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Quid Pro Quo

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Summary: But, that was pretty much the basis of their relationship. As the humans say “Quid pro quo.” Something given in exchange for something else. She needed him, he could certainly use her. Transformers 2007/Angel. BarricadexLilah Robot/human smut

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Marvel Universe > TransformersMarmeeNoirFR2116,4110347522 Aug 0822 Aug 08Yes

NOTE: This story is rated FR21 which is above your chosen filter level. You can set your preferred maximum rating using the drop-down list in the top right corner of every page.

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Disclaimer: I do now own Transformers the movie or Angel. Transformers belongs to Hasbro, the movie belongs to Michael Bay and Angel belongs to Joss Whedon.

A/n: Okay the idea for this would not leave me alone and I was in the mood for some smut. So, again I shifted the timeline…. The idea for these two just stuck with me.


How did he get into this mess?

Well, it wasn’t exactly a mess. It was just a slaggy situation. He was not in any immediate danger. Well, as far as he knew he wasn’t. It was hard to tell with this group. However, they needed him so they would not hurt him.

And right now he was needed to escort a certain squishy back to its layer once it finished a meeting with other squishies.

Remember the mentioning of a slaggy situation? Yes, Barricade was currently the ride home for a flesh bag.

He was repulsed by the fact. He loathed humans. But, considering his current state he had to suck it up. Not to mention this one was extremely useful. And the resources provided for him were more than he could imagine.

Also, though he would never admit it, this squishy had qualities he respected. Cunning, viciousness, no conscious what so ever.

“Oh God! Those things drone on forever….”

Speak of the devil, as the humans say. And if this human was not the Devil then it was rather close to it.

Expensive shoes clicked across the ground as the smartly dressed lawyer walked across the parking lot. The human’s vitals were good although he picked up the effects of alcohol. The counselor was not totally inebriated, just a little tipsy. The attorney stopped in front of him, a brow arched in exasperation.

“You gonna open the door or what?”

A low growl came from the speakers and the door quickly swung open, knocking the human in the side roughly and sending it to the ground. He chuckled at the surprised yelp the fleshy let out as well as the grunt of pain as it got back to its feet.

“You’re such a charmer…” The human said as it slid into the drivers seat. “Must you be so testy all the time?”

“I detest humans, you know that, bitch.”

Dark brows shot up in amused surprise as the Saleen gunned his engine and headed down the street. “Bitch? Since when did we start using “squishy” insults?”

“It’s the perfect word in your language to describe you. Not to mention your colleagues call you that so often I was beginning to wonder if that was your designation.”

“Ooh, witty too. No wonder I like you.” The human smiled. “But really, is this any way to treat the woman who saved your ass… or exhaust piping…?” She gave a shrug and a light shake of her head. “Whatever.”

“You did not save me, vermin!”

She scoffed. “Please, you’d be at the bottom of the ocean if it wasn’t for me having your ass hauled back to L.A.” She gave the wheel a sigh. “You get your ass handed to you by the big blue one…I saved your ass, hauled you back to California before the goody-bots could get a hold of you and finish the job and then toss you into the ocean, got the mystics to heal you so you wouldn’t spend the next fifty years trying to and I don’t even get a ‘Thank you, Lilah’?” She gave him an expression of hurt which he knew was false. “You really hurt my feelings.”

“You don’t have those.” He said simply and she gave a half shrug and a smile.

“You got me there.”

“And the only reason you saved me was to achieve your own ends with the Senior Partners.”

“Mm-hmm…” She calmly admitted and stretched and yawned, causing her back to pop.

The Saleen inwardly cringed. “That’s disgusting.”

“Suck it up.” She said simply. “So, were you bored?”

“Sitting outside some building while you attend some conference with those vermin colleagues of yours? Of course I was bored!”

She blinked in confusion. “Conference? Honey, it was a ritual sacrifice.”

