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They woke me up for this???

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Summary: Buffy is a several thousand year old Solar exalt from the First Age. Crazyness ensues

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Games > Fantasy > ExaltedFrardowinFR131618061,64428 Aug 0828 Aug 08Yes
Author’s Note: Ok this challenge has only one logical path and conclusion. Buffy is obviously a Solar from the First Age if the challenge is to be understood. The Story will be short because a several thousand year old Solar can pretty much shape reality at a whim. I do not own Exalted, or Buffy.
Challenge Issued by: Dargos

Write a story where shamans beg gods to send them mighty champions, to save mortals from demon armies. Unconquered Sun hears their plea and for centuries Solar Exalted walked the Earth. Once last True Demon has been slain, Unconquered Sun removes his champions from the world of mortals except one woman who will one day be known as Buffy Summers.

"I slept for thousands of years and when I slept Unconquered Sun granted me vision of what happened among mortals, all the knowledge of the world. Then he woke me up"


1. Buffy is Solar Exalted, not a Slayer. She is in coma-like sleep and grants her collective knowledge of mankind, until she wakes up.
2. Buffy wakes up sometime after WW2 and before Master´s harvest. You decide.
3. Buffy has no romantic interest in vampires or mortals. Exalted male is OK.
4. Watchers and slayers still exist; Buffy has nothing to do with them.
5. Unlike many stories where Buffy is a teenage girl, this Buffy is experienced, mature warrior.

They woke me up for this?

As the most humble and honored scribe to the great and wondrous Buffy, Queen of Magnificent and Powerful Power, it has fallen to me to write of her glorious return to creation.

When her most beauteously beautiful self woke from her most deserved and sacred slumber, in which she most assuredly was dreaming of great things that are inconceivably inconceivable to pathetically inadequate and unworthy mortals such as myself, she was in perfect form and already dressed in styles that far outshone anything the pathetic mortal fashion designers could design.

Her most excellent Excellency knew that she was aroused from her holy meditative slumber for the good of all Creation. After quickly surveying the area formerly known as Sunnydale, Her greatest of greatness wandered the towns for a few weeks to think on the best course of action for all of her people.

We are obviously very blessed to have such a wondrously wonderful guardian such as she. When she made her decision she entered the establishment that was called The Bronze and let the people know what her decision was. The large vampire, who I believe was called Duke or Doug or some such, looked at her most gloriously glorious and laughed when he asked her who she was!!

The ill mannered fool didn’t even fall to his face in reverent awe as he should have, the lout.

Her most wondrously wonderful looked at them all and with great sorrow pronounced their doom.

“I have judged this place to be one of great evil. This place shall be cleansed from the face of Creation as shall all others like it. I am sorry for those who shall be cleansed along with it, but you shall be remembered for your noble deaths”

At that her most powerfully powerful summoned a ball of green flames from Ligier the green sun of Malfeas itself. She then let the ball of flame drop to her feet, in moments the small town and surrounding area was engulfed in emerald flames that burned hotter than anything natural.

We all know how her greatness then travelled to other places of evil, Cleveland, Boston, and Texas to name a few, and cleansed them as well. It was with great sorrow that she over threw the pathetic American military and government system, but we all know that it was for our best interests that she did so.

After all I am better cared for now as a slave than I ever was when I had to worry about rights and freedom.

Alexander Lavelle Harris,
Scribe and Servant to her most holiest of holy hollies, Buffy.

The End

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