And the Chaos God said: "Whoa, that was cool."
Disclaimer: As usual...don't own anything. Buffy and crew are owned by Joss (who also owns Firefly). Scrubs is owned by Disney/Buena Vista entertainment.
Author's Notes: Yeah, I know this is a short update, but it's actually the second part of the last chapter. I had to salvage this from my old computer...which died a horrible death. Anyway, as you may have noticed...this fic is NOT dead. Working on the next one right now. I kind of got sidetracked by my other projects, but I'm returning to this one now. This is a small update, but believe it or not, we're starting to wrap this one up.
"So," said Janus as he clasped his hands together. "What's up, Docs?" His question prompted a frown from several of the Doctors, though it seemed Four, Seven, Nine, and Ten didn't seem to care.
Xander, on the other hand, just shook his head and grumbled up at the ceiling as if talking to some imaginary deity. "Okay...what next? Anything else you want to do to me?"
"I'd be very careful when talking out loud like that, Xander," Janus warned. "You never know who just might be listening."
"Damn...you might actually have a point," said Xander. "So...who are you again?"
"The name is Janus, god of chaos, change, gates, doorways, keys, beginnings, ends...blah, blah, blah, and all that." As he spoke, Janus shifted forms again, this time he was a man in early forties with short cropped dark hair and wearing what appeared to be a janitor's uniform. "I also work part time as a janitor at a hospital in LA, but that's really not important."
"No, it isn't," snapped Eight as stepped up to stand between the self proclaimed god and the others. "What are you up to now, Janus?"
"Ah...number Eight," chuckled Janus as he patted the man on the shoulder. "It's been awhile, hasn't it? I think you were the best one out of all of them, even though your time was short-lived. So much potential...damn.” The chaos god sadly shook his head. “I guess the good do die young....especially around here.”
Xander half-raised his hand. “Um...hello? Still young, not dead, and really confused here.”
“As if that's anything new,” Six snorted.
“Shut up,” almost everyone, including Janus, said in unison.
“Anyway,” Janus continued, “I suppose you are wondering why you're all here...trapped in the mind of a awkward teenager with issues, sitting on a Hellmouth, manifesting in...Xander, you really need to stop spending time in the library. I would have thought your subconscious would set you up at beach resort with scantily clad girls clinging to you.”
“Hey, I'm sorry,” Xander shot back, “I want that too, but I've been too busy trying to stay alive these last two years.”
“Yeah, there is that,” Janus conceded. His form shifted again, this time into a blond haired man with slightly goofy grin, wearing jeans and a bright Hawaiian shirt that almost looked like he grabbed it from Xander's collection.
“Wait, that looks like one of mine,” Xander said.
“I don't think so, I got this five hundred years in the future...a remnant of Earth-that-was.”
“Earth-that-was?” asked Six, genuinely intrigued by that revelation.
“Alternate dimension,” replied Janus, shifting back into his janitor uniform. “Now shut up.”
“I'm starting to think I'm not very popular here,” Six grumbled.
“Finally caught on to that, did you?” Five chuckled.
“Are you going to get to the point some time this century?” asked Eight.
“Sorry,” said Janus. “Just got a little sidetracked. Okay...why you're all here, the quick and dirty version: Someone in this dimension harnessed some of my power to perform a ritual that literally turns everyone who bought a costume from that individual into their costume.”
“You mean that weasel who ran Ethan's costume shop?” Xander shook his head at that realization. “I knew there was a reason he sold this cool jacket at a cheap price.”
“Yes, that would be Ethan. He altered almost every item in the shop, except for three of them, because they were already infused with some sort of dimensional energy.” Janus then gestured at the jacket Xander was wearing. “That would be one of them.”
“Where did he get the jacket?” Nine asked.
“At a second-hand store rummage sale in Cardiff.”
Nine turned to face Ten. “How did MY jacket end up in a rummage sale at a second-hand store?”
“Hey, it's not my fault,” Ten said defensively. “I didn't have anything to with that. When I fully recovered, I was wearing pajamas provided by Rose's mother and prevented Earth's destruction with the help of an satsuma orange.” He paused as he realized something. “Wait, I remember that now...and other things....but how?”
“You were the last to use that article of clothing,” Janus said. “You basically left your imprint on it, and when Ethan performed his little ritual...well, you all know that happened.”
“Fine,” snapped Eight. “Now tell us how to end it.”
“Or what?” Janus grinned at the man. “You'll cut me off from this dimension and exile me to some void-like prison? Not likely...but since I like you, I'll tell you. Find the little statue of me that Ethan used to cause this spell, break it, and everything pretty much returns to normal.” His grin grew larger as he looked at Xander. “Well, almost everything.”
“What's that supposed to mean?”
“Don't worry, Harris...you don't die. But thanks to tonight's events, it's going to get...interesting.”
“Define interesting,” said One.
“Let's just say that the game got bigger.” Janus winked at them as he stepped back into the portal. “See you around.”
“Oh no you don't,” Xander and Ten said at the same time as they both lunged to grab the departing chaos god. Unfortunately, Xander was thrown back across the room when he hit the shimmering green barrier while Ten simply disappeared into it.
Almost all the other remaining Doctors winced as Xander hit the far wall before crashing in a heap. While several of them went over to help the young man to his feet, Four simply sat back down in his chair and popped a couple more jelly-babies in his mouth. “Well,” he said, “that was different...a little anti-climatic, but still different.”
Eight, who hadn't moved from where he was standing, suddenly remembered something Janus had told them. “Hold on...he said there were three items infused with dimensional energy. The jacket was one of them...what were the other two?”