He knew what a ritual sacrifice was. A few months in the service of Wolfram and Hart and he had seen at least three. He wasn’t technically working for them, he just worked with one of their employees. Her superiors knew nothing of him at the moment.

After she had saved him, she proposed an interesting offer. Help her climb the cooperate ladder, kill off those who stood in her way and she would have Wolfram and Hart’s resources at his disposal. He could definitely use them against the Autobots. He snickered at the thought of a Hell dragon swallowing Optimus Prime whole.

That’s another thing he couldn’t believe! There were realities aside from this one! He had actually seen a portal open to one of those realities and out of curiosity peeked in. When a dragon so huge in size that it made Megatron look like a squishy nearly bit his head off, he had quickly scrambled away.

But, that was pretty much the basis of their relationship. As the humans say “Quid Pro Quo.” Something given for something else Which is also what she said to him after making the offer.

Bringing his attention back to the present, he asked the woman about the sacrifice she had just left. “Animal, demon or human?”


“And you didn’t tell me?! Those are actually entertaining to watch.” He fumed, he had been sitting in that lot bored off of his aft while she got to enjoy the sight of squishies being slaughtered.

“What? Those are boring as Hell. They take forever, what with all the chanting and blood rites and yada yada yada…” She shook her head, making her dark brown curls bounce. “I saw you at the last one. You were parked in front of the window, chin in your hand, bored as ever…”

“What is with you humans and the need to dramatize everything? Can‘t you just skip to the killing?”

“That’s what I’m saying. I missed Robot Chicken, damn it. Then I had to deal with Gavin afterwards… I wanted to shoot him so bad… but, not allowed.” She gave a sigh and leaned back in annoyance.

It was eerie, Barricade thought, at how much she was like him. She was cunning and ruthless and a very efficient fighter as far as humans went. However if she went up against that walking squishy corpse who she loved to torment she would be horribly outmatched. Also, they both enjoyed a good kill and felt nothing afterwards. And they both hid behind human law. She was an attorney and he was disguised as a police car. She was expected to defend the law and he was expected to enforce it while in truth neither one of them could give a damn about it one way or another. He had found that out a few days after their initial meeting.

“Don’t worry Mr. Stetson.”

Barricade was parked a couple of blocks away from Wolfram and Hart when he heard his, oh how his systems churned in revulsion at the thought, partner’s voice as she spoke on her cell phone. He grudgingly opened the door for her and she slid inside.

“Excuse me for one minute.” She spoke into the phone. She pulled out a small orb and spoke in Latin. “Involvere.”

The Saleen started when the crystal glowed brightly and then sent a force through and around him.

“What the slag did you do, vermin?!” He demanded in confusion as well as fear.

She glared at his steering wheel and pressed a button on her phone, probably the mute button. “Do you mind? I’m on the phone.” When he just snarled at her in response she rolled her eyes. “It’s a glamour, as far as anyone else is concerned, I’m driving a black Saleen instead of a cop car. It’s like a hologram. Don’t need Linwood and his bitch-boy Gavin knowing about my little side project, now can I?”

“I am not your project, you tick.” He growled and she rolled her eyes.

“Sorry, yeesh…” She pressed the button again, putting the phone back to her ear. “I’m sorry, Mr. Stetson. Oh, that? No, that was just a cranky co-worker of mine. But don’t worry. Don’t worry, I can assure you. Wolfram and Hart will handle this. The girl’s death will be made to look like a suicide. I’m already getting our best conjurers on it. The stab wounds will disappear only to be replaced with long vertical slashes along the wrist.” She paused. “That’s right. That’s right. And on top of that a note will be found in her dresser, addressing her family and friends that she could not take it anymore since her recent break up.” She gave a smile. “How lucky was it that the football player decided he was sick of banging her, hmm?” She paused again. “I’m sorry. You’re right. She was still your daughter and that was out of line. But yes, it will look like a suicide. No one needs to know that you sacrificed her to a demi god… Okay, okay. I’ll have a copy of the procedure sent to you first thing tomorrow. Okay, good bye.” And with that she hung up. “Sacrificed his own kid for wealth and power…” She gave a sigh. “Damn, I should’ve had children…”

“You are an attorney, correct?” He asked and she nodded, brow furrowing in confusion.


