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Not a Real Nazi

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Summary: Dr. Indiana Jones and his wife, along with his newly discovered son, are on their honeymoon in Paris. Their trip is interrupted when they meet up with an old... acquaintance, shall we say... of Indy's from the war.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Movies > Indiana JonesElvenBookwyrmFR71885092,9392 Sep 082 Sep 08Yes
I don't own this.


Indiana and Marion Jones were newly married, blissful, healthy, and enjoying Paris. Their son, Mutt was equally healthy, but enjoying himself in the city of lights less than his parents; this was understandable, as he was twenty years old and accompanying his parents on their honeymoon. All in all, though, he thought it wasn't so bad. After all, he got to see some of the European women he'd heard so many stories about, like the dark-haired beauty that kept shooting him glances while whispering in her boyfriend's ear. He shot the girl a wink, which was met with a frown by the guy, and then turned back to the pier, where his parents were arriving back after their dinner cruise. His parents walked off the boat first, and then...

"Jonesey!" came the shout from behind Mutt. He turned around, half expecting to see his father's turncoat friend, Mac. Instead, it was the dark-haired girl's boyfriend, who had stood up and was waving his arms to get his father's attention. "How've you been, mate? It's been an age!"

"Spike?" Indy said, walking in front of Mutt, almost... protectively. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, well you know, Dru and I hears you've gotten hitched and I thinks, we should look up old Jonesey. Grab a few beers, shoot some pool, renegotiate the terms of my debt."

"That isn't up for negotiation."

"Why not? It isn't like-"

"If he saves the girl or the puppy," the dark-haired girl interrupted, "it counts, yes? The debt will be paid."

"Dru, love, you're getting ahead of yourself again. And what puppy?"

"Indy, how do you know these people?" Marion whispered.

Spike, somehow, overheard her. "We fought with each other in the war."

"With, against, it was all the same to you, wasn't it?" Indy said.

"He was a Nazi!?"

"Don't fret, my love," the woman - Dru - said. "He wasn't a real Nazi. He'd never push the children into a poison room."

"Got that right," Spike said. "I prefer a bit more artistry in my killings."

"He was just pretending until your Terrier helped him find me in Berlin. We left the war - left the continent - as soon as we could after that."

"Yeah, I didn't want no more of that in my life, such as it is. I had my own life to live, as you've got yours. Got my Dru to look after, as you've got your..."

"Marion," Indy finished shortly.

"And the puppy."

"Dru, what pup- wait. Oh, no. Jonesey, you old dog, you didn't manage to get her knocked up already, did you?" Spike said with a laugh.

"Hey!" Mutt said, trying to push past his father. "That's my mother you're talking about!"

A moment later, he regretted having opened his mouth. Spike turned to him with a calculating, almost hungry expression. Then his face changed. His forehead went all ridged and deformed, and his eyes glowed an evil shade of yellow Mutt was sure he'd caught a glimpse of inside the crystal skull. "So you're the puppy," he said.

He then hissed and reeled back. Indy, who was holding a small wooden cross in his hand, glared at Spike and growled, "My family, by blood or by choice, are an extension of myself. I made that clear when you asked about my father and Wan Li."

"You couldn't have touched him, anyway, Spikey," Dru said. "The Box's blessing on the two of them carries on, as much as the Cup. I'm sorry about that, Terrier. He was awfully excited when I told him we could get rid of the debt, and he got the wrong idea. Hello, Marion."

"You... you're a..."

"Vampire, yes. It wasn't me, you know, what killed your daddy. His name was Nikolai, and the Slayer got him not long after. Don't ever let the Puppy go to war." She sauntered over towards Mutt, stopping just out of Indy's reach, staring intently at him. Despite knowing what she was, despite being terrified at the thought of monsters coming to life, Mutt found that he couldn't look away. "The Regent of the Three Letter King will try to force him to go, but there's more of us in the Jungle and they don't have an arrangement. They just drink until they burst. You'll have to run, when the Regent starts calling for the young men. Canada is always safer than Mexico." She turned and smiled at Indy. "And now the debt is paid."


"How will you know? You won't. But you'll never see us again, and you'll never call on my Spike, so we'll consider it paid on all fronts. Yes?" She didn't wait for an answer, but looked back at Mutt and blew a kiss. "He'll look rather like you, you know. The Kitten. You shouldn't flirt with English girls anymore, though, or she'll get jealous, and run away. Spike?" she said, turning back to her paramour. "It's getting late. We ought to hurry if we're to catch our train."

Before anyone could say anything, they were gone, leaving Indy, Marion and Mutt to wonder. A moment later, Marion sighed. “Well, I guess we’ll have to start picking out houses in Canada,” she said. “And I’d just gotten used to the one we have now.”

The End

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