsed to her knees in utter shock and horror, Xander literally became sick throwing up all over the floor. Willow and Tara both burst into tears and Anya didn’t know how to react, Giles stared in complete astonishment while Penny and Brain looked on completely clueless, wasn’t killing a zombie a good thing?

“Wh-what?” Buffy looked down at her own zombified and decapitated corpse and then eyed her inhuman appendage with her own blood on it. “I. I’m not human.”

“You have the right to remain silent; you have the right to an attorney. If you choose to give up that right anything you say… Um, yes Chief is that you? You’re where?” One of the demon corpses sat up and pulled its face off revealing Chief Quimby underneath.

“Congratulations Gadget you’ve done it again,” he said, “I’ll take it from here why don’t you take your niece home.”

“But Chief, Doctor Claw’s assassin.”

“It’s alright Gadget I know how to handle her.”

“Ok Chief, if you insist.” Gadget turned and collected Penny and Brain heading for the exit without so much as a backwards glance. “Penny whatever happened to that zombie? And how did you find that dangerous assassin?”

“It was easy Uncle Gadget; I just did what you would have done.” Penny smiled and hugged her uncle happy that they were going back to safe peaceful Metro City.

“Penny, how did you become eleven years old again?” Gadget asked cluelessly.



“What happened to me? Guys?” Buffy turned to the Scoobies and Giles real fear in her eyes. “Didn’t I go to Heaven? I, I did die right? How did I, I mean…” Buffy trailed off as once again her former body came into view.

“Yes you did Miss Summers, but Doctor Claw used your brain to create the perfect cybernetic killing machine.” Chief Quimby removed his costume and stepped up to Buffy taking her hand in his. “I can have those broken Gadgets repaired for you, something tells me they could come in handy against your usual enemies.”

“Gadgets?” Buffy repeated dumbfound.

“Oh Buffy, we’re so, so sorry,” Willow said rushing up to her friend.

“We took you out of Heaven,” Xander blurted his entire world view practically collapsing all around him.

“I told you that spell was a stupid idea,” Anya stated bluntly, Xander slapped her shocking the both of them, Anya reached up to her slowly reddening cheek in silent confusion.

“Not now Ahn,” he told her trembling with an emotion that might have been pure rage or complete grief.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered looking a little lost Xander had never struck her before.

“If Buffy’s brain was taken and, and you put her soul into the zombie how’d it get put into, into the other body? And how did the zombie talk?” Dawn asked the first to realize what must have happened to her sister.

“I think the first Slayer had something to do with it,” Buffy replied bending down and picking up her own head studying it morosely.

“Could you not do that,” Giles requested.

“Sorry.” Buffy dropped the head. “God I look hideous.

“That’s what becoming a zombie does to people,” Dawn teased desperate to make the world make sense again and not be so painful.

“I’ll call you in the morning.” Chief Quimby wisely chose to let the group recover from this monstrous ordeal.

“Ok,” Buffy stated simply, “Dawn.” She turned to her sister who ran into her embrace and together they hugged each other bursting into tears.

“Don’t ever do that to me again.”

“No promises, but I’ll try.”

“I think we should all go home,” Giles decided looking thoroughly exhausted.

“Cool. Can I drive?” Buffy asked innocently.

“No!” the rest of the Scoobies cried out, Buffy pouted and picked up Dawn in her arms startling her sister.

“Fine, I’ve got a faster way to get home anyway,” she said sticking out her tongue, “Go-Go Slayer Jet Pack.”

“Slayer Jet Pack!”

“Oh that is so not fair,” Xander complained as he watched Buffy fly off into the night with Dawn who was shrieking happily all the way.



Doctor Claw ground his teeth and smashed his console cutting off the feed from his video monitors; Mad Cat trembled slightly as the man rose out of his chair and walked through the large office. He was furious that even with all his careful planning his plot for ultimate revenge had failed yet again, staring up at a picture shrouded in shadows he raised his hands to the heavens and uttered his vow.

“I’ll get you next time Gadget, next time!”

The End



Epilogue

Penny was closing the front door to her house when a vampire appeared without warning, in a flash it was dust and Uncle Gadget walked up beside her with a curious expression.

“What are you doing Penny?” he asked.

“Just testing out my new burglar defense system Uncle Gadget.”

“That sounds dangerous Penny you shouldn’t be playing at such things catching burglars is a job for the police,” Gadget chastised.

“I know Uncle Gadget, but you can’t always be here to protect me,” she pointed out.

“That’s true Penny, but I’m sure a police officer will always be on duty and ready to help. Also if someone does try to break into the house you should get to the nearest phone and call nine one one.”

“Yes Uncle Gadget,” Penny agreed silently her Uncle nodded and left, turning to her computer book she eyed the image of her friend on the screen. “It worked.”

“I knew it would Penny; now remember never invite a vampire into your home. Crosses and holy water can hurt them and never let your stake launcher run out of stakes or fall into disrepair proper maintenance is important.”

“You forgot the most important rule about vampires Atsuko.”

“I did?”

“Yes, never go hunting for them unless you’re Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” Atsuko and Penny both laughed out loud.



A tired, miserable and completely emotionally drained group of Scoobies returned home from the mall eager to get some sleep. They intended to tackle everything in the morning, but as soon as they stepped into the house on Sixteen Thirty Revello Drive the lights in the living room flicked on revealing their entire weapons stash. Not to mention the Buffybots pieces.

“Dawn Marie Summers you have some serious explaining to do,” a stern looking brunette man stated leveling a steely gaze on the teenager and her friends.

“Uncle Tackleberry!” Dawn and Buffy both exclaimed as one.

The End ?

The End

You have reached the end of "The Great Brain Robbery". This story is complete.

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