“Isn’t it against human law to tamper with evidence of a crime? Aren’t attorneys supposed to work for the law?”

She scoffed and snickered. “I said I was a lawyer, Barricade.” She gave a light shrug. “I don’t care about the law.”

“You could have told me, you squishy vermin!” He growled, going back to the fact that she left him bored in a lot. “I’m going crazy with boredom. I have half the mind to kill you and leave.”

“Hmm.” She leaned back in the seat. “Y’know, there was a Carath demon that worked with one of the attorneys in the London branch. He killed her and the Partners made him pull out his own veins one by one.” She tilted her head to the side inquiringly. “Your wires are like veins aren’t they? Gee, I wonder what made me think of that…”

He growled in annoyance. “Louse.”

“Love you too.”

“I hope that undead squishy kills you.”

The human in his front seat sighed and rolled her eyes. “You know, Cadey…?” He growled at the condescending tone of her voice as well as the nickname.

“What, vermin?”

“You know what you need? A good lay. Maybe then you won’t be such a pain in the ass.”

A dark chuckle came from the speakers. “Considering the talk among your colleagues, you’re the last one to talk.”

The woman was undaunted. “Mmm, but see its only been a few months for me…” She tilted her head to the side and arranged her facial features into an expression of mocking curiosity. “How many millennia has it been for you again?” She snorted. “So, is that why you’re such a good fighter. Screams of pain are the only ones you can cause? And you know it too, which is why you’re such a big bitch.”

He wanted to pull over right now and kill her but he contained himself and instead countered with a hit of his own. “And is that the reason you’re such a good lawyer, vermin? You bury yourself in your work because there’s no one to ram themselves repeatedly into that disgusting flesh cave of yours?”

Lilah’s head jerked back. “Hey, leave my vag out of this.”

The Saleen gave a dark chuckle. “It’s left out of everything, which brings me back to my original point, vermin.”

Her mouth fell open in insulted shock but she quickly closed it and then broke into a grin. “Nice one. Get a lot of time to think of witty comebacks to throw while you were Tuttle Waxing Starscream’s ass?”

“One day I’m going to squish you…”

“Anything to get someone under you, hmm?”

After letting out a snarl, he slammed on the breaks she would be roughly thrown against her seatbelt. He continued on, chuckling as she glared at the wheel.

“They had human high grade at this sacrifice afterwards?”

It took the slightly buzzed woman a moment to figure that out. “Huh…? Oh, yeah. After slitting open the throats of twelve babies, going through the blood rites and the Latin blah blah we had drinks.” She rolled her eyes. “Gavin was there, kissing Linwood’s ass…”


She jerked a bit at his outburst and then snickered giddily. “Not literally, Barricade… Although, sometimes I wonder if he holds Linwood’s balls and wipes his ass when the old fart takes a shit.”

“You’re a disgusting female…”

“Yeah, so?”

As the two road in silence, Lilah’s fuzzy mind drifted back to the creature she was currently being chauffeured around in.

After sending the rescue team to the interstate to grab the broken Decepticon after his battle with Optimus what’s-his-face and then ordering him to be healed, she had been placed in charge of the cranky ‘Con. Their relationship had been rocky at best. After he had come to he tried to squish her, but after hearing her proposal and she showed him what all Wolfram and Hart had to offer… and what they were capable of he had come around.

Oh, Gavin knew she was up to something and he was more than likely reporting to Linwood with all of the information he could get a hold of, but she would be damned… again… if she let that little weasel get a hold of him. None of her superiors knew about the Decepticon she was currently working with and she intended to keep it that way. Well, none of her earthly superiors knew at least.

