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Congratulations

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Story

Summary: After listening one of Vernon's rants, Harry decides to introduce the Wizarding World to a Muggle concept they've never seen before.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Harry Potter > Non-BtVS/AtS StoriesGreywizardFR71939145812,7051 Sep 081 Sep 08Yes
CoA Winner
Disclaimer: They all belong to JKR. Deal with it. I have.

Time Frame: Post 'Order of the Phoenix.'

Spoilers: None.

Character Bashing: Nah. Not this time.

Feedback: Of course!

Archiving: Talk to me first, please.

Author’s Note 1: This is unbeta'd.

As usual, “word” indicates speech, :: word :: indicates mental communication and { word } indicates a character's thoughts.

~~~

Malfoy Manor
Wiltshire County
England


Lucius Malfoy frowned as he read the letter that had just been delivered via owl post to his family's ancestral home.

***

Mister Malfoy:

Congratulations! Black, Brown and Redson Associates is pleased to inform you that you have the honor of having been selected as one of ten finalists in the Black, Brown and Redson Pureblood of the Year Contest!

As you are no doubt aware, this exclusive contest is only open to those descended from the best and purest of the European Wizarding World's families. The winner of this contest will receive a 25,000 galleons award and an all-expenses-paid week's vacation at Casa Veelajo, Southern Spain's premiere Veela Colony and Resort.

In order to properly process your entry, please return the following document, signed and witnessed by a Gringotts clerk, via owl post, together with:

10,000 Galleons (cash or certified bank draft only)
4 Tbl. blood of each family member
8 Hairs, complete with root, of each family member

The processing fee, blood and hair and associated information to be submitted on the attached form are to ensure that only the elite of the pureblooded families are considered among the competition, since some formerly eligible family lines have unfortunately fallen into disrepute over the past four centuries.

Be assured that the blood and hair supplied are for verification testing purposes only, in order to ensure that only properly eligible families are permitted to compete, and that the testing will be performed in Black, Brown and Redson's own fully accredited laboratories.

Please return the completed form to Black, Brown and Redson Associates, Number 12 Grimmauld Place, London, as soon as possible, in order to enable us to complete any remaining formalities and award this year's title to the most deserving recipient.


Sincerely,

Russell Grimm, Jr.


Black, Brown and Redson Associates
Our motto: Proud to be serving the pureblood community in the manner it deserves.

***

Lucius wondered for a moment why he had never heard of this 'Pureblood of the Year Contest' before this, but then shrugged. The letter made it clear that only the most elite families were selected for consideration, and he was surprised and somewhat insulted that the Malfoys had never received notification of this competition before this year.

Glancing over the correspondence, he carefully noted the wording, ("I, Lucius Malfoy, do hereby accept all of the conditions noted on this letter") before shrugging again, then walked over to his desk and grabbed a quill to scrawl his signature on the bottom of the note.

The sooner he returned this, he decided, the sooner he'd receive notification that the Malfoys had been finally been recognized as being among the elite, the way they should have been recognized decades before this.

~~~

Number 12 Grimmauld Place
London, England


"Merlin's Beard! I don't believe it! The bloody ponce actually fell for it! He really did it!"

Harry's half-exulting/half-disbelieving exclamation broke the quiet currently filling the Black family house and focused the attention of the other adolescents sprawled on the couches and chairs scattered around the library.

"Who did what, mate?" Ron asked as he looked up from reading his copy of Quidditch Weekly.

"Malfoy. He actually returned the form letter we sent him! Along with the cash and blood and hair samples we asked for," he half-shouted with glee as he held up the scroll and the bag holding the other items he'd described which had accompanied the letter.

"Great! I've got the base polyjuice potions all ready, Harry," Hermione informed him with a smile as she got up from the table where she'd been studying. "Just drop one of Lucius', Narcissa's and Draco's hairs in them and we'll be all set.

"And I've already packaged extra vials for us to take with us to use if we need to spend longer than an hour in the vaults," she noted as Ron cast one of the spells the trio had been developing over the course of the past two months

"Okay, guys, we're all set. He never noticed the concealment charm you cast on the form, Hermione," the redhead noted with a pleased smile.

The magically restored form now read: "I, Lucius Malfoy, do hereby accept all of the conditions noted on this letter and give the bearer of this letter and their companions full and complete access to the Malfoy Family Vaults, together with full and complete access to any other vaults over which I currently or in the future might possess legal authority and/or access."

Harry, Hermione and Ron then each gulped down the potions they held and a moment later, Lucius, Narcissa and Draco Malfoy stood in front of the fireplace.

"All right, guys, let’s get moving. We want to be back and have everything put away before your mum comes back, Ron," Hermione noted as she grabbed the floo powder.

"Gringotts Bank lobby," she called as she stepped into the flames.

~~~

Elwin Parkinson frowned as he read the letter that had just been delivered via owl post to his family's ancestral home.

***

Mister Parkinson:

Congratulations! Black, Brown and Redson Associates is pleased to inform you that you have the honor of having been selected as one of ten finalists in the Black, Brown and Redson Pureblood of the Year Contest!

As you are no doubt aware, this exclusive contest is only open to those descended from the best and purest of the European Wizarding World's families…


FIN

The End

You have reached the end of "Congratulations". This story is complete.

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