The Senior Partners knew about the Decepticon and they encouraged her partnership with him. Given time she could probably convince him to come completely to their side. She held a secret meeting with them over Linwood’s head, and man did that ever feel good.

She had once brought the shock trooper on one of her assignments. When she had asked him to go he gave her nothing but attitude which she returned with equal flare. But after a while she had smirked and turned her back to him.

“It’s okay if you don’t think you can handle it..”

He had gunned his engine and swerved in front of her, blocking her path. “Is that a challenge, squishy?”

She gave him a small smirk. “If you aren’t up to it, that’s fine…”

He had snarled and swung his door open for her. After that, not only had he made any attempt to leave but he no longer expressed a desire to leave either.

Speaking of their bickering, this latest bicker session had hit a little close to home. She didn’t just bury herself in her work to get at Angel and climb the cooperate ladder… It was to keep her mind off of the fact that it had been a pretty long while since she had climbed something else.

Glancing down at the dash, she thought of Barricade again. Had he been human he would’ve been the exact kind of guy she would’ve fucked the Hell out of. Hard, cold, cruel, filled with energy and sure to leave her with a satisfied smile and a wobbly step the next morning.

Come to think of it, she’d bone the Hell out of him if he were a demon too. She wasn’t that picky, as long as they knew how to work her right. Hell, if he knew how to work those huge fingers of is she’d bone him right now.


Her eyes widened in slight shock and she began to giggle. Man, she must’ve drank more than she thought. Boffing a giant robot? Only losers from Sunnydale boned robots. But then, he wasn’t some cheap humanoid robot built by a loser to quench her loneliness, and she wasn’t really lonely, just really, really horny.

What the Hell was in that cocktail again…?

Tossing caution to the wind, she sat up straight in the seat. “Hmm, y’know…” She ran her tongue over her lips. “As far as that whole not getting any thing is concerned…” Her hands stroked the dash and a smirk went across her crimson mouth at the slight jerk he gave. “I can help you out with that…”

“What?!” He cried out in shock although his voice sounded a bit strangled and her smirk widened.

“Oh come on. You…” her hand trailed across the dash, “…need…” over the steering wheel and under to the sensitive neural wires nestled underneath, “… to be a little more open minded.”

The shock trooper fought to hold back his moans. Oh, Primus did that feel good. Her slim little hands doing things to him no mech had ever done. How did she know to go for the wires anyway? Shoving the thought back, he desperately fought to regain some form of clear thought, clawing for the Decepticon part of his mind which was currently being beat down by the horny sex-deprived mech part of his mind.

“I will not interface with you, squishy!” He growled, his entire frame shuddering as he continued along the road. His sensors picked up on her rising pheromone level and he was surprised that it did not repulse him. It did quite the opposite actually but he’d be damned if he’d let her know that.

The brunette held back a growl of frustration. The husky tone in his deep voice was driving her crazy. “Come on, Cadey…” She rested her head against the wheel as she massaged the wires under the dash with one hand and shoved the other under her navy skirt and into her dampening panty hose, fingers working at her clit. She let out a breathy moan and tugged the wires, smiling shakily at the groan that came through the speakers finally. “What? You scared you’ll like it?”

Barricade was having a hard time concentrating on the road . It was taking all of his control to keep him from swerving and crashing into the passing vehicles. He really didn’t want to get into an accident, then she might be killed meaning those slim little fingers would be unable to grope him.

Yes, he was highly enjoying it and as much as he would like to think that the idea of interfacing with a human was downright repulsing he couldn’t deny that he wanted her. The scent of her pheromones on his olfactory sensors and her breathy moans, so much like their femmes, grating on his audio receptors were driving him wild.

But, she was a human! Was he really considering interfacing with a human? Was that even possible? She was flesh and bone while he was steel and cables. How could they even…?

“All I’m asking for is an uncomplicated fuck, Barricade.” Her voice cut through his foggy processors.

“ It’s not like I’m asking for a ring or… whatever the Hell your kind does. No strings attached, no emotion, no cuddling afterwards… although that’d be weird in itself.” She gave him a smile as she jammed her fingers deeper into her entrance and tugged his wires again, making him shiver. “Unless you’re afraid you can’t handle it…”

The sound of squealing tires and the smell of burning rubber filled the air as he swerved and veered off the road. The force of it sent her nearly colliding with the dashboard and she cried out in shock. She didn’t even have time to get her bearings when his door swung open and she fell out onto the ground.

She slowly pulled herself to her feet and looked around. They were in some sort of factory warehouse. She had just stood when the sound of clicks, whirrs and hydraulics sounded through the air. She looked up and was unable to stifle a gasp when the Decepticon slammed both hands on either side of her, the resulting tremors causing her to lose her balance and fall back onto her ass. She swallowed nervously as the huge robot knelt down quickly, his face only inches away from hers.

“Was that a challenge, squishy?”

Breathing heavily, she stared up at the giant robot. His crimson optics were focused on her, his gaze heated. She could hear the sound of compressors as he cycled intakes to cool his systems. Her eyes traveled over him, taking in every sharp angle of his face, the sharp teeth, the armor and finally back up to his optics. She met that heated red gaze with an amber one of equal fire and smiled lazily at him.

“If you aren’t up to it, that’s fine…”

And that was when she knew she had him. There was no way he’d resist a challenge, especially from a “squishy femme” as he called her.

A slow smirk spread across his mechanical face. “I do not back down from a challenge, vermin…”

His optics dimmed for a moment as he performed an internet search. When they brightened he suddenly lifted her up and slammed her down onto the slanted lid of a metal dumpster, making her squeak in shock as well as fear. The twinge of fear turned her on even more and she shivered in anticipation as she wondered exactly what the Hell was in those cocktails she drank earlier.

Thoughts of cocktails and martinis flew out of her mind when he reached forward and deftly ripped off her navy jacket. She gasped indignantly, even more so when he did the same to her white blouse.

“Hey! That was Vera Wang-” She started and her growled at her.

“Shut up. Your clothing gets in the way.” He then ripped off her skirt and the flesh colored pantyhose, leaving her bare on the cold lid.

She shivered and her nipples tightened and not just from the chilly night air, however she didn‘t back down. “Do you have any idea how much that-”

“I don’t give a flying slag.”

Lilah opened her mouth to give the bot a sarcastic remark but all that came from her lips was a surprised gasp when the trooper’s hand slid over her body. His three middle fingers slid over her legs, one going over each leg while the middle slid in between. His was not gentle about it either. He was only careful enough to make sure he didn’t kill her but that’s where it ended. Sharp claws raked up each leg, drawing fine lines of blood one her creamy skin. She winced in pain and then bit her lip when she felt his knuckle press too roughly against the juncture of her thighs.

“Hey! Take it easy, man!” She whined at the bot and he made a noise that sound like an exasperated snort.

“Weak fleshling… Be glad I‘m touching you at all.” He grumbled but lightened his touch by just a fraction before resuming.

His fingers raked up her legs again and she sighed gently. Now, that was a little more like it. He was still rough but this was rough in a good way. She shivered at the tingly, prickling sensation his dragging claws created as they dragged over each calf and up her thighs. The finger between her legs moved back and forth, the warm metal teasing her inner thighs. His knuckle was so close to her throbbing sex but ever time she thrust forward he moved it away, only to resume teasing her thighs and pulling away again once she tried to thrust forward.

“You bastard…” She growled in frustration and he smirked.


She arched her hips desperately. She was so horny and this fucker was toying with her! She glared into those crimson optics which she could’ve swore were filled with satisfaction.

“Get on with it!”

A dark chuckle escaped him.

“Beg me, squishy.”

Hazel eyes widened in outrage. What the fuck did this idiot just say? The only times she begged were when she were begging for her life. She didn’t beg during sex. Damn it, they begged her!

Oh, he wants to play that game, hmm?

Lilah whimpered in frustration but kept her mouth clamped firmly shut. No way in Hell was she begging.

Barricade watched amused as the human clamped her mouth shut and thrashed her had from side to side. She whimpered and moaned, bit at her lip and clawed the metal dumpster. Her eyes met his optics every now and then and he saw the desperation and anger as well as stubbornness that rivaled his own. He smirked and flicked his knuckle over her sex just once, watching her arch and gasp in ecstasy before pulling away again.

“Oh, you asshole!” She growled but finally gave up. “Please, Barricade…” She muttered grudgingly.

“Say it like you mean it, vermin!” And he completely stopped his assault on her legs all together.

Her eyes snapped open at the complete loss of contact. Oh no, she couldn‘t have that. Fuck her pride as long as she got fucked in the end. “Please, Barricade!”

Another dark chuckle that she was beginning to find hot beyond all reason escaped him and he rewarded her by slowly dragging his knuckle over her sex, increasing the temperature of his hand as he did so. She smiled in delight, gripping at the other two fingers that began teasing her breasts.

“Google taught you-mmm--all this?”

Her leg slid up and down his fingers and a squeak escaped her when he thurst his knuckle against her even harder.

“Your World Wide Web taught me enough.”

“Mmmm, faster, harder…”

He complied, going harder against her, rising the temperature of his finger and then letting it drop, only to raise it again. The result squeals and moans echoed through the building.

“That hot-cold thing always gets me off…Ah!”

The trooper picked up on the woman’s vitals. Her heart rate was steadily increasing and her respirations were irregular. A long moan escaped her lips and her leg hooked over his finger tightly, hips arching and falling in time with his movements. The steady rise of pheromones and low moans added to his growing arousal.

“Oh…Oh, shit! Barricade, I’m-I’m…” She arched her back and groaned loudly as a powerful orgasm tore through her body.

He watched those tiny fingers of hers clench and unclench and his Spark pulsed in its own need.

Bending closer to her, his chest plating pulled itself further apart to expose internal wiring as well as his Spark casing. His fingers curled around her naked body, roughly yanking her up, shocking her out of her sex daze and he found the shiver that shook her body pleasing as well as the hazel gaze filled with arousal and a twinge of fear. Yes, he liked that fear. He leaned back, bracing himself with one hand. He sat her on his chest. “Put those small fingers to good use.”

That smile, which he was beginning to find extremely sexy, rose to her mouth. “As long as you put those big ones to good use.” And she waggled her brows at him.

A growl escaped his vocals at her words. He watched her as she sat down on his chest, quickly studying the wiring, looking a bit confused since there were so many. With an impatient growl he tugged a handful of cables forward. “Grab these.” His vice was lower than before, huskier.

She reached forward, taking the cables in her hands. She gently tugged at them, experimentally at first but then with more confidence like before when she was buzzed. She noted now that she was more sober and she didn’t mind this in the least. Giving the mech a sultry stare through the thick fan of her lashes, she began stroking the wires as she would a hard cock. Judging by the gasps and moans the bot underneath her was making she was doing everything right.

Barricade was in pure ecstasy. At that moment he could not recall why humans were so repulsive. It’d come to him later but right now he didn’t give a frag. All that was in his reality was the woman on his chest, doing incredible things to his circuitry. He cycled a gasped and growled.

“Oh Primus! YES!!” His hands clawed at the ground. “Squeeze that, pinch the blue one… tug on it.” He focused on her and curled his hand around her hips.

Her eyes glinted in that way he associated with her plotting something and then that circuit scrambling smile of hers again and she bent down and took a few of the cables into her mouth.

“OH!!” A low growl erupted from his vocals and he clawed the ground harder. “W-w-what the-oohhh-hmmm-s-slag?” His head tilted back and he off-lined his optics, groaning in ecstasy at the soft, warm and wet thing surrounding his interface wiring.

“First blow job, hmm, Cade?” She snickered and skimmed her teeth over the wiring, careful not to bite through it for her sake as well as his.

“Oh… Oh, Primus!”

No wonder humans constantly bragged about or complained about whether or not someone used their mouth on them. Again, he tried to remember why were humans disgusting but couldn’t think of a reason. He clenched her hips harder. “Suck harder.” She did as she was told and he groaned loudly as the sensations went straight to his Spark chamber.

A smile curled around the wires and she stimulated another handful of wires with her free hand. This was, without a doubt, the weirdest lay she’d ever had. She had wires in her mouth for fuck’s sake and it turned her on.

“Touch my Spark casing…”

The passion-laced mechanical voice made her lift her head.

“Your who-what’sit?” She asked intelligently.

“The cylinder…” he paused to moan. “In my chest, you vermin.”

Why was she beginning to think ‘vermin’ was his new pet name for her? Was it because she didn’t get pissed when he called her that anymore?

Shrugging it off, she crawled forward towards the cylinder in the middle of his chest. It was about three-fourths her size. She slowly reached forward, unsure of what would happen, and slid her hand over the surprisingly warm metal.

A feral growl of pure pleasure resonated through the air and he jerked forward so suddenly that she lost her balance and slipped off.

“Oof!” She grunted unceremoniously when she hit the ground. Luckily Barricade was a pretty small Decepticon and he was sitting down and leaning back so the fall wasn’t as bad.

“Shit…” Now, if that wasn’t a way to kill her buzz.

She lifted herself to stand when her eyes landed on her purse. It must’ve fallen out of Barricade when she did earlier.

“Get the frag back up here!” He growled at her.

Quickly retrieving something from the bag, she barely had time to gasp when his fingers slid around her waist and yanked her back to his chest. “Get to it.”

“Yes, sir.” She smirked and began touching his Spark chamber again.

That loud growl rekindled the fire between her legs, and she dragged her nails over the metal, earning her a shiver. The shuddering warm metal she sat on vibrated against her still-sensitive clit and she sighed in pleasure, grinding against his chassis.

Barricade felt the human moving against him and looked down at her with lust optics. She must’ve felt his gaze on her for she looked up and met his gaze. She smiled that taunting, calculating smile at him and his Spark quivered in anticipation. That smile meant something wickedly interesting and unexpected.

Without breaking eye contact, she made a movement. Her hands were inside his chassis so he couldn’t see what she was doing. That smile widened and she jerked her arm forward.


The trooper cried out and trembled as a jolt went through his Spark casing. He could hear that throaty giggle and it happened again.

“Vermin… w-what are you doing?”

He looked down at her and she smirked, holding up a black object that crackled with electricity.

“I love my job, I get the best toys.” She smirked and jabbed him with the stun gun again, making him cry out. “This voltage would kill a man in seconds…” She jabbed him again, dragging it slowly along his casing, watching the voltage flicker against the metal, smirking as she heard his coolant systems going into overdrive. “But, I’m guessing this is just a good vibrator for something like you.”

The Decepticon wasn’t even paying attention to her words, only the pleasing volts on his Spark casing, sending delightful jolts straight to his spark. He felt the overload charge beginning and he gasped and moaned, thrashing his head back and forth in bliss. He felt her other hand grip at his wiring, pinching and tugging at it and, OH YES! He felt her tongue moving over those wires again.

Running her tongue against the sensitive wires, Lilah lifted her eyes back up at the Saleen. His optics were closed and his facial plating was a mask of bliss. The thundering sound of his moans heated her into a frenzy. She wanted his fingers on her, in her, whichever, as long as he was touching her.

She sucked harder at the wires at the thought and he jerked, causing her to nearly slip off again but this time his hand caught her.

“Be a clumsy idiot on your own time, vermin.” He growled at her and she retaliated by upping the voltage on the Tazer and zapping him again and her hissed in delight. “Primus, woman…”

A dark brow went up. Since when did she go from “vermin” to “woman”? Her thoughts went out the window when she felt his thumb go over her back, She moaned softly and then gasped in delight when his smallest finger slid between her legs and he jabbed it into her.

“Oh… Oh, SHIT! Faster!”

His finger crooked back and forth inside of her, the tip of it brushing her G-spot and she squealed. She took the wires in her mouth again and pressed the stun gun against his spark casing even harder. The air around the casing began to heat up, in fact so did his whole body, including the finger buried inside of her, stroking away. She sighed and whimpered, thrusting her hips against his finger, riding it for all she was worth. Oh God! She was so close! “Oh, damn Barricade…” She tossed her head back, bringing a handful of wires to her face to run her tongue against them. His whole body, including his fingers, trembled, vibrating against her G-spot and she cried out as an orgasm much more powerful than the first one ripped through her body.

“OH! Oh, shit! Oh, damn, Cadey!” She wailed as her body shook violently, her walls clamping down on his finger.

When she finally calmed down, a clanking noise caught her attention and the cylinder opened up to expose a strange blue pulsing light.

“Zap it!” His voice growled at her in desperation.

She slowed down against him but did not stop riding his finger. She forced her eyes to focus. “Wh-what’ll happen if I get near that? Will it kill me?”

“I don’t know.” He obviously didn’t care either.

She let out a scoff. “Pfft! You can forget it, I’m not risking my life just so you can- AH!”

He jerked his finger inside of her, sending a wave of pain and pleasure through her and she involuntarily jerked forward and the her hand holding the tazer went straight into his Spark.

Ecstasy! That was the only thing Barricade felt went her hand went inside of his essence., the stun gun sending wave after wave of blissful currents into his Spark. His entire frame shook as the overload flooded his body in jolting waves. He cried out as his entire frame trembled, his vision pixilated and static clouded his audio receptors, so he figured it was only his imagination when he heard Lilah cry out in pleasure before he off-lined.


“Glad you’re awake, finally… jackass…”

Barricade’s optics came online and he found himself staring up at the warehouse ceiling. He turned his head and found Lilah, frizzy-haired and sitting against the dumpster he had slammed her into earlier and lifted his head in confusion. She was fully clothed in baggy jeans and an equally baggy shirt. When did that happen?

“Where’d you get those?” He asked and she nodded to the floor.


He looked over and blinked when he noticed the dead human male lying on the floor, bullet wound in his head “He showed up, bitching about the noise, freaked when he saw you and, well, couldn’t have him talking and telling those goody-bots about you, now can we?” She gave him a smile which shifted into a glare. “You probably could’ve killed me, asshole!”

If he could’ve rolled his optics, he would have. Instead he sighed and pulled himself to his feet, changing into his alt mode. “You’re alive, aren’t you? Stop freaking out.”

“Please, stop using human phrases… They sound so wrong coming from you.” She got her purse and got inside the driver’s seat.

He gunned his engine and started off towards her apartment. He felt much better than he’s felt in a long time, and judging by the way she lounged in his seat, so did she.

“You wouldn’t have cared if that killed me either way, would you?” She asked after a while.

“Before or after I overloaded?” He asked and she snorted.

“Asshole.” Then she smirked. “Oh well, at least I got off three times.”

“I thought you only overloaded twice.” He said and she shook her head, folding her arms behind her head.

“Nope. I did it again when you… What’s it called? Overloading? Yeah, you shook, so did your finger and I got off again. “ She chuckled and shook her head. “I’ve never had anyone get me off three times before.” She gave a sigh. “You’re good.”

That dark chuckle resounded through the car, making her nipples tighten beneath her blouse once again.

“Of course I am, vermin.”



The